A Christmas Tale: Can I have some Figgy Puddin’, please!

Holiday celebration (Christmas season)

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” Charles Dickens

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A Christmas Tale: Can I have some Figgy Puddin’, please!

The year was 1845. I was about ten years of age and working as a stable girl. Our family lived and worked in Lord Hamilton’s manor house. It was Christmas time and as a gift for the servants, the Lord arranged a feast for the staff and their families.

Mommy had the children dressed in their Sunday best. My two brothers were complaining about the stiffness of the shirts. Starch was itchy and could cause rash, especially if one scratched the itch.
I had my favourite dress on and my younger sister was a bit jealous of the red and green colouring. She was wearing a plain blue coloured hand me down.

After all the fuzz and hassle with the wardrobe, the whole family was finally set to go to the main house and start with the Christmas dinner. Us servants would be dining in the large kitchen. Several long tables were brought in with extra seats as well. This wasn’t a large household. With around fifteen servants and their families, well not all had children and spouses, all in all around sixty people in total crammed around the tables. The two cooks had had their hands full with the preparations and naturally every one that could had chipped in.

But now it was time for celebration. Everyone was finally sitting down and getting quiet. After grace the noise level rose again. Food containers were passed around and everyone was filling their respective plates. After all, it wasn’t often we got to eat in this manner and variety.

After a while, everyone had cleared their plates and it was time for dessert. My favourite was the Figgy Pudding. If possible I opted for seconds. As I got my plate of the delicious substance before me, I licked my lips and dug into it with gusto. It did not take too long for the food to disappear from my plate.

My mom looked at me with a smirk. I looked back at her and passing my bowl I asked: “Is there any Figgy Puddin’ left?”

I was smiling widely, feeling exhilarated, when the bowl was passed back to me with an other helping.

When the final bits were eaten, it was time for the traditional sing along. The farmhand brought out his accordion and after the first few tunes, we all joined in. The evening was spent singing, chatting and finally picking up the tables. We all went back to our dwellings, thanking the Lord for the special meal.

Merry Pudding and God bless us everyone!

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Black Friday Finland Style (Repost for Quote A Week Tuesday)

Posted in the Fabulous Friday series: “Black Friday Finland Style”
Humour, Dialogue, Poetry
In honour of the month of November

finland joke

“I hope your Black Friday injuries aren’t so severe that you can’t click a mouse on Cyber Monday.”

Black Friday Finland Style

darkness-2

“Bright light, bright light!”

“Oh my God, what is that?”

“Holy hell, is it a flying saucer?”

The masses had come out from their homes and workplaces staring and pointing up at the unidentified bright light high up in the sky. Some rumours had circulated, stating Finland had fallen under attack by UFOs.

In the corner of the street, a lonesome believer was preaching:

“The end of the world as we know it, is upon us!”
That day, was the first day of the month March.
Several months earlier

It was the beginning of October. The land had fallen under darkness. As if an evil warlock had cast a spell. Sour faces all around, no expressions, as if away blurred. Hardly any sound could be heard. People on the streets, dragging their feet. The lust for life, all sucked out.
First of March

An unidentified source of light had appeared in the skies.

“The sun”, someone said, as the onlookers stood before her, bewildered.

“It is called the sun” she stated again with a smile.

But the other just shook their heads in disbelief.

Still, turning their collective faces towards “the sun”. And, as by a wave of a magic wand, the crowd closed their eyes in unison and enjoyed that sacred moment. A collective sigh of content was the only sound heard.

For who knew, how long this would last…

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light-1

light-2

Black Friday Finland Style

Posted in the Fabulous Friday series: “Black Friday Finland Style”
Humour, Dialogue, Poetry
In honour of the month of November

finland joke

“I hope your Black Friday injuries aren’t so severe that you can’t click a mouse on Cyber Monday.”

Black Friday Finland Style

darkness-2

 

“Bright light, bright light!”

“Oh my God, what is that?”

“Holy hell, is it a flying saucer?”

The masses had come out from their homes and workplaces staring and pointing up at the unidentified bright light high up in the sky. Some rumours had circulated, stating Finland had fallen under attack by UFOs.

