Road Rage

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“If I put the pedal to the metal I might get there on time”

Road Rage

Friday morning, last work day of the week, tried to avoid the morning rush hour at any cost.

I left earlier than usual and reached the interstate only to realize every other person and their friend had had the same idea.

I was cursing (and shouting) out loud in the car at ‘all the idiots’ hogging the lanes. Divided into two kinds of drivers; the first ones driving no faster than the speed limit, the others cris crossing from lane to lane, speeding then slowing down and speeding up again.

Myself of course being the only driver there, following all the traffic rules and driving in the best possible manner, felt allowed to chastise all the others.

I myself try to pick one lane and stick with it. I like to drive fast, so I usually choose the fastest lane, keep a few car lengths in reserve and get to my destination on time. But, for some reason the overtaking lane was filled with ‘Sunday drivers’ who were in absolutely no hurry getting anywhere particular, but they liked to drive along this lane annoying everyone else.

I have also noticed turning to a side road can be a very difficult maneuver: Starting to slow the car down a half a kilometer before the turn is ahead, leaving the others behind you wonder what is wrong. Do not bother with the turn signal, the other drivers can read your mind and know exactly what you are doing. If they don’t have ESP, shock them by turning the signaling on a few seconds before you actually turn, giving (hopefully) enough time for the drivers behind you to brake!

There is a select group of drivers, who call themselves motorcyclists. Trying to survive your fellow car driving humans is one thing, but another thing is dodging those silvery bullets passing your car in a speed of light blur from only inches away. Driving in the middle in “no-lane” and stopping for no man! I myself am more of a scooter person, driving the grandma version, pink of course, slowly and enjoying the sound of the birds singing.

A recap of how most drivers “read” in to what the usage of the traffic lights means:

* Green: The phone is ringing, stop the car to take the call and for what ever reason, do not look at the rear view mirror!
* Yellow: Accelerate, the light is almost red now, you need to reach the intersection RIGHT NOW!
* Red means GO GO GO!!

“Get off your mobile, keep your eyes on the road and put the pedal to the metal!”

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Four Wheel Drives and Shopping Bags

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“You need to put the pedal to the metal and shift gears as low as you can in an uphill situation”

Four Wheel Drives and Shopping Bags

I have wondered for a while where people who drive massive four-wheel drives live. Is it a rural forestry area, were they would need a tractor like vehicle just to get to the main road? Or maybe they are sidelining as farmers and the car has a double function as a plow or other form of device needed on a big estate?

I myself drive a small car, even though it has four wheels. In comparison it is really a minor league moving vehicle compared to some of the “muscle cars” increasingly occupying the traffic.

I prefer a car that is low on gas, maintenance and at most times, easy to find parking space for. Sometimes referred to as “a shopping bag”, but I have no idea why, since most times you can only fit two bags in the boot at best.

There is hardly any elbow room for trying to shift gears when you are driving stick if there is a passenger sitting next to you. And if you manage to put on few pounds, then good luck trying to fit in your seat in the first place. Definitely not the best mode of transportation for any larger number of family or any larger pet than a Chihuahua.

You also need to watch out if driving in windy weather: Compared to a massive four wheel drive, the shopping bag has difficulties keeping it’s wheels on the road! Basically anytime driving over 80 kilometers per hour, the little car will start shaking like it was on the dance floor. And you start feeling your knuckles getting white while gripping the steering wheel as hard as you can.

When driving up hill, your little car usually starts with hiccups and coughing until it finally freezes if you forgot to shift the gear to lowest possible and did not remember to stomp the gas pedal as hard as you could.

Parking should be easy for a tiny car especially when up against the big muscular cars. But sometimes trying to fit in a space between two big cars parked over the allotted space can be a tricky maneuver. After a few adjustments and back and forth motions you finally manage to get into the spot without any damage. The next step is to wiggle yourself out of the car through the small crack between the slightly opened door and the car itself, pushing and pulling and squeezing your body, until you are finally out! After the acrobatic maneuver like that, you can cancel going to the gym for the day.

The lesson learned here is quite simple: “Take a bus!”

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Coffee, Coffee, Coffee, and some more Coffee…

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“There really is no life before the first pot of coffee in the morning”

 

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee and some more Coffee…

Since the dawn of time when humans first dropped down from the trees and started walking, their first trip must have been to the closest Starbucks for some coffee.

Remember the classic film “2001: A Space Odyssey” and first scene where the prehistoric man is bewildered when a big black block lands before him? What if instead of the monolith a giant cup of coffee would have landed? I think we would have evolved much faster and would be more advanced today if that would have been the case 😉

But let’s move forward in time and to present day.

I have dropped in a quite a few suggestions (read request) in our office “suggestion box“: Add to the list of necessary office supplies an IV drop filled with coffee. Each worker would then be hooked into the IV every morning and during the day; a dedicated person would circulate around the office and re-fill the empty ones.

But seriously, coffee is the one good drug that keeps this world up and running. Here is an example of an ordinary working day:

1st cup: 06.00 AM: Eyes barely open reaching for my glasses on the night stand sniffing for that precious aroma. Nothing yet! Half running downstairs praying the automated coffee maker has not suffered from any kind of electrical stroke during the night and my coffee would be there waiting for me.

