“Sometimes I listen to strangers’ conversation and mentally give my opinion”
Eavesdropping? No, it’s just socially investigating!
“By George we made it!” Emma shouted in victory.
“I thought we were lost there for a moment, but here we are. And all in one piece!” Marc added dusting off his jacket.
“Too bad we lost George.” Emma was feeling sorry for the poor guy.
Marc looked at Emma and with a sad voice answered: “The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few.”
“Or the one!” Emma added.
Marc hugged Emma as they were standing, both looking into the distance, thoughts on their lost comrade.
***
I was on my way to work, when I stopped by the coffee shop. Waiting for my order I glanced around the place and noticed three intriguing characters in the farthest corner table. Two men and a woman, obviously deep in conversation, planning something from the looks of how they were positioned. Huddled together, serious yet fierce expressions on their faces and looking like they were plotting something.
Being of a curious nature, interested in all human relations, I took a few steps closer, trying to catch a glimpse of what they were talking about.
“This has to go down today!” The woman said loud enough for me to hear from my position.
I was hooked. I inched even closer and secretly hoped my order would take a while to complete.
“Did you check the weapons, made sure we have enough ammo?” The other man asked from the one sitting opposite him.
“All checked boss! I also added an extra ingredient, just to spice things up! Can’t wait to see the other guys’ faces when they get hit!” He responded with a smirk on his lips.
‘Boss, hit, guns?!’
Some kind of heist or mob hit in the planning I wondered. I was shaking a little. The threesome sitting around the table did not look like robbers or mob members, rather like nerds or students. But never judge a book by it’s cover.
The woman then took something out from her bag and laid it on the table. It looked like a map of sorts.
“Are we all clear on our positions at the final stage.” She was pointing at something on the paper to the others.
“What if I change my stance here rather than here.” The other man asked the woman and the one he had called boss.
“No!” The woman raised her voice again. Clearly the other man had been wrong about who the real boss was.
She then continued, “No deviations! We will all stick to the plan as agreed before.”
The man just nodded.
“Excellent!” The woman responded, “Now as to the next…”
Her voice faded to the sounds of new customers coming in to the shop. A loud soccer team had just entered the premises and I could not hear the threesome’s conversation.
And then, my name was called out from the counter. My order was ready.
Pondering whether to ignore it and try to stay a while longer. Then again, it would look suspicious, if I would stand there with my coffee and bagels in my hand. Reluctantly I decided to leave. Maybe there was something in the newspaper tomorrow I could read about. After all, I was no detective, nor law officer. Just an eavesdropper on her way to work!
***
Emma and Marc were standing at the top of the hill holding their guns. They had finally won a battle.
“Poor George!” Marc was looking down at his friend, laying non moving down by the bushes.
“He was brave, right to the end!” Emma credited his fallen friend. “Guys! A little help, please!” A voice shouted from below.
Emma and Marc looked at each other. Then started their way down the hill. They reached their destination and remained standing there, neither making an effort to help.
“Guys? I am dying here!”
“Well, it’s your own fault!” Marc told him.
“Yeah, you failed to follow the plan and got hit. Right in the forehead no less!” Emma berated him.
“Sorry, guess I should have cut back on the doughnuts!” Was the response of the fallen man, “I felt the energy draining away from me as I was running after you guys.”
Marc offered his hand to his friend and helped him up.
“George, you are a mess. You have paint all over your face!” Marc looked at the dirty face of his friend who had been hit by multiple paint pellets.
“Well, our team still won!” George replied with a big grin.
“We sure did George, we sure did!” Emma patted George on the back, “Thanks for taking one for the team!”
“Now, let’s go and celebrate our victory! Donuts anyone?” Marc added.
You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!
Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!
* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one * Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am * Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right? * Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P * Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop! * You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!
A typical modern person’s day
@In the morning The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up. What is the first thing you do?
#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:
A) Check your social media apps B) Check your email
@Driving in the car to your place of work. Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:
#uploadfunnypic
A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you). B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.
@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:
A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!) B) Updating statuses on various social media apps. C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite). D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table. E) Everyone watching the video. F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.
@Coffee break everyone is:
A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume. B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.
Back home from the office.
@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:
A-F apply here too.
@Midnight, bedtime:
A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”. B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.) C) Twatting everyone
#g’night!
Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.
Wishing your spouse
#sweet dreams xoxo
Lesson learnt: Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.
“My little pretty red gloves bring me joy and warmth; after all it is winter or at least, it started once again, surprise!” Gun Roswell
Red Leather Gloves
“This is when the gloves come off!” She stated with a huff and added a puff.