In the corner of the street, a lonesome believer was preaching:

“The end of the world as we know it, is upon us!”
That day, was the first day of the month March.
Several months earlier

It was the beginning of October. The land had fallen under darkness. As if an evil warlock had cast a spell. Sour faces all around, no expressions, as if away blurred. Hardly any sound could be heard. People on the streets, dragging their feet. The lust for life, all sucked out.
First of March

An unidentified source of light had appeared in the skies.

“The sun”, someone said, as the onlookers stood before her, bewildered.

“It is called the sun” she stated again with a smile.

But the other just shook their heads in disbelief.

Still, turning their collective faces towards “the sun”. And, as by a wave of a magic wand, the crowd closed their eyes in unison and enjoyed that sacred moment. A collective sigh of content was the only sound heard.

For who knew, how long this would last…

darkness-1    darkness    darkness-3

darkness-4

light-1

light-2

Mistrust is such an Ugly Word

enemies close

“Trust dies but mistrust blossoms” Sophocles

Mistrust is such an Ugly Word

My poor little mistrusting thing
Think ,what joy a friend may bring
Together sharing your precious blings
Laughing when playing in the swing

Trust is a difficult thing
You say quicker than the clock could ding
I am afraid of the sting
Even if it means alone I would sing

Your world may not always be on a string
And you may not always be the king
But if you want that bell to ring
Spread out far your wings
And in the chorus you may sing

trust

Star Trek Wars (Repost for Writing 101)

“Resistance is futile” The Borg

Star Trek Wars

We had finally arrived at the annual Star Trek convention. Our little gang of geeks, all dressed up in their favourite character’s uniforms. Myself as Mr Spock of course, the half human, half Vulcan science officer from the original Star Trek show.

Some of us had been eagerly been awaiting to hit the shopping booths to find new collectibles for their already vast collections. We were scanning the area for familiar faces and hoping to hook up with some of our friends while here.

“Don’t venture too far!” I ordered the others, “The panel is about to begin in two hours and we want front row seats!” I shouted after my team who had already made their ways around the surrounding shopping area.

The one portraying the Captain’s character was far too reckless, not to mention air headed, to lead anyone, let alone herself. So for now, despite the fact of being the first officer in rank, the dubious task of leadership of this ragtag crew had fallen onto me.

I noticed some of our friends a little further and waved at them. They were dressed as Klingons and during the conventions, they were always in full character, speaking nothing but Klingon. Luckily I had mastered the language myself. Let’s just say the conversation with them was, interesting, at best.

***

It was nearly time for the first panel of the day, guest starring one of my favourite actors, William Shatner. Due to my diligence, we had managed to get the front row seats and were now eagerly awaiting for the mighty Shatner to arrive. My crew and I had a few questions for him and if luck would serve us, we would get the opportunity to present them for him.

“Oh. My. God!” ‘Uhura’ was over excited when she joined us finally.

“What?” I asked her.

“You will never guess what I just heard at the juice bar?” She continued.

“Spit it out already!” I was getting anxious.

“Well, the word out there is, that there is a heard of Star Wars fans dressed in Stormtroopers uniforms coming to the convention.” Uhura told us.

“This convention? Our convention? The STAR TREK convention?!” For a Vulcan, my pitch was overly high and my emotions up the roof.

“Yeah and they are led by none other than Darth Vader himself!” She added knowingly.

“When is this supposed to happen?” I asked her, hoping she had better intel than just rumours or gossip.

“Not sure, but I heard this from a reliable source!” She ensured me.

“I need details people! Go and get some proper intel, we still have thirty minutes to go!” I was ordering my crew, who were looking at me like I had lost it, but did as I told them anyway.

After they had left I sat down in defeat and said to myself, “I cannot work like this!” holding my head in my hands feeling a massive migraine coming on.

A little later they returned and confirmed what Uhura had told earlier. The general consensus was, that a group of Star Wars fans were about to invade the convention, but as to when was still uncertain.
We all agreed to keep our eyes and ears open. But for now, concentrate on more urgent matters, such as the panel led by William Shatner.

***

Some fifteen minutes into the panel, where the boring questions were done with, the fans were gearing up for more interesting topics and our turn was coming up soon, it happened.

A character dressed in a black uniform, complete with a cape and helmet and accompanied by roughly twenty odd people dressed in all white plastic uniforms, charged in front.

