Coffee, Coffee, Coffee…and some more Coffee

Posted on March 7, 2019 by Gun Roswell

“There really is no life before the first pot of coffee in the morning” Gun Roswell

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee…and some more Coffee

Since the dawn of time when humans first dropped down from the trees and started walking, their first trip must have been to the closest Starbucks for some coffee.

Remember the classic film “2001: A Space Odyssey” and first scene where the prehistoric man is bewildered when a big black block lands before him? What if instead of the monolith a giant cup of coffee would have landed? I think we would have evolved much faster and would be more advanced today if that would have been the case 😉

But let’s move forward in time and to present day.

I have dropped in a quite a few suggestions (read request) in our office “suggestion box“: Add to the list of necessary office supplies an IV drop filled with coffee. Each worker would then be hooked into the IV every morning and during the day; a dedicated person would circulate around the office and re-fill the empty ones.

But seriously, coffee is the one good drug that keeps this world up and running. Here is an example of an ordinary working day:

1^st cup: 06.00 AM: Eyes barely open reaching for my glasses on the night stand sniffing for that precious aroma. Nothing yet! Half running downstairs praying the automated coffee maker has not suffered from any kind of electrical stroke during the night and my coffee would be there waiting for me.

It is! Hallelujah let the day begin!

2^nd cup: 06.20 AM: Morning ablutions behind me, standing fully clothed ready to take off to work, gulping the second cup of coffee while reaching for the door.

3^rd cup: 07.00 AM: In the office, turning on the coffee machine before even reaching for the lights in the darkened office. Impatiently waiting while the machine is making its morning sounds before I can insert my coffee capsule into the damned thing and get my coffee (Note: It’s a double shot just to make sure I don’t run out before I can tackle today’s pile of work).

4^th to 6^th cup: 08.00 to 11.00 AM: A steady flow of “double shots” for each cup to keep up the pace of the day and a smile on my face.

7^th cup: 11.30 AM: A cup of coffee to complement a tasty lunch, of course 😉

8^th to 9^th cup: 12.00 PM to 02.00 PM: One for each scheduled meeting for the afternoon.

10^{th (to 11th)}cup: 02.15 PM: It is finally time for the afternoon coffee break! (In reality this is a very large cup so guess it counts for two or more…).

12^th cup: 03.00 PM: Last squeeze (and cup of coffee) before the day’s work is done!

13^th cup: 04.00 PM: Time to leave for home, one more for the road…

14^th to Umpteenth cup: 05.00 PM to Midnight: After a full day of work, I managed a full hour of exercise, went grocery shopping and vacuumed the whole house. Albeit I was so perked up from all the coffee I managed to get to bed early (around 2 AM) after cleaning a few closets and taking the dog out three times during the evening for a brisk walk and of course, having a cup of coffee here and there; P

The lesson learned: There is no such thing as too much coffee!

By the way, last time I had my yearly check up at the doctors, the conclusion was: there was far too much blood in my caffeine circulation!

Launch pad

Posted on March 6, 2019 by Gun Roswell

“Zoom, and into the moon, we go!” Gun Roswell

Launch pad

“Time for launch, t minus ten minutes. Astronauts, please prepare for lift off!”

The scared first timers, are waiting for the final tome, as, they’re prepared to, go to the moon

Not too long ago, when time was still going very slow
The dreamers were plotting, in silence and soft corners squatting
For that special day in the future, were humanity would embark on an adventure
Flying to the far away stars, landing on the luminescent ball, hoping off it not to fall

Now that the moment is finally here
Keeping a watchful eye on the bright sphere
Which soon will be conquered, at least the image of it conjured
On each and every small screen, a large scale spectacle, never before seen

“T minus one minute to lift off. Those not prepared going to the moon, better clear the area, soon!”

And so the moment long awaited, which some say, was too long hesitated
Is finally here, no time for fear, as the engines roar, and up there, the rocket soars

Somewhere else

Posted on March 5, 2019 by Gun Roswell

“I am not from here, I am from somewhere else” Gun Roswell

Somewhere else

When a stranger asks me, where are you from?
How can I respond to that, without feeling dumb?

I am certainly not from here,
Not from this blue glowing sphere
I am originally from somewhere else
Just watch me, there are tells

Telling the stranger, I arrived here by ship
Some time ago, when it landed on the cliff

That is crazy talk some might say
But I don’t care as I am not here to stay
Just going on about my life as usual
Since it is as is, quite acceptable

What comes to my adopted friends and family
They don’t really care whether I come from here or from another galaxy

Image:If the Shoe Fits I two

Posted on January 25, 2019 by Gun Roswell

If the Shoe Fits

“I like Cinderella, I really do. She has a good work ethic.
I appreciate a good, hard-working gal. And she likes shoes.
The fairy tale is all about the shoe at the end, and I’m a big shoe girl”
Amy Adams

The Evil Red Shoe Queen

“Mirror mirror on the wall
Am I still the evilest of them all?
And more precisely, are my shoes
The shiniest in the world?

