The Definition of God? (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“God is the most popular star in human history:
Loved, hated, or talked about by almost every person ever walked on planet Earth”

The Definition of God?

When I was a very young child, I thought God was an old, largely built man with white hair and beard, sitting on a cloud, playing his harp.

To be fair, I may also have confused God with Santa Claus, since they basically share the same appearance, apart from the red suite and reindeer.

When I was a child of school age, God was the magician who granted wishes through prayer.

Maybe I have watched too many Harry Potter movies? Rubeus Hagrid had a similar, albeit darker setup going on as the God image from my childhood.

When I was a teenager, before and during the Confirmation School, God was the guy starring in the Bible.

Or was it Charlton Heston?

When I reached maturity and got more spiritual, the definition of God started to get more blurred from a “person” to a “being” type thing.

Watching the X-Files and other alien types of “documentaries” did not help. Was God a “dude in a white beard” or some type of alien being after all?

Now in my fifties, comfortable in my own skin and being, my definition of God has definitely been clarified:

God is a very hot mature lady:
Prancing around in a sparkly red and extremely short skin tight dress. 
Wearing six inch stiletto heels.
She likes things done her way (and only her way).
Arguing with her is pointless and resistance is futile.
You are clearly aware if she is not pleased or happy.
In her spare time she drives around in a red sports car.
And, likes her drinks shaken not stirred.

PS. She may also be a drag queen.

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Welcome To Finland’s Midsummer (Repost for TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“At least there is no snow on the ground” Gun Roswell

Welcome To Finland’s Midsummer

Not creature stirred
Not even a mouse
Vision getting blurred
Or just an illusion
If you come to the conclusion
And dare to leave the house
Heed this warning
The rain come a down pouring
Soon you will be scorning
The streets empty and deserted
The barbeque outside forgotten and defeated
Shivering in ten plus degrees
Wishing you had paid the fees
Of a nice vacation abroad
But your plan was flawed
Planning on spending
The day never ending
At home in stead
Spending the Finnish carnival
An event most formidable
Even though holier than thou
Or the proverbial sacred cow
That was all but a dream
You hear yourself scream
If you’d only been so lucky
But now feeling yucky
Your midsummer
What a bummer
Surely a nightmare to remember

So what really happened:

juhannus-truth

Growing Up? (Repost TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional”

Growing Up?

Growing up?

Such a pain in the ass
Can’t I just pass?
Fifty knocking at the door
Oh what a bore
The golden middle age
The wisdom of a sage
But feeling closer to nineteen
Like the proverbial prom queen
Act your age
Usually the phrase
Leaving me wondering
Who are you mothering
I’m not a child
Even though wild

Growing up?

What’s the point
Not even a joint
Or a few
Can cheer you
If you can’t have fun
On the play ground
Beyond fifty one

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Once there was a Man (Shortest of Tales Collection)

Shortest of Tales Collection presents:

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“A short story is something that you can hold in your mind. You can really analyze how the entire thing works, like a machine” Chuck Palahniuk

Once there was a Man

Once there was a man
Who did not understand
That the greatest of plans
Was already in his hands

So he went around town
Looking for his crown
His face in a big frown
Feelings of letting down

But when he saw a beggar
With the biggest smile ever
He suddenly turned around
And his smile finally found

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Tea Time: Happy National Tea Month!

Happy National Tea Month!

Hearts’ Favorite Drink - Black Tea

“Make it so!” Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Tea Time!

Tea, hot, with a twist of lemon
Maybe enjoyed even in Bremen
The delightful aroma
Can lull you to a coma
In company or solitude
It is a prelude
To a life’s passion
A sweet sensation
When into the dark liquid dipping
Whether gulping or sipping
Enjoy the moment of pure bliss
For who could resist
Tea time

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Tea, Earl Grey, Hot: Happy National Tea Month!

Happy National Tea Month!

“Enjoy life sip by sip, not gulp by gulp” The Minister of Leaves, The Republic of Tea

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Tea, Earl Grey, Hot

Slow down
Listen
To the world
Around
Forget
That strife
Just Enjoy
Without a ploy
The simple pleasures,
Purest treasures
Of life

A cup of tea,
Plain and simple
Easy as
Your A, B, C
Soon you’ll see
A dimple
On your cheek
Will sneak

Breathe in
Breathe out
Relinquish
All doubt
Nothing to it
You can do it
Relax a while
It is no guile

Soon enough
The moment
That should have
Forever lasted
Has passed
You are back
On track

Remembering,
Hoping
The moments
Between now
And running out
To the
wide open
Would last
Longer than
A token  

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Throwback Thursday 2016-01-28

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“Just an FYI: Thursday the 12th is just as rare at Friday the 13th.”

Throwback Thursday 2016-01-28

Each Thursday we walk down memory lane and dig deeply into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind. For these posts, I have chosen some of my personal favourites. Some of them may tickle the funny bone, some even provoke thoughts and some of them will give you a view of the world in photographs taken by yours truly.

