Emergency?

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“Call 911, or 112 if in Europe” Gun Roswell

“911, what’s the emergency?”

“Everything?”

“How can it be so? You must define at least one thing wrong!”

“Can’t, it’s all so bad!”

“How bad is it?”

“It’s all full of shit. Life, living, this… nothing worth a single bit!”

“But, can’t you find at least one thing? Something, that would enable you to sing?”

“No, nothing.”

“That’s really sad. Almost makes me mad!”

“Yeah, well, how do you think I feel? Is this, life, all of it, even all real?”

“Maybe, or maybe it’s just a dream?”

“Well, if I am only dreaming, then maybe, from this nightmare I can wake up, fake my way up and smile, at least for a while?”

“Sounds like a plan? Have you tried to stand?”

“I will, just now. Yep I can, I am so proud!”

“Sounds great, maybe it was not too late, just a while to hesitate?”

“Maybe, but now, I will try walking, one step, then another, I hope no more you to bother. I am on my path now, somehow, able to walk again!”

“Thank you, for the explain! Now I too, can leave this plane, help an others, onto the next level to be able to get.”

“Good luck, I will try not to fuck up… this time!”

“You too! After all, for trying, there is nothing to loose!”

End connection… “Beep, beep, beep…”

Custom made

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”B*tch, please!” Gun Roswell


I was made for you to hate,
There is no need for me that further to explain
And yet, I cannot resist telling you all of this
The recipe quite simple not to exist

Add:

A little dirt, some salt, hint of water and lots of plastic,
Place them in a mould, then simply, fold
Bake it all in a really big oven, 
Hopefully, something soon starts showing

A recipe might not as refined as that, which in the end, is just fine, oh snap!

I am here for all of you to peruse,
Completely made of plastic, certainty elastic 
One in a million, but somehow unique like a billion

I may come from a top shelf
But still manage to be oh so very custom made

Deal with it 😛

Hell just might be empty, with all them nasty devils running amok on this plane of existence!

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“Things, affairs , all of it, might be wrong, a lot of them are, but, giving up hope, was never an option, never part of the grand plan either. Was it?“ Gun Roswell

“It’s hell out there! Surely we had some time to spare before it was about to happen I swear!” Someone exclaimed having taken a spun around the neighbourhood, having found it no fun at all.

“Have you seen the latest news?” Another one asked confused of the times. “It’s murder and mayhem for sure and that is the awful truth!”

“I don’t leave my house anymore. Just because it’s such a chore.” The third one chimed, certainly they were not feeling so fine. “Putting all them gear on, the armour or whatnot, just to feel safe and even then you cannot be sure.”

“The kids are all home schooled now, not that its of any use. Them all hanging on their game girls and fun stations, twatting about it all on the internets of things. Such misuse of the time. All of it wasted for sure. But the lure of it all is too much to ignore.” The mum from across the street shouted from the open window, never ever daring to leave her home.

“Truly is sad all of it. In the olden days, well, everything was so much sunnier, funnier, lighter and brighter. And now, it’s all such shades of greys.” A not so old person retorted to the others, from a safe distance but of course.

“Yeah, hell has certainly arrived to our small corner of the world. Then again, what did we expect with all them devils running around in our streets. But we did invite them here didn’t we?” And with that there was no rhyme to be seen, simply a comment of how things had turned out to be.

Thinking hard?

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“Thinking hard or hardly moving one thought? Brain empty, no matter, another one can be bought?” Gun Roswell

Mind in full spin-cycle

As my thoughts its trying to tackle

I feel like i am about to chuckle

But then lost in another puzzle

My brain is trying to hustle

This little Brain of Mine won’t let me sleep!

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“Something certainly rattling up there… Could it be… a thought perhaps?” Gun Roswell

This, tiny, useful brain of mine
Thinks, it is, doing just fine
It keeps on going and going and going
Even though my body yearns for slowing
Down at night, well… sometimes
And some other times
Too needs, to rewind

So, I ask you nicely
Please be kind
Shut down
Every once in a while
Let me sleep
Dream real deep
And maybe a later
I will reward you with a nice state of
Quiz and debate

Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless little bitch aren’t thee, I know you are!

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“I thought the whole point of growing older was to grow wiser, not wider! The first thing ain’t happening but the second one sure is! Goodness knows we are so lacking wisdom in this world, so what gives???” Gun Roswell

Oh Gravity!

I trusted you, ya know
I thought we were the best of friends
Forever I mean, heaven sent and all that jazz of a kink
But ya sure fooled me, didn’t ya!
Cause this ain’t no ship, friend or otherwise!
And I’ll bet my shiny fat derrière you’re sitting out there somewhere
Laughing your respective one off just ’cause I’m getting all the wider!

Didn’t I do all the things ya requested?
Ya know, when I was so much younger and…. Well?
Fasted, toned, honed, ran, whatever fad there was I did do to keep things… fit?
Having them perky edges, standing rather than never around to sit?Starving more likely!
No liquor, no snacks, no sweets, certainly less food… no nuttin’!
Not one single good thing consumed, just illin’!

