Good God Get a Grip Girl!

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“No tea, no shade honey!” RuPaul’s Drag Race

Good God Get a Grip Girl!

You may
Think
You’re the
Cat’s meow
But let’s see
How you
Really feel
After I
Tell you
About
What you
Actually are

I’m not
Trying to
Come for you
Offend you
Upset you
Or even
Resent you
In any way

But this is
What it is
How it is
Really like

Why
Don’t you
Give yourself
A really good
Look in
The mirror
And tell me
Can you
Get a grip
On it!

ggggg

Ode to Darth Raydor

“May the force be with you”

Ode to Darth Raydor

It is
A no-brainer
That

Sharon Raydor

Is
A crusader
A trader
A saviour
Even
An entertainer

In a
Major
Crime

No failures
Will she
Tolerate
Try not to
Frustrate
Or irritate
She won’t
Hesitate
To throw you
In the brig

If she won’t
Get her way
There will be
Hell to pay

Still sassy
Quite classy
Stiletto heels
To many
Appeals

Her motto
In legato
Always is
With a bliss

I must go
First

raydor

Having My Cake and Eating It Too

“Don’t be a bitter Bitch!
Just make them EAT IT, HONEY!”
Latrice Royale

Having My Cake and Eating It Too

Having my cake
And eating it too
May be
A catch twenty-two

Having it both ways
Without any pays
Looking for clues
Paying my dues

Powerless against sacrifice
Not willing to compromise
Finding ways to circumvent
Avoiding getting dents

Still my cake is crumbling down
Falling into little pieces
Not worth even half a crown
Soon enough ceases
To exist
Vaporizing into mist

Who ever finds the recipe
To uncover this mystery
Please feel free
To share it with me

cupcake

Highly Illogical

“It is curious how often humans manage to obtain that which they do not want” Mr Spock

Highly Illogical

I find You

Absolutely fascinating
Extremely interesting
Utterly charming
Highly intriguing
Totally captivating

I am

Spellbound and transfixed
By all certainty, bewitched

Wrapped around Your little finger
If I could, I would linger

I am only

Admiring You
From a distance
Still with persistence
But slightly askew

If

An instance
Would arise
It would be
My greatest price

Up close and personally
Give my thanks, my gratitude most cordially

Yet

I find myself

Highly illogical

highly

I’m not getting old, I am getting better

better

“Old is always fifteen years from now” Bill Cosby

I’m not getting old, I am getting better

I am becoming a classic

Like the fine wine
For a special occasion to dine
Like the little red Corvette
You always wanted as a pet

I am
much better
more wiser
and even smarter
Than ever

Extraordinary woman
Exemplary human
Remarkable personality
Striking beauty

If you challenge me
I will compete with thee
Reach the finish line
Before you have the time
To Say
Wait for me!

Many things I have accomplished
Some of them without compliments
Many more still to come
Before I am done

What’s up next
You ask
Without being hexed
I would like the task
Ruler of the World naturally to follow
But not today,
Maybe tomorrow

4queens-bw

Star Trek Wars

“Resistance is futile” The Borg

Star Trek Wars

We had finally arrived at the annual Star Trek convention. Our little gang of geeks, all dressed up in their favourite character’s uniforms. Myself as Mr Spock of course, the half human, half Vulcan science officer from the original Star Trek show.

Some of us had been eagerly been awaiting to hit the shopping booths to find new collectibles for their already vast collections. We were scanning the area for familiar faces and hoping to hook up with some of our friends while here.

“Don’t venture too far!” I ordered the others, “The panel is about to begin in two hours and we want front row seats!” I shouted after my team who had already made their ways around the surrounding shopping area.

The one portraying the Captain’s character was far too reckless, not to mention air headed, to lead anyone, let alone herself. So for now, despite the fact of being the first officer in rank, the dubious task of leadership of this ragtag crew had fallen onto me.

I noticed some of our friends a little further and waved at them. They were dressed as Klingons and during the conventions, they were always in full character, speaking nothing but Klingon. Luckily I had mastered the language myself. Let’s just say the conversation with them was, interesting, at best.

***

It was nearly time for the first panel of the day, guest starring one of my favourite actors, William Shatner. Due to my diligence, we had managed to get the front row seats and were now eagerly awaiting for the mighty Shatner to arrive. My crew and I had a few questions for him and if luck would serve us, we would get the opportunity to present them for him.

“Oh. My. God!” ‘Uhura’ was over excited when she joined us finally.

“What?” I asked her.

“You will never guess what I just heard at the juice bar?” She continued.

“Spit it out already!” I was getting anxious.

“Well, the word out there is, that there is a heard of Star Wars fans dressed in Stormtroopers uniforms coming to the convention.” Uhura told us.

“This convention? Our convention? The STAR TREK convention?!” For a Vulcan, my pitch was overly high and my emotions up the roof.

“Yeah and they are led by none other than Darth Vader himself!” She added knowingly.

“When is this supposed to happen?” I asked her, hoping she had better intel than just rumours or gossip.

“Not sure, but I heard this from a reliable source!” She ensured me.

“I need details people! Go and get some proper intel, we still have thirty minutes to go!” I was ordering my crew, who were looking at me like I had lost it, but did as I told them anyway.

After they had left I sat down in defeat and said to myself, “I cannot work like this!” holding my head in my hands feeling a massive migraine coming on.

A little later they returned and confirmed what Uhura had told earlier. The general consensus was, that a group of Star Wars fans were about to invade the convention, but as to when was still uncertain.
We all agreed to keep our eyes and ears open. But for now, concentrate on more urgent matters, such as the panel led by William Shatner.

***

Some fifteen minutes into the panel, where the boring questions were done with, the fans were gearing up for more interesting topics and our turn was coming up soon, it happened.