The Red Shoe Queen demanded the mirror.

An image appeared into the mirror’s glass and with an evil grin responded:

“Undoubtedly, you are quite evil, my dearest Queen. But, there is another….”

The Queen stared at the mirror, wanting it to crack, from a mere look.

If the Shoe Fits I one

Posted on January 24, 2019 by Gun Roswell

If the Shoe Fits

Little Red Riding Shoes

Meanwhile, in the deepest of forests, a young girl was on her way to the shoemakers house.

Hop, skip and a twirl,
Little Red Riding Shoes was about to hurl!
Too much fun, pardon the pun
Can cause a headache most foul
And make your stomach scream and growl!

To be continued…

Sunday Calm

Posted on January 20, 2019 by Gun Roswell

“Sunday is the calm before the storm” Gun Roswell

Sunday Calm

A bed in the shade
Could not have been better made
Inviting and soft
On to our front lawn popped
It’s Sunday so sure
A miracle occurred
The only day of calm
Sure has its charm
Trying it on for a size
And much to my surprise
I like the feel of it
And before i can sit
I find myself laying on top
Looking at the clouds above
Soon I fall into slumber
And then, it will already be Monday
Sunday calm
What a rip off!

Give and Take for TBT

Posted on January 10, 2019 by Gun Roswell

“In a deal, you give and take. You compromise. Then you grab the cash and catch the next train out of town” Irving Paul Lazar

Give and Take

I told you so, but you never listen!

A “conversation” between two people about everything and nothing as it may have happened.

“You are so thick headed aren’t you!”

“So I’m the one who is the bad guy again, huh?”

“Well you are. There is no arguing about that!”

“So you are blaming me about everything that has gone wrong?”

“Yes, what’s your point?”

“No point. It’s hilarious! You are hilarious!”

“So now you are saying I’m a joke? Is that it?”

“No, I said you must be joking.”

“That’s not what I heard.”

“Then there must be something wrong with your hearing.”

“So now you are complaining about my ability to understand you!”

“No, I said you understand things in your own way.”

“Are you calling me stupid? If you are I will show you stupid…!”

“Good grief! Read my lips: You are stubborn!”

“Just because I hear and understand something differently than you, that makes me stubborn?”

“Potato, tomato!”

“Are you mocking me?”

“No.”

“It sure sounded like you were.”

“You heard me wrong then!”

“Again with the hearing! I am not deaf you know!”

“What was the point?”

“What point?”

“Why are we arguing?”

“I dunno. The weather is not so good today?”

“No it’s not. The forecast promised sunshine tomorrow though.”

“Sounds good.”

“Yep.”

“Ok then!”

“Yep.”

Sometimes an argument is just that. The words are not important. The point of it is, there was no point to begin with. A bad day can cause feelings to run amuck. Venting with someone you trust and then forgetting about it is cathartic.

I’ll stab you in the back, if you’ll stab mine

Posted on January 8, 2019 by Gun Roswell

s that a knife on my back or are you just happy to see me?” Gun Roswell

I’ll stab you in the back, if you’ll stab mine

Call it suspicion or plain paranoia
Still not turning my back on ya
Perhaps a lack of trust in a fellow human
But definitely not a friendship in blooming

We come in friendship (shoot to kill)
That kind of kinship, gives you a chill
The pessimist would underline this cliche
And using “trust no one” as a catch phrase

Surely this rant was written in jest
Just something to get off my chest
If there was a lesson to be learnt, then just fine
At least you did not have to read between the lines

Anecdote Time (again)

Posted on November 20, 2018 by Gun Roswell

Posted in Anecdotes

“As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer” Robert Quillen

Anecdote Time!

Never judge a book by its cover. A paperback can be just as entertaining as hardcover.

If you want to dwell in the past, buy yourself a time machine.

You have to learn how to walk before you can run. I found out that the hard way after my hip-surgery.

Looking into a mirror is like… Well, you obviously need to take a selfie!

Time, time, precious time, where have you gone? Don’t tell me, you lost your watch again?

In my youth, the grass was always greener, food tasted better and life was much happier… Then we woke up and put the dog out to pee.

Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes… Be damned sure they are the same size as your own ones!

Today, I woke up, the day was stormy, the skies were gray, my mind felt dull... Well, you can’t always expect to be in the tropics, now can you Dearie?

Don’t do as I do, do as I say! Apparently, you can get away with murder?

People who are smart, beautiful and talented… Really piss me off!