Here are a few featured today for your enjoyment today:

 
The Devil only asked for my Little Finger, but stole my Whole Hand (Repost TBT)

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Fool me Once, or a Few more Times (Repost TBT)

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I need a Different Tune to Sing to (Repost TBT)

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Let the Rantings continue!!!
tbt

Door to Door Bus Service

Posted in the Daily Incidents series
Poetry, Tale, Humour & Photography
Photo credits Google and YLE

HSL BEST BUSS SERVICE

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down” Oprah Winfrey

Door to Door Bus Service

“The story you are about to hear is true.
Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent.”

They say, Finland has one of the best public transportation networks in the world. But, who could have imagined such door to door delivery, and on a bus no less!

If it hails, rains, or storms
Just slam shut the car doors
Hike your way to the nearest bus stop
It’s easy as a skip and a hop

We are having the worst weather in Finland currently. Iced roads due to rain upon melted snow and rapid temperature rises from minus 28 degrees to + 2 degrees Celsius. This is causing what we Finns refer to as “skull weather” or in Finnish: “Pääkallokeli”. Yes, I know what you think; they have cold and snow there all year around. One could imagine they had gotten used to it and perfected the vehicles to run according. Alas no: Each year the snow “surprises” the drivers, train gears are frozen and heavy transports such as trucks and buses run amok on the roads.

Yesterday, this story on the news broke, regarding a bus hitting the wall of a building. Luckily the whole incident was managed with only a few minor injuries and some plaster off the wall!

In general us Finns are a no-nonsense no small talk people and we like to keep things on the factual level only. Our firemen are top of the line professionals and as we found out, in this case none the less so.

The reporter on site was interviewing the lead fireman, who was responding in his unique professional no-nonsense way.

The Fireman:
“We have five units on site. The injured parties have been taken to the hospital. The bus hit the building wall. The police is investigating the accident.”

The reporter:
“Who were injured?”

The fireman looking at the reporter in a “duh” way:
“The passengers.”
He then replied curtly.

End transmission.

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Blue (Poetry and Photography)

Posted in the Daily Photo series
Poetry & Photography

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“I want to die with my blue jeans on” Andy Warhol

Blue

Feelings of
Utter sadness
Out of focus
And deepest of blue

Thinking
Adjusting
Accepting
Letting go

The picture
Getting clearer
Pain slowly
Fading away

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Coffee, Coffee, Coffee, and some more Coffee…(Repost for TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday Series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“There really is no life before the first pot of coffee in the morning”

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Coffee, Coffee, Coffee and some more Coffee…

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Since the dawn of time when humans first dropped down from the trees and started walking, their first trip must have been to the closest Starbucks for some coffee.

Remember the classic film “2001: A Space Odyssey” and first scene where the prehistoric man is bewildered when a big black block lands before him? What if instead of the monolith a giant cup of coffee would have landed? I think we would have evolved much faster and would be more advanced today if that would have been the case 😉

But let’s move forward in time and to present day.

I have dropped in a quite a few suggestions (read request) in our office “suggestion box“: Add to the list of necessary office supplies an IV drop filled with coffee. Each worker would then be hooked into the IV every morning and during the day; a dedicated person would circulate around the office and re-fill the empty ones.

But seriously, coffee is the one good drug that keeps this world up and running. Here is an example of an ordinary working day:

1st cup: 06.00 AM: Eyes barely open reaching for my glasses on the night stand sniffing for that precious aroma. Nothing yet! Half running downstairs praying the automated coffee maker has not suffered from any kind of electrical stroke during the night and my coffee would be there waiting for me.

It is! Hallelujah let the day begin!

2nd cup: 06.20 AM: Morning ablutions behind me, standing fully clothed ready to take off to work, gulping the second cup of coffee while reaching for the door.

3rd cup: 07.00 AM: In the office, turning on the coffee machine before even reaching for the lights in the darkened office. Impatiently waiting while the machine is making its morning sounds before I can insert my coffee capsule into the damned thing and get my coffee (Note: It’s a double shot just to make sure I don’t run out before I can tackle today’s pile of work).

4th to 6th cup: 08.00 to 11.00 AM: A steady flow of “double shots” for each cup to keep up the pace of the day and a smile on my face.

7th cup: 11.30 AM: A cup of coffee to complement a tasty lunch, of course 😉

8th to 9th cup: 12.00 PM to 02.00 PM: One for each scheduled meeting for the afternoon.

10th (to 11th) cup: 02.15 PM: It is finally time for the afternoon coffee break! (In reality this is a very large cup so guess it counts for two or more…).

12th cup: 03.00 PM: Last squeeze (and cup of coffee) before the day’s work is done!

13th cup: 04.00 PM: Time to leave for home, one more for the road…

14th to Umpteenth cup: 05.00 PM to Midnight: After a full day of work, I managed a full hour of exercise, went grocery shopping and vacuumed the whole house. Albeit I was so perked up from all the coffee I managed to get to bed early (around 2 AM) after cleaning a few closets and taking the dog out three times during the evening for a brisk walk and of course, having a cup of coffee here and there; P

The lesson learned: There is no such thing as too much coffee!

 

By the way, last time I had my yearly check up at the doctors, the conclusion was: there was far too much blood in my caffeine circulation!

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