A character dressed in a black uniform, complete with a cape and helmet and accompanied by roughly twenty odd people dressed in all white plastic uniforms, charged in front.

“Vader!” I stood up from my seat and pounced to the direction where the perpetrators had made their stance.

“Die Trekkies, die!” Darth Vader breathed through his mask and was ready to charge.

“We prefer Trekkers!” I shouted as I charged towards the enemy with full force, my crew not far behind and the other conventionalists joining.

“What ever!” Vader shouted back.

A wrestling match of sorts started, each side showing and pushing each other.

One of the troopers had charged to the stage and managed to bump into Mr Shatner, before he had been able to escape the competitive fan uprising. Our crew was the first to respond to the distress and our resident crew member, the Doctor reached Mr Shatner first. Shatner was laying on the floor, holding his head. The Doctor checked his pulse, then looked at us and back at Shatner again and said:

“You’re dead Jim!”

Mr Shatner looked at him and rolled his eyes: “Right!” Was all he told the smirking ‘Doctor’.

“Are you alright Mr Shatner?” I asked concerned.

“I will be, as soon as I get out from this,” He was waving towards the crowd, “Madness!”

After helping Shatner up and guiding him towards the exit, I and the Doctor joined the rest of our crew, returning to the battle field.

Today is a good day to die!” One of the troopers shouted.

“Hey, that line is from our franchise!” The Doctor from our group responded.

“Yeah! Get your own lines!” Another Trekker added.

And with our faux phasers and light sabers, the Trekkers and the Star Wars fans continued their age long battle, to the proverbial death!

***

Later, sitting confined in one of the empty conference halls, after getting arrested, the bulk of the fans on either side, some three hundred of us in total. No one was saying much. I was also regretting loosing myself and my Vulcan ways engaging in battle rather than trying to solve the issue with logic and peaceful negotiation.

Guess the lesson learnt here is, no matter the franchise or belief, there is always room for all kinds of fandoms and each of us should respect each others’ choices.

trek wars

To Whom It May Concern

“There’s a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called ‘fan fiction’” Joss Whedon

To Whom It May Concern

My Dearest Television Show,

I am writing to you in hopes of conveying an important message to you and whomever it may concern.

We are a small group of elderly women who gather once a week around the television set to watch our favourite program and then afterwards analyze the events with a shot or few of our favourite brew. Guess you could call us Fan Girls, even though most of us have passed the age of eighty. We each have our favourite characters and root for them while watching. Some of us even dared to venture out into the World Wide Web and sent out a few notes to the actors playing the roles. I believe they are called twats or something or other.

But I digress.

Although we appreciate all the effort you put into your craft and accurately so, take pride in the quality of your work. Unfortunately lately the direction the show has taken, is stirring a little trouble in our small group. Most of us agree there is trouble ahead, apart from Helga, who loves the idea of romance at a later age. The rest of us, however, are of the opinion, she should go watch a day time soap opera if she has the hunger for romantic liaisons. After all, this is a crime story, not a daytime drama.

As I mentioned earlier, we are analyzing each show to the extent and we have noticed the changes implemented for the major characters. Strong characters and believable storylines were the reason our little knitting group started watching in the first place. As women and kind of feminists, strong female leads got us hooked right from the start.

Please take this advice from someone who has reached the ripe old age of eighty five:

In real life people do not change, not to a degree of one hundred and eighty degrees, abandoning their basic personality traits and beliefs. A strong woman does not always need a love interest to survive the wilderness that is out there. Trust me, I have lived by myself for the past fifty years and am managing excellently and enjoying my life to the fullest surrounding myself with family and friends. And of course, my favourite past time, watching your delightful show.

Now, we all know this is just a fictional storytelling on the tube, but, still it remains a big part of our lives, and we want to be invested in the process.

Yours Sincerely,

Margaret Watson and Friends

Ode to Hillary

“I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas” Hillary Clinton

Ode to Hillary

Having the community’s best at heart
Showing off as smart
Making sure no one left behind
Is nothing but kind

Women’s rights
Gay rights
Equal rights
Everyone’s rights

You may have made a few snafus
But then again, we all do
Still,
I would vote for you

A Woman’s place is on the bridge
Not serving milk from the fridge

Madame President
No better resident
for the White House

“Sure it’s a big job
but I don’t know anyone who can do it better”

HRC

A Wanna-be Drag Queen

“I Look Fuckin’ Cool” – Adore Delano & Alaska Thunderfuck

A Wanna-be Drag Queen

There is just something
to be said
About a man
in a dress
Not one hair
in a mess
Everyone staring
at big earrings

A Sculpted body
and lean legs
The woman embodies
A honey trap?
but into the spiders webs

Sickening
Gorgeous
Bickering
Flawless
Fabulous
Marvelous

Out of this world
Down the runway they swirled
Looking fucking cool
All we do is drool

You better work
With your lips in a smirk
It’s just a quirk
Don’t let it irk

I may be a woman
Must come clean
Maybe an omen
But I’m a wanna-be drag queen

“It’s not personal, It’s just drag” – Alyssa Edwards

drag

Homage to Spock AKA Leonard Nimoy

“Live long and prosper” – Spock AKA Leonard Nimoy

Homage to Spock AKA Leonard Nimoy

“It’s only a television show”
– Maybe so, but it got me through the best of times and surely through the worst of times

“Vulcan honours us with your presence. We come to serve”
– Mr Spock had me at hello

“Never meet your heroes”
– Maybe true, but this particular hero I will regret not meeting for the rest of my life

“These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise, Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.”
– And I will keep watching until such time they put me out to pasture.

Mr Nimoy, please reserve a room for me also in Valhalla!

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