Throwing down the protective shielding onto the ground, she was about to defy all beliefs of what would happen when exposing yourself to the elements.
It was that time of the year, when the cold season had taken over. There was no hiding from the white powdery substance covering most of the northern world. The only thing to do to survive was to put as much woven garments on top of the skin as possible. The degrees sinking down below zero in the tens, sometimes even hundreds, this season lasted for a length of six moons.
But those damn gloves! How they irritated her, especially today. They were always in the way. Grabbing things was not easy, not to mention holding a big rugged shovel.
She looked at the discarded gloves laying on the ground. Red against the whitest of snow. Pretty were they, she thought and kept staring at them, while her fingers were getting numb. Finally, as beckoning her, she scooped the offending hand garments from the pile of snow, pulled them on and admired the colour and the feel of them.
Once again, she was very, very happy in her gorgeous red leather gloves.
“All kinds of witches are about, usually all year long, but especially on Easter!” Gun Roswell
The Three Witches of Easter
The three witches from some-wick Never mind with They ain’t winning no beauty contests To that many can attest
But ugly can be an asset Especially for the wickedness Scaring folks and cattle Just by showing up tattle
After all, this is a holy ball For all the witch kind And if you any of them find Then try to stir to the right As the witches always drive On the left hand side
“In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours” Mark Twain
Spring kind of weather, it really is!
The grass, looking oh so green It is finally that time, the time of spring All them colourful birds, do so loudly sing…
But, then, Out of the total and unexpected blue Bigger than life, some of them football size (honestly!) Totally white and really cold snowballs From the now greyed out open skies, start to fall
WTF?
Well, you expected a change in the weather And, this, this is certainly spring kind of weather!
“The bangs are too long, when they stop only at your nose, then it’s time for a trim” Gun Roswell
Need a Haircut
When the hair just keeps on growing And it is, way past that time of showing Soon enough, some scissors need to be into the mix throwing Certainly, will not be as easy, as lawn mowing
But if you really want a trim of the layers of multiple hair Then better yourself adventure to some hair specific fare Where the barbers will there be plenty of Choosing should be easy without much of a scoff
Finally loosing all that winter filled hair wool The feeling of lightness will totally and utterly fool you As the hair so heavy, is all but a memory forgotten With a new spring in your step, towards the summer you’ll be hopping
“Happy Friday the 13th. Satan texted me saying watch my back…With a winky face.”
Friday, the 13th?
The tale told below Was it based on a true story? Or just pure fiction?
That, my dear reader Is for the writer to know And for you to enjoy!
As I arrived in the office, the place seemed more quiet than usual.
At least this early in the morning.
Sitting in my seat, pondering, where everyone else were.
No emails, no calls No contacts at all Had I mistaken? Or too early awoken? Was this a wrong day? A Saturday, a Sunday?
Thinking about it, the traffic had been oddly light. Even though it had been early morning time.
After a few hours of waiting in solitude, people I had never seen, entered the room. Talking in strange languages, sounding like a record been played back the wrong way. I was observing them. They did not seem to notice me.
Passing me by Wondering why Seemed like a dream So unreal did it seem
I tried to greet one of them. I kept repeating Hello, hello, HELLO!
But unnoticed Even by the closest Visitor did I go
Getting irritated, I did no longer hesitate. Jumped in front of the nearest stranger. I did not feel I was in any danger. Waved my arms and shouted. Like a mad person undoubted
. But nothing, no nothing stirred the strangers. As if I wasn’t even there…
Maybe, just maybe I had turned invisible Or maybe, It was all, just a dream
“Phoning home, never looked more complicated than when you had no coins to put into the slot!” Gun Roswell
Going Old School
When the phone rang There always was a pang Heart skipping Before finally dipping To the cool and calm Answer mode of yesteryear
“Roswell residence, lady of the house speaking”
The conversations often polite There was no need for shout The telephone remained in the same old place Where the books with plenty of names and number remained The good old days when no one was on Twenty four seven! Oh come on! It was attached with a cord to the wall Sometimes, you wanted a moment for yourself to stall Just yanking it out, with a evil smirk And then went on with your chores If anyone would dare to call The answering machine would let them know you weren’t at home
But now, those days are gone What remains is the nostalgia of something odd The old telephone device In a home museum resides And picking up the call On this new and nice smart phone
Today I went off the edge I didn’t even take a pledge I pranced around like a Fred Astaire The others looking with a stare Laughing out very loud And feeling extremely proud An old tune from years ago Nothing to stop the show I started singing that tune Not being any kind of prune Why this happened you may ask It wasn’t anything from a flask Though I have one excuse to acquit The Coffee made me do it!
Rantings Of A Third Kind 