The White Cat in a Hat (BEST OF 2016)

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“A short story is something that you can hold in your mind.
You can really analyze how the entire thing works, like a machine”
Chuck Palahniuk

The White Cat in a Hat

The little white cat
With a black hat
Was taking a nap
On the kitchen mat

Her tail all curled
As she softly purred
Oblivious to the world
As it around her whirled

Something made her stir
Looking up with a stare
Straight up stood her fur
As she took off in a blur

The hat off tore
Landed on the floor
The cat was out the door
Heard was a loud roar

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The Four Options For Coffee (BEST OF 2016)

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“Coffee – the finest organic suspension ever devised.
It’s got me through the worst of the last three years.
I beat the Borg with it”
Captain Kathryn Janeway

The Four Options Of Coffee

1) Good
2) OK
3) Drinkable
4) Yak

How to recognize bad coffee:

1) Looks like tea, doesn’t taste like tea and certainly not like any coffee you’ve ever tasted!
2) Sticky gooey stuff sticks on your tongue: Looks like tar, tastes like tar!
3) Your face twitches in a funny way: Not funny good, but funny bad.
4) Coffee with milk: Except when it’s ice coffee, with lots of coffee, a little ice and hardly any milk.

You know it’s an excellent cup when the coffee is:

1) Black.
2) The spoon melts in it before you manage to stir.
3) You have a burned after taste in your mouth for several hours after your last cup of the day.
4) It’s ten o’clock in the evening and you are still drinking it.

Note: Why you would actually stop drinking coffee at any hour is beyond me!

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Coffee, by any other name (BEST OF 2016)

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“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

Coffee, by any other name

“What’s in a name?
That which we call, coffee,
By any other name,
Would smell as sweet;”

The sweetest of aroma,
From every cafe in Roma
Bringing you to your knees,
When on a walkabout, in Paris

A cup of Java
A cup of Joe
Darker than molten lava
Just let the liquid flow!

Because,
Coffee, by any other name…

Well, it’s all coffee,
Really,
And all coffee
Is good,
Just
Drink,
Enjoy,
And be merry
And sooner than later
Have another cup
Then some more,
Maybe one more,
For the road,
To get off the load,
Take away,
Now you’re talking,
Just keep on walking
Another cafe
Is bound to
Come along!

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Chocolate is The Answer: Who Cares What the Question is! (BEST OF 2016)

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“There are four basic food groups:
milk chocolate, dark chocolate,
white chocolate, and chocolate truffles”

Chocolate is The Answer, Who Cares What the Question is!

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You may be iconic
But also diabolic
It’s quite symbolic
To call me a ‘holic
But still I frolic
When I get glycogenic

Pining for your taste
Of the full flavour laced
With truffles
My mouth muffled
When I eat
My favourite treat

My life in dire straits
Would be
Without the traits
You offer me
Oh sweet Chocolate
Thee

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My Little Piece of Heaven! (BEST OF 2016)

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“Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate” Jo Brand

My Little Piece of Heaven

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There is just
something about you
I am in lust
And only for you

I am finding it impossible
to stay away
Highly improbable
Anything would keep me at bay

I lost you
Luckily
I found you

My little bit of Heaven
By sweet sweet
I am up to seven
My one and only treat

My sweet chocolate bar
In a serial package
You didn’t venture too far
When I was tracking

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Forty-Seven: part one (BEST OF 2016)

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“I no longer believe in the Easter Bunny,
and I’m beginning to wonder about Santa Claus.
But I believe wholeheartedly in 47”
Sarah Dolinar

Forty-Seven: The Proof

The time is now, 00.47
Roswell 1947
Film, 47 Minutes
Waterford Greenwich 47-piece Flatware Set
Exit 47
47 followers
London Bus Routes – 47/N47
4711 Eau de toilette
Level 47 Walkthrough
Agent 47
47 Ronin
U.S. Code › Title 47
The 47 Society
47 likes on Facebook page
47 mints in the box

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Forty-Seven: part two (BEST OF 2016)

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“I no longer believe in the Easter Bunny,
and I’m beginning to wonder about Santa Claus.
But I believe wholeheartedly in 47”
Sarah Dolinar

Forty-Seven: The Homage

How phenomenal
Quite Astrological
Completely magical
Oh so mythical
Like a rock star

My profound respect
I am fundamentally perplexed
How very puzzling
Even a little hustling
Quite the dazzling

You are… the Culprit

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Anecdote Time (BEST OF 2016)

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“As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer” Robert Quillen

Anecdote Time

Never judge a book by its cover. A paperback can be just as entertaining as hardcover.

If you want to dwell in the past, buy yourself a time machine.

You have to learn how to walk before you can run. I found out that the hard way after my hip-surgery.

Looking into a mirror is like… Well, you obviously need to take a selfie!

Time, time, precious time, where have you gone? Don’t tell me, you lost your watch again?

In my youth, the grass was always greener, food tasted better and life was much happier… Then we woke up and put the dog out to pee.

Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes… Be damned sure they are the same size as your own ones!

Today, I woke up, the day was stormy, the skies were gray, my mind felt dull... Well, you can’t always expect to be in the tropics, now can you Dearie?

Don’t do as I do, do as I say! Apparently, you can get away with murder?

People who are smart, beautiful and talented… Really piss me off!

Who is Gun Roswell? (TBT)

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“Childhood means simplicity. Look at the world with the child’s eye – it is very beautiful” Kailash Satyarthi

Who is Gun Roswell?

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The year was nineteen sixty eight
Life still at stage wait
I must have been no more
Than three years of age

Little Red Riding Hood
Yes, I knew I could
In the borrowed red elf’s hat
Cutest thing you ever saw
Prettiest princess of them all
How could I ever top that!

Now, forty seven years later
Oh life, you’re such a traitor!
I still love red of course
Now I wear it with horns
In the mighty stiletto heels
Life is as good as it feels

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If There is a Wrong Place and a Wrong Time, I’ll be There (TBT)

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“Not fitting in just means you’re in the wrong place”

If There is a Wrong Place and a Wrong Time, I’ll be There

A sale of shoes
Small sizes only
feeling bold
Into the men’s section
I wandered
No time to loose
A nice pair of boots
Fitting like a glove
I am in love
A passer by
Asks me to pose
For a picture
To be a feature
In the paper

In my raggedy jeans
Crashing a party
Of the cocktail kind
A piece of a pie
Instructing all to jive
I was an
Overnight sensation
Even without
The proper presentation
Dancing the night away
With a hip and a sway

In my way to a show
My face in a glow
Hoping premium seats to score
Then a let down
All sold out
Feeling like clown
My face in a frown
Life is a bore

Sitting in the entry way
Sobbing
‘Hey lady’ I hear
Can you sing?
In my mind a ding
My heart is throbbing
Without remorse
I join the chorus
Singing my heart out
Without a doubt
The best night
Of my entire life
Despite the lack
Of several facts
I can’t dance, act or even sing

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