Road Rage

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“If I put the pedal to the metal I might get there on time”

Road Rage

Friday morning, last work day of the week, tried to avoid the morning rush hour at any cost.

I left earlier than usual and reached the interstate only to realize every other person and their friend had had the same idea.

I was cursing (and shouting) out loud in the car at ‘all the idiots’ hogging the lanes. Divided into two kinds of drivers; the first ones driving no faster than the speed limit, the others cris crossing from lane to lane, speeding then slowing down and speeding up again.

Myself of course being the only driver there, following all the traffic rules and driving in the best possible manner, felt allowed to chastise all the others.

I myself try to pick one lane and stick with it. I like to drive fast, so I usually choose the fastest lane, keep a few car lengths in reserve and get to my destination on time. But, for some reason the overtaking lane was filled with ‘Sunday drivers’ who were in absolutely no hurry getting anywhere particular, but they liked to drive along this lane annoying everyone else.

I have also noticed turning to a side road can be a very difficult maneuver: Starting to slow the car down a half a kilometer before the turn is ahead, leaving the others behind you wonder what is wrong. Do not bother with the turn signal, the other drivers can read your mind and know exactly what you are doing. If they don’t have ESP, shock them by turning the signaling on a few seconds before you actually turn, giving (hopefully) enough time for the drivers behind you to brake!

There is a select group of drivers, who call themselves motorcyclists. Trying to survive your fellow car driving humans is one thing, but another thing is dodging those silvery bullets passing your car in a speed of light blur from only inches away. Driving in the middle in “no-lane” and stopping for no man! I myself am more of a scooter person, driving the grandma version, pink of course, slowly and enjoying the sound of the birds singing.

A recap of how most drivers “read” in to what the usage of the traffic lights means:

* Green: The phone is ringing, stop the car to take the call and for what ever reason, do not look at the rear view mirror!
* Yellow: Accelerate, the light is almost red now, you need to reach the intersection RIGHT NOW!
* Red means GO GO GO!!

“Get off your mobile, keep your eyes on the road and put the pedal to the metal!”

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Four Wheel Drives and Shopping Bags

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“You need to put the pedal to the metal and shift gears as low as you can in an uphill situation”

Four Wheel Drives and Shopping Bags

I have wondered for a while where people who drive massive four-wheel drives live. Is it a rural forestry area, were they would need a tractor like vehicle just to get to the main road? Or maybe they are sidelining as farmers and the car has a double function as a plow or other form of device needed on a big estate?

I myself drive a small car, even though it has four wheels. In comparison it is really a minor league moving vehicle compared to some of the “muscle cars” increasingly occupying the traffic.

I prefer a car that is low on gas, maintenance and at most times, easy to find parking space for. Sometimes referred to as “a shopping bag”, but I have no idea why, since most times you can only fit two bags in the boot at best.

There is hardly any elbow room for trying to shift gears when you are driving stick if there is a passenger sitting next to you. And if you manage to put on few pounds, then good luck trying to fit in your seat in the first place. Definitely not the best mode of transportation for any larger number of family or any larger pet than a Chihuahua.

You also need to watch out if driving in windy weather: Compared to a massive four wheel drive, the shopping bag has difficulties keeping it’s wheels on the road! Basically anytime driving over 80 kilometers per hour, the little car will start shaking like it was on the dance floor. And you start feeling your knuckles getting white while gripping the steering wheel as hard as you can.

When driving up hill, your little car usually starts with hiccups and coughing until it finally freezes if you forgot to shift the gear to lowest possible and did not remember to stomp the gas pedal as hard as you could.

Parking should be easy for a tiny car especially when up against the big muscular cars. But sometimes trying to fit in a space between two big cars parked over the allotted space can be a tricky maneuver. After a few adjustments and back and forth motions you finally manage to get into the spot without any damage. The next step is to wiggle yourself out of the car through the small crack between the slightly opened door and the car itself, pushing and pulling and squeezing your body, until you are finally out! After the acrobatic maneuver like that, you can cancel going to the gym for the day.

The lesson learned here is quite simple: “Take a bus!”

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