It is! Hallelujah let the day begin!

2nd cup: 06.20 AM: Morning ablutions behind me, standing fully clothed ready to take off to work, gulping the second cup of coffee while reaching for the door.

3rd cup: 07.00 AM: In the office, turning on the coffee machine before even reaching for the lights in the darkened office. Impatiently waiting while the machine is making its morning sounds before I can insert my coffee capsule into the damned thing and get my coffee (Note: It’s a double shot just to make sure I don’t run out before I can tackle today’s pile of work).

4th to 6th cup: 08.00 to 11.00 AM: A steady flow of “double shots” for each cup to keep up the pace of the day and a smile on my face.

7th cup: 11.30 AM: A cup of coffee to complement a tasty lunch, of course 😉

8th to 9th cup: 12.00 PM to 02.00 PM: One for each scheduled meeting for the afternoon.

10th (to 11th) cup: 02.15 PM: It is finally time for the afternoon coffee break! (In reality this is a very large cup so guess it counts for two or more…).

12th cup: 03.00 PM: Last squeeze (and cup of coffee) before the day’s work is done!

13th cup: 04.00 PM: Time to leave for home, one more for the road…

14th to Umpteenth cup: 05.00 PM to Midnight: After a full day of work, I managed a full hour of exercise, went grocery shopping and vacuumed the whole house. Albeit I was so perked up from all the coffee I managed to get to bed early (around 2 AM) after cleaning a few closets and taking the dog out three times during the evening for a brisk walk and of course, having a cup of coffee here and there; P

The lesson learned: There is no such thing as too much coffee!

 

By the way, last time I had my yearly check up at the doctors, the conclusion was: there was far too much blood in my caffeine circulation!

 

coffee

A quick trip to the supermarket

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“All the well laid plans”

A quick trip to the supermarket

I had planned to do my shopping for the week and finish working early to avoid the rush hour. Unfortunately my boss had other ideas: A rush job, which needed to be done urgently, today.

So, I changed my plans and stayed late. Guess my boss was the one with the bigger plan this time.

When I finally managed to sneak out, I got into my car and drove into the street. I had arrived just in time for the traffic jam! An endless sea of cars back to back with no way in or out from the roundabout. Well, I did not get to go to the carnival last time they were in town, so guess I could enjoy myself in a merry-go-round for a while, listening to my favourite tunes on the radio.

After a while the traffic had hardly moved an inch since I joined and the music station was more talk than tunes. Guess the radio station had the bigger plan this time.

I finally arrived at the supermarket after driving in a back-to-back traffic for much longer than I had planned to and was running late.

Now it was time for plan B: Park the car, get in and out from the store as quickly as possible and shop only what was on my well planned shopping list!

There were a few hick-ups in that plan: The car park was jammed and after circling it for the third or fourth time, I managed to get in time to queue in to a spot when another car was leaving. Secondly, all the shopping trolleys were in use.

While looking around I managed to find one standing there all by its lonesome. I soon found out why: When I pushed the trolley trying to move it to the right, the trolley went the opposite direction. Lastly, I had forgotten the well-planned shopping list on the kitchen table while leaving to work in a hurry when a well-planned morning had failed due to an unplanned phone call.

Well laid plans and all…

I finally got inside the store and was now moving towards the section where they sold the “home made cooking” type meals. I could already taste a well-grilled chicken in my mouth and made plans in my head on how to accessorize the dish. When it was my turn at the counter, and with a big grin made a request to purchase the chicken, there was nothing left but pork.

And so it was time for plan C: Go to the frozen food section and choose a chicken pizza.

After shopping was done and I had maneuvered my way out through the crowds of shoppers with my rickety trolley I finally reached the cash register. The customer before me put something on the conveyor belt that immediately caught my eye: ‘Closed, please move on to the next available register‘.

And then it was time for plan D. I moved to another register at the end of a very long line.

I was finally done with my shopping and heading towards the escalator on my way down to the parking lot. When I reached it, I noticed people pushing and pulling, some even lifting their trolleys. The reason was soon revealed to me, the escalator had stopped working and people were jammed in it and trying their hardest to get forward on the sticky non-moving machine.

So it was time for plan E: Take the lift.

After queuing for a lift ride for much longer than anticipated, I finally managed to get to my car, drive home and eat my frozen pizza. Did not enjoy it as much as I would have a well-cooked meal, but I was well-fed and ready to start planning my next day.

The lesson learned here is, you don’t always have to have a plan or be prepared for every situation. Live a little and remember that sometimes it’s good to just go with the flow.

As for myself, I still keep making my everyday plans!

Let the rantings begin!

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Let the rantings begin!

The old adage ‘Life is something, that happens when you are busy making other plans’ applies in most situations. Whether it is something you planned for the day or a bigger plan like your career from the time you finished school and started work life, the one thing you can be sure of is that nothing will go exactly the way you planned.

Rather than dwelling on the bigger plan, I would like to share some of the day-to-day experiences and how the adage ‘Well begun is half done’ does not always add up!

Sometimes something as simple as buying groceries may end up being a little more than you bargained for…