And so, finally, here is were I stopped
The age slowly seeping in and I ain’t singing!

So yeah, wider!

Gravity, you’re now pullin’ me every which way
Cannot seem to keep my body in one single shape?

Most days waking up with a loud huff and puff
Feeling like a broken down collectable doll or some such
Fitting each part to their constraints
The shatnerish contraptions holding me together in on place
Pulling, pushing, squeezing, nudging, whatever trick to simply fit!
Finally managing to a somewhat of a human form
Guess not really the regular or the norm

But what the hey!
If I can still stand up straight, do the walk
Then yeah, I beat you!
At least for this day!

Time to check whether it’s real or memorex

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“It is strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book”

So there I was, in the middle of the woods, all by my lonesome. No where to hide, no where to run.
I was in for a challenge. Not only because of me detoxing from the fiction I was greatly hooked up on at this point, but also living in an archaic house without any creature comforts.

I watched the car drive off, and then I was finally alone. Time to start the battle with the demons!
I went inside the wooden cabin finding a layer of dust settling on the surfaces. Sighing deeply and thinking ‘Welcome to the labour camp’. Placing my rucksack on the chair closest to me, I rolled up my sleeves and started cleaning up.

Windows and door open to get the air circulating. Making do with an old broom to swipe the floors. Luckily I had brought some cleaning wipes with me. Those would come in handy while dusting the surfaces.

A few hours later I looked around and the place was spick and span clean. It was time for the evening meal and I was unpacking my bag. I had several cans of food, some crackers and a juice canister. Now all I needed was water and wood!

The rest of my day went pretty much doing chors like cutting wood and hauling water from the well.
A few more hours went by and I was inside getting the wooden stow started. When the fire was burning nicely, I opened one of the cans, pea soup of course, good for any camper!

It was night fall and I had my little oil lamp burning and the fire was going keeping me warm. It had been a little bit of an effort, but luckily some smart Alec had written instructions now hanging on the wall next to fireplace.

So there I was without a care in the world, my stomach full with soup and juice. I was wondering how people managed to get anything else done in the olden days. Most of the daylight hours seemed to be wasted on cleaning and gathering necessities for meal preparation.

Then I realized I needed to use the facilities. Unfortunately there was only an outhouse and it was a bit tricky to navigate there in the dark. I had my torch with me so that helped a little. I just hoped no wildlife were close by feeling peckish and thinking I was food.

The routine for the two week period was pretty much the same every day. Get up at dawn, because the birds were screaming in the trees, hunt and gather for nourishment. The cottage grounds actually had a pretty good assortment of various berries and luckily it was the season for most of them.

In the end, I did not even miss reading, anything, fiction or otherwise. I didn’t have time, when the real life hit me hard, and using a log to do it!

Let’s see what happens when I finally get back home, where all the temptations await me!

Some Social Media Bullshit Like That

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‘Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia’

“Are we really connected?” Gun Roswell

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!

A typical modern person’s day 

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone

#g’night!

Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

The Truth, Is Out There, Maybe?

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“Looking for the truth, or just, looking?” Gun Roswell

In
My Mind

Science Fiction
Science Fact
Utopia

The Earth
The Planets
The Stars

In
My Mind

A Galaxy
The Milky Way
The Cosmos

The Universe
The Intergalactic Space
A Void

In
My Mind

A Wormhole
A Black hole
A Singularity

Pi
A mathematical constant
The number 47
A mystery

In
My Mind

Spiraling
With random thoughts
With coherent thoughts

Universes and Worlds
Conjured up and destroyed

In
My Mind

Aliens and
Their spaceships

Humans with
Their flying machines

In the Here
And Now

I am
Peddling
On my Bicycle
The long dark road
A head of Me

Tuesday? Once a week only?

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It’s another day of the week, naturally!” Gun Roswell

The days come along one by one (usually the way they do)
It’s almost like singing a song (verse by verse moving along)
Today it’s Tuesday, when only yesterday it was Sunday (that’s how I recall it)
And now, it’s getting late, no matter how I hesitate, tomorrow will be here, I can feel it near (What do you know: It’s Wednesday and midweek, what a geek!)

Guess I need to stop worrying about Mondays anyway (Oh, did you worry before? Did not know that…)
Since the days keep on changing without my aid (Yeah, need a time machine for that!)
Why worry about some day, when there is always the next day (True, do like the Spanish do, manana!)
So, on this day of …ahem, Tuesday, I swear, not to worry about another damned day!!! (Liar! You know this promise or what ever is as good as the up and down going fever! You will never keep it, trust me, I know shit!)

Bring it on Tuesday, Wednesday and even Friday (Don’t forget Monday and something else!)
Every day, from this day on is my day (note to writer, how many times can you get away with the word “day”?)
I will start appreciating the here and now (Yeah, really! Like to see that)
And then, if not, nobody have a cow! (We already did! It’s there in the backyard!)