A Jack of all trades, but a master of pun

“I know many things?” Gun Roswell 

I may know a little bit of everything

But sometimes, I am just pretending

When I get into a dark corner

And there is no kind of door there

I use humour, to dig my way out

Sometimes, I even have to shout!

The noise sprouting out of my mouth

So loud and silly, it’s just all, willy nilly

And then, I really do feel guilty

Then out pours the utter most filthy!

So guess you can say

I’m so stupid I just pretend

Play the part of the fool

Being a total tool

A Jack of no trades 

And a master, of none?

Paranoid?

“I think I just may be, a tad paranoid?”

Voices, noises

Never good with so many choices

Watching, looking, staring

Who’s in my kitchen cooking

Daemons, angels, the devil perhaps?

God, Jesus and all those things fictional

Aliens and conspiracies more so

Paradoxes, global warming 

At least that one is true!

The FBI, police forces, neighbours even

And with their cats and dogs too!

They are all watching, me!

I am, becoming, quite paranoid

Something, something, wild side?

“I have no idea?” Gun Roswell 

I have no new ideas 

My mind is completely blank

Writing this un-rhyming poem

Is the only thing of I could think

Something, something…

I guess is better than

Nothing?

But I do what I can

(Do I really?)

Scribbling on my smart phone

Trying to create the perfect poem

And simply realising I am just repeating

The one missing thing all over again

So I am stopping

Right here, right now

Before my brain is popping out

I will try to take a break

From being a writer fake?

Coffee. Nuff said.

“Did I mention, that I really love coffee?” Gun Roswell

Today, is time for, Coffee

There’s no form of life without, Coffee 

A world revolves around, Coffee

That’s it, Coffee

Life=Coffee

Nuff said, I’m outta here!

And getting some more, Coffee

I am not a perfectionist, but I always see the tiniest of flaws

“Flaw makes perfect?” Gun Roswell

A flaw here, another there!

So many flaws, I have some to share!
I’ve never been inspired to be the greatest
But neither am I among the totally flakiest

But in the years of late for sure
I have started to think of maybe, a cure?
For that nit-picking nagger, who’ll find all them flaws

Or maybe, just maybe, give it the hee-haw!?

Emergency?

“Call 911, or 112 if in Europe” Gun Roswell

“911, what’s the emergency?”

“Everything?”

“How can it be so? You must define at least one thing wrong!”

“Can’t, it’s all so bad!”

“How bad is it?”

“It’s all full of shit. Life, living, this… nothing worth a single bit!”

“But, can’t you find at least one thing? Something, that would enable you to sing?”

“No, nothing.”

“That’s really sad. Almost makes me mad!”

“Yeah, well, how do you think I feel? Is this, life, all of it, even all real?”

“Maybe, or maybe it’s just a dream?”

“Well, if I am only dreaming, then maybe, from this nightmare I can wake up, fake my way up and smile, at least for a while?”

“Sounds like a plan? Have you tried to stand?”

“I will, just now. Yep I can, I am so proud!”

“Sounds great, maybe it was not too late, just a while to hesitate?”

“Maybe, but now, I will try walking, one step, then another, I hope no more you to bother. I am on my path now, somehow, able to walk again!”

“Thank you, for the explain! Now I too, can leave this plane, help an others, onto the next level to be able to get.”

“Good luck, I will try not to fuck up… this time!”

“You too! After all, for trying, there is nothing to loose!”

End connection… “Beep, beep, beep…”

Custom made

”B*tch, please!” Gun Roswell


I was made for you to hate,
There is no need for me that further to explain
And yet, I cannot resist telling you all of this
The recipe quite simple not to exist

Add:

A little dirt, some salt, hint of water and lots of plastic,
Place them in a mould, then simply, fold
Bake it all in a really big oven, 
Hopefully, something soon starts showing

A recipe might not as refined as that, which in the end, is just fine, oh snap!

I am here for all of you to peruse,
Completely made of plastic, certainty elastic 
One in a million, but somehow unique like a billion

I may come from a top shelf
But still manage to be oh so very custom made

Deal with it 😛

Hell just might be empty, with all them nasty devils running amok on this plane of existence!

“Things, affairs , all of it, might be wrong, a lot of them are, but, giving up hope, was never an option, never part of the grand plan either. Was it?“ Gun Roswell

“It’s hell out there! Surely we had some time to spare before it was about to happen I swear!” Someone exclaimed having taken a spun around the neighbourhood, having found it no fun at all.

“Have you seen the latest news?” Another one asked confused of the times. “It’s murder and mayhem for sure and that is the awful truth!”

“I don’t leave my house anymore. Just because it’s such a chore.” The third one chimed, certainly they were not feeling so fine. “Putting all them gear on, the armour or whatnot, just to feel safe and even then you cannot be sure.”

“The kids are all home schooled now, not that its of any use. Them all hanging on their game girls and fun stations, twatting about it all on the internets of things. Such misuse of the time. All of it wasted for sure. But the lure of it all is too much to ignore.” The mum from across the street shouted from the open window, never ever daring to leave her home.

“Truly is sad all of it. In the olden days, well, everything was so much sunnier, funnier, lighter and brighter. And now, it’s all such shades of greys.” A not so old person retorted to the others, from a safe distance but of course.

“Yeah, hell has certainly arrived to our small corner of the world. Then again, what did we expect with all them devils running around in our streets. But we did invite them here didn’t we?” And with that there was no rhyme to be seen, simply a comment of how things had turned out to be.

Thinking hard?


“Thinking hard or hardly moving one thought? Brain empty, no matter, another one can be bought?” Gun Roswell

Mind in full spin-cycle

As my thoughts its trying to tackle

I feel like i am about to chuckle

But then lost in another puzzle

My brain is trying to hustle

This little Brain of Mine won’t let me sleep!


“Something certainly rattling up there… Could it be… a thought perhaps?” Gun Roswell

This, tiny, useful brain of mine
Thinks, it is, doing just fine
It keeps on going and going and going
Even though my body yearns for slowing
Down at night, well… sometimes
And some other times
Too needs, to rewind

So, I ask you nicely
Please be kind
Shut down
Every once in a while
Let me sleep
Dream real deep
And maybe a later
I will reward you with a nice state of
Quiz and debate