“Vader!” I stood up from my seat and pounced to the direction where the perpetrators had made their stance.

“Die Trekkies, die!” Darth Vader breathed through his mask and was ready to charge.

“We prefer Trekkers!” I shouted as I charged towards the enemy with full force, my crew not far behind and the other conventionalists joining.

“What ever!” Vader shouted back.

A wrestling match of sorts started, each side showing and pushing each other.

One of the troopers had charged to the stage and managed to bump into Mr Shatner, before he had been able to escape the competitive fan uprising. Our crew was the first to respond to the distress and our resident crew member, the Doctor reached Mr Shatner first. Shatner was laying on the floor, holding his head. The Doctor checked his pulse, then looked at us and back at Shatner again and said:

“You’re dead Jim!”

Mr Shatner looked at him and rolled his eyes: “Right!” Was all he told the smirking ‘Doctor’.

“Are you alright Mr Shatner?” I asked concerned.

“I will be, as soon as I get out from this,” He was waving towards the crowd, “Madness!”

After helping Shatner up and guiding him towards the exit, I and the Doctor joined the rest of our crew, returning to the battle field.

Today is a good day to die!” One of the troopers shouted.

“Hey, that line is from our franchise!” The Doctor from our group responded.

“Yeah! Get your own lines!” Another Trekker added.

And with our faux phasers and light sabers, the Trekkers and the Star Wars fans continued their age long battle, to the proverbial death!

***

Later, sitting confined in one of the empty conference halls, after getting arrested, the bulk of the fans on either side, some three hundred of us in total. No one was saying much. I was also regretting loosing myself and my Vulcan ways engaging in battle rather than trying to solve the issue with logic and peaceful negotiation.

Guess the lesson learnt here is, no matter the franchise or belief, there is always room for all kinds of fandoms and each of us should respect each others’ choices.

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Can Do Attitude (Repost for TBT)

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“Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” Ira and George Gershwin

Can Do Attitude

(This one is a must sing ;P)

You say neither, I say either
You say potato, I say tomato

Potato, tomato
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say sell, I say buy
You say it can’t be done
I say it will be fun

Oranges, apples
What the hell happened?
They don’t rhyme
I don’t mind
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say I’m boring
I say you snoring
You say it’s very bad
I say don’t be sad

Boring, snoring
“What the hell happened to this, song(?)?”
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say it’s a fake
I say a piece of cake
You say you’re such a jerk
I say it will work

Jerk, work
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say I’m obsessive
I say I’m positive
You prefer negative
I say my glass is full

“What?
You keep loosing the rhyme!”

“Oh, don’t be such a bore!”

“No, I’m just sore,
Because you keep singing off key!”

“Oh, please,
You are even worse, and don’t try to flee!”

Worse, off key
Let’s call the whole thing off

“OK, so let’s try this again one more time?”

“Fine! And this time make it rhyme!”

You say I like it plain
I say you aren’t quite sane
You say It’s not so simple
I say smile and get a dimple

Simple, dimple,
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say I’m going home
I say you don’t like it alone
You say let’s end this song
I say play the gong!

Song, gong
Let’s call the whole thing off

“So what now?
You’re just going to quit?”

“Yeah, that is the idea in ‘going home’, as in leaving!”

“So then, we must part?”

“Oh don’t me smart, have a heart!”

“Maybe try one more time, my way?”

“Like the song title or the highway?”

“No, with the positive attitude!”

“Without the platitude?”

“Fine?”

“Wine?”

*Snort!*

You say I like it here
I say I like everywhere
You say maybe we can
I say let’s can can!

Can, can, yes we can
Let’s call the calling off, off
Now!

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Gun Roswell in Numbers (Writing 101, 2)

Free flow/Poetry/Dialogue mix
&
Writing 101, Day Two: Write a list

“Today, let’s write a list. Compiling a list is a way to let loose, unlock ideas, and free your mind”

Today, write your own list on one of these topics:

* Things I Like
* Things I’ve Learned
* Things I Wish

If you want to tackle a different genre:

* Fiction: Your character discovers a piece of paper, with a list on it, on the ground. What happens next?

* Poetry: Incorporate numbers into a poem, or focus your poem on things you like, wish for, or have learned.

