The Four Options For Coffee (BEST OF 2016)

Posted in BEST OF 2016

“Coffee – the finest organic suspension ever devised.
It’s got me through the worst of the last three years.
I beat the Borg with it”
Captain Kathryn Janeway

The Four Options Of Coffee

1) Good
2) OK
3) Drinkable
4) Yak

How to recognize bad coffee:

1) Looks like tea, doesn’t taste like tea and certainly not like any coffee you’ve ever tasted!
2) Sticky gooey stuff sticks on your tongue: Looks like tar, tastes like tar!
3) Your face twitches in a funny way: Not funny good, but funny bad.
4) Coffee with milk: Except when it’s ice coffee, with lots of coffee, a little ice and hardly any milk.

You know it’s an excellent cup when the coffee is:

1) Black.
2) The spoon melts in it before you manage to stir.
3) You have a burned after taste in your mouth for several hours after your last cup of the day.
4) It’s ten o’clock in the evening and you are still drinking it.

Note: Why you would actually stop drinking coffee at any hour is beyond me!


Coffee, by any other name (BEST OF 2016)

Posted in BEST OF 2016

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

Coffee, by any other name

“What’s in a name?
That which we call, coffee,
By any other name,
Would smell as sweet;”

The sweetest of aroma,
From every cafe in Roma
Bringing you to your knees,
When on a walkabout, in Paris

A cup of Java
A cup of Joe
Darker than molten lava
Just let the liquid flow!

Coffee, by any other name…

Well, it’s all coffee,
And all coffee
Is good,
And be merry
And sooner than later
Have another cup
Then some more,
Maybe one more,
For the road,
To get off the load,
Take away,
Now you’re talking,
Just keep on walking
Another cafe
Is bound to
Come along!