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“Whatever floats your boat as long as it doesn’t sink mine!”
Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind)!
Start your engines and may the best women, win!
Yes, yes, yes! I was watching the season finale of the RuPaul’s Drag Race today and, no, my favourite queen was not crowned today. This is actually supposed to be, again, one of those exercises for where I type in what ever floats in my mind in an allotted amount of time.
Problem: There is a *lot* floating there, whether it is inspirational, interesting or even artistic, is another matter. So here I am tapping the keys on my mac, which I actually wrote an homage to a little while back. Go figure!
OK, so back to the subject at hand: What is going on in my mind? Thinking, thinking, thinking… Ah here is a topic! Well, as my…
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“Every writer I know has trouble writing” Joseph Heller
Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind)! Part One
“This written tale is based on the prompt:”Four-hundred words. One at a time. Go.”
I woke up, when I was born, no sooner, no later. That was as stupid an opening line as “Once upon a time” or “It was a cold and rainy night”, but I thought I was being clever in starting the tale with a joke. You who follow my writing may have noticed the humouristic twist in most tales, at least at some point. For the life of me, I cannot write serious, not matter how I try. Maybe I would have a career in joke writing or scetches for “Saturday Night Live” or similar shows.
OK, so the agreed process for this tale is: Absolutely no censorship in this tale, my mind freely…
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“Whatever floats your boat as long as it doesn’t sink mine!”
Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind)!
Start your engines and may the best women, win!
Yes, yes, yes! I was watching the season finale of the RuPaul’s Drag Race today and, no, my favourite queen was not crowned today. This is actually supposed to be, again, one of those exercises for where I type in what ever floats in my mind in an allotted amount of time.
Problem: There is a *lot* floating there, whether it is inspirational, interesting or even artistic, is another matter. So here I am tapping the keys on my mac, which I actually wrote an homage to a little while back. Go figure!
OK, so back to the subject at hand: What is going on in my mind? Thinking, thinking, thinking… Ah here is a topic! Well, as my Mommy used to tell me: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, shut the fuck up!” And she was right. I try to count to five, sometimes even ten is needed to calm down when ever something really sets me off. But I am going to share a little secret here, trying not to be to harsh about it.
For a little while now, I have gotten deeper and deeper into the underbelly of the wery wide web. Yeah, the “w” was on purpose ;P So like the rant said, I am socially investigating interesting and well to be honest, not so interesting sites and people. (No, *not* stalking 😉 ).
Where was I? Oh yes, so I have been following this TV show and kind of liked it. Actually liking is an understatement! I got pretty much hooked on it. Enjoying the seasons so far (last season was kind of ‘meh’), but now I have learnt of a few changes in the show and the main characters are about to happen in the upon coming season. To be honest, all the hype out there generated by the “real” hard core fans is getting really annoying and the changes seem unrealistic to the nature of the show, so it may be I need to start looking for a new favourite series sooner than later. They say change is good, well, let’s see. Maybe I will turn off the television all together and pick up knitting!
Alright, enough about that subject. Guess now since I have actually shared my pain I can move on! Oh please grow up! It is a television series, not real life.
So back to the topic and what is floating in my mind. Oh, oh, oh, I have revived my life passion of photography. Not that I ever left it, but for the past year or so, the extension of my arm, also known as a c.a.m.e.r.a, had been a wee bit neglected, but now I once more feel it detached to myself. Snapping away like a mad woman!
Talking of which, or witch: yes you can call me one if you like ;P. So talking about being a little cuckoo or hii-haa or (whistling sound while spinning my finger pointed at my head), so crazy basically. I have come to realize you have to be a little off your rockers to actually pull out any kind of regular job people do in today’s world. And I think it is actually a requirement for the artistic field. So guess I am on the right track, either way. And to think about it, I used to be worried, especially having such a crazy family. But that tale is a topic for another day!
So what is floating in my mind… Let’s see, of course the pending surgery, that is a given. What else. Train of thought, OK, now I am actually thinking and when that happens, all ideas are out the door. For example if I plan my writing ahead, characters, plot (what plot?) and all that jazz, I end up having a nice setup and then start writing and the complete work is actually something completely different. So, I have realized thinking is no good, not for me at least. This may not be a good guideline for everyone and certainly not what the books on the subject matter teach. But when I let go, and let the characters guide me, the story writes itself. OK, so I am telling a little tall tale here, since I currently have at least ten stories in various stages of incompletion, but still. Take this rant for example. No planning and here I am typing, still typing, just typing. Utter, complete, nonsense!
And with that thought, I will take the exit to the right. Thanks Ladies and Gents! It’s been real! Please come back for more in the near future for more of… Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind)!
Back to Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind)! Part One
“Who wants to lick honey, must not shy away from the bees” Scots proverb
You can catch more flies with honey… And even more with manure?
Leonard Hofstadter: I’m just saying, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Sheldon Cooper: You can catch even more flies with manure; what’s your point?
Don’t be a rude dude
Or a crude prude
Just smile a little
For a change at least
Tame that beast
Don’t try to debate it
You might even like it
You won’t be hated
Most will be quite taken
When you are not faking
That giggle
It’s not a riddle
Giving a little
Getting more back
Take a whack
Just throw the dice
Try to be nice
Not a besserwisser
Or an ass kisser
It all pays off in the end
With only a wee effort spent
A smile and a great attitude
Trumps being rude
Manure or honey?
I’d bet my money
On the sweet thing
Any day
“I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I’m gone” Steven Wright
Baby I Can Drive My Car
Setting the scene
Pedal to the metal
Nerves unsettled
Giving it some gas
A little more for the blast
Overheating the machine
The engine is revving
Feels like heaven
Seeing is believing
The stress finally relieving
All the senses perceiving
No time to scoff
No time to fear
The moment is here
The road ahead, clear
Blast off!
Baby I can drive my car
Even though I’m not a star
Still I’m getting very far
Performance getting up to par
And maybe I love you babe
“If it isn’t on Google, it doesn’t exist” Jimmy Wales
Just F-ing Google It!
If you are unsure
On finding the allure
As to why, what and who
If you are in doubt
Of where, how and when
Knowing all about
The sword being mightier
Than the pen
Your head is none the lighter
But you might get wiser
Than
The oracle
Oh, no, not the database
Get onto the next phase
And
Before you ask
More stupid questions
Or hand out any suggestions
Take upon yourself the task
And just fucking Google it!
“Please, sir, I want some more” Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist
More, Please
I hate it!
More?
Yes please
It’s disgusting and vile!
More?
Yes please
This tastes really bad!
More?
Yes please
I don’t like this series!
More?
Yes please
I have no fondness for this type of activity!
More?
Yes please
I am getting too old for this shit!
More?
Yes please
The flavour of this coffee is more like tar!
More?
Yes please
I have too many shoes already!
More?
Yes please
Life sucks!
More?
Yes please