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“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed” Ernest Hemingway

Gun Roswell in Numbers (Writing 101, 2)

Let’s do some simple arithmetic
To get this show started

When?

I was born in nineteen hundred and sixty-five (1965)
That would make me a total of five and zero (50)
Surely that is worth some kind of high five (your hand held high and clashing with someone else’s hand)
After all I may not be a super hero (is there a number for that?)
But certainly some kind of artist, but hardly a Miro

Oh, yeah, I wrote that in rhyme!
Hope you don’t mind?

Personally

My slender shoe size is forty-two (42)
In other languages that means eight (8) for the United Kingdom
And ten (10) for the United States
Basically that means I can use my shoes
For walking, running and as skis
All in one package kind of deal with a freedom
To do what ever, when ever, whom ever (oops! scratch the last one!)
Of course I still need a pair of … skates

My waist size?

Well let’s not go there this time (there really is no measurable number)
Just kidding: I *do* have big bones!
Something something measured in stones (oh, wait, that’s weight: never mind!)

Got a full chest of ninety five (95DD) double dee
Yeah, really! Nothing new here to see!

On my high heels standing tall at a hundred and seventy-one (171)
That is metric and loosely translates as five point six feet (5.6)
I can easily steal the spot in the sun
Especially when I am wearing my high heels

Creatively I have been a

Photographer since I was ten (10)
Subtracted from fifty (50) that means a total of forty (40) years
During that time, I have managed to snap pics of the Eiffel Tower and Big Ben
– Imagine that!
Maybe time to shift to some new gears?

I started writing at the ripe old age of five (5)
Subtracted from fifty (50) that means a total of forty-five (45) years

So sue me: There are too many fives and I am having a difficulty of finding rhymes!

Professionally

I had a lot of fun in customer service for sixteen (16) years
– Oh.My.God. Seriously? That is a reason for a few beers!
And lately, for the past twenty (20) odd years in the world of IT
– Yeah, you really think you are so clever and mighty? (don’t ya!)

Contact details

I live in the flat number 3 A 1 (that’s some kind of hexadecimal code, right?)
My postal code is 02650 (Total of 13, ah, the magical number!)
And you can call me at extension 566 4574 (note the 7 and 4: vice versa that makes 47)
I may answer your call or then again I might not

– Hey, this last one did not rhyme!
So?
– You promised rhyme, in the beginning, remember?
Did not!
– Did too!
Na-ah!

(angry staring contest continues, but this tale ends right here.)

-> OK, so this may not be a resume, just some shameless self promotion, that’s all!

gun

Related posts:
Forty-Seven 

SL WEEK 15: Communications; Lesson in Water Guns

Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of communications
“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something” Plato

SL WEEK 15: Communications; Lesson in Water Guns

“So listen carefully, because I shall say this only once”

Others nodding in unison.

“This is the safety, once you pull it back, you can shoot.”

Everyone staring in awe and with a bewildered look on their faces.

“You know what a safety is?”

“Um…” “Um” “No?”

“OK, I will show you one more time. Now watch and listen carefully!”

watergun

SL WEEK 15: Communications; Hot Gossip

Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of communications

comms1

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place” George Bernard Shaw

SL WEEK 15: Communications; Hot Gossip

“Say what?”
“I was asking did you hear about Toddy?”
“What about Toddy?”
“I said Toddy got his back burnt badly and was taken to the hospital.”
“Oh, too much sun?”
“Sun?”
“Yes, sun. From laying on the beach?”
“No, I heard it was a cooking accident.”
“Cooking?”
“Yeah, apparently his sausages overboild!”

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Can Do Attitude

Gun Roswell's avatarRantings Of A Third Kind

“Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” Ira and George Gershwin

Can Do Attitude

(This one is a must sing ;P)

You say neither, I say either
You say potato, I say tomato

Potato, tomato
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say sell, I say buy
You say it can’t be done
I say it will be fun

Oranges, apples
What the hell happened?
They don’t rhyme
I don’t mind
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say I’m boring
I say you snoring
You say it’s very bad
I say don’t be sad

Boring, snoring
“What the hell happened to this, song(?)?”
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say it’s a fake
I say a piece of cake
You say you’re such a jerk
I say it will work

Jerk, work
Let’s call the whole thing off

You say I’m obsessive
I say I’m positive
You prefer negative

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