Serially Lost in Fiction (TBT)

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Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream.”

Serially Lost in Fiction

Writer’s note: This content is the work of pure fiction and is in no way associated to the writer ;P

The best guideline for any writer is to read, read and read some more. With all available resources, carrying a “book” around is easy as pie and you can read anywhere. There is a downside to this though and I found that out the hard way: I got caught between the realm of reality and fantasy.

It started slowly, reading a short story here, another there. Then things started to escalate. I was hooked up on longer stories, even sequels and serial ones. It had gotten to the point where I was reading on the bus stop, in the bus, at lunch, on coffee break. When I got home from work I could not wait to rush through my daily chores and emerge myself in more stories.

Feeling like the children who found Narnia, I was devouring all kinds of the stories. Re-enacting some of them in my sleep. Even taking part in conversations with my imaginary new friends in my head.

Staying up until late hours, reading, reading, reading. Sleep was scarce, almost non-existent. Drinking lots of coffee was the only remedy to somehow muddle through my work days. Even during the day fantasizing of the time I was back home and able to fully concentrate on my reading.

Then I got a wake up call. It was in the form of an intervention from my family and friends. I was on my way from work like usual and happily thinking on my next read. And there they were, sitting in the living room, waiting for me. Not a tablet, laptop, book reader nor an actual book in sight!

They sat me down gently and told me in no small way how my constant reading was affecting them.
I could not believe they would dare confronting me like this. After all, I was only reading for leisure.

Bewildered and utterly distraught I dwelled in self pity for a few days. Locking myself in my room and reporting in sick. I decided “to hell with it” and emerged in even more reading. For four days and four nights apart from potty breaks I read anything and everything.

After those days, I guess something got me thinking. Could have been the sleep deprivation, could have been the fact I had hardly eaten, but I realized I was in over my head. Then and there I decided it was time for a change.

 Next stop: Reality? Who’s Brilliant Idea Was That?

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Reality? Who’s Brilliant Idea Was That? (TBT)

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Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

Part Two of Serially Lost in Fiction

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“Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth”  Ludwig Borne

Reality? Who’s Brilliant Idea Was That?

“You really need to pull it together and clean up your act!”

The words still echoing in my head from the intervention. The whole thing had made me extremely angry. But after my initial tantrum had subsided, I was willing to admit I had a problem.

So now, I needed a plan, but it was going to be hard. I had two choices, to gradually wean myself off of all that fiction and fantasy or go cold turkey. I estimated it would take around two to three weeks or so either way. I chose the latter option. I did not trust myself, suspecting the gradual way I would only make excuses and not read any less.

The options at hand would be then to:

a) Get rid of every single piece of technology or readable book.
b) Lock myself in an empty room at home.
c) Travel to a far away place, preferably a cottage in the middle of the forest somewhere without any creature comforts.

I chose plan c. It seemed the best option, since my family owned a cottage some hundred kilometers up north. There was no electricity, no running water, basically nothing but survival against the wilderness. Well, to be honest, the nearest shop was only five kilometres away, so not a god forsaken place after all.

Since the margin of me running off mid process, my family opted to drive me there and I would then have a bike to use for my trips to buy groceries. And that being my only option of transportation, it would be highly unlikely I would run off on a bike.

So it was agreed and I was on my way to the cottage in the woods with only my necessities.

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Next stop: Time for a Reality Check?

Time for a Reality Check? (TBT)

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Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

Part Three of Reality? Who’s Brilliant Idea Was That?

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“It is strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book”

Time for a Reality Check?

So there I was, in the middle of the woods, all by my lonesome. No where to hide, no where to run.
I was in for a challenge. Not only because of me detoxing from the fiction I was greatly hooked up on at this point, but also living in an archaic house without any creature comforts.

I watched the car drive off, and then I was finally alone. Time to start the battle with the demons!
I went inside the wooden cabin finding a layer of dust settling on the surfaces. Sighing deeply and thinking ‘Welcome to the labour camp’. Placing my rucksack on the chair closest to me, I rolled up my sleeves and started cleaning up.

Windows and door open to get the air circulating. Making do with an old broom to swipe the floors. Luckily I had brought some cleaning wipes with me. Those would come in handy while dusting the surfaces.

A few hours later I looked around and the place was spick and span clean. It was time for the evening meal and I was unpacking my bag. I had several cans of food, some crackers and a juice canister. Now all I needed was water and wood!

The rest of my day went pretty much doing chors like cutting wood and hauling water from the well.
A few more hours went by and I was inside getting the wooden stow started. When the fire was burning nicely, I opened one of the cans, pea soup of course, good for any camper!

It was night fall and I had my little oil lamp burning and the fire was going keeping me warm. It had been a little bit of an effort, but luckily some smart Alec had written instructions now hanging on the wall next to fireplace.

So there I was without a care in the world, my stomach full with soup and juice. I was wondering how people managed to get anything else done in the olden days. Most of the daylight hours seemed to be wasted on cleaning and gathering necessities for meal preparation.

Then I realized I needed to use the facilities. Unfortunately there was only an outhouse and it was a bit tricky to navigate there in the dark. I had my torch with me so that helped a little. I just hoped no wildlife were close by feeling peckish and thinking I was food.

The routine for the two week period was pretty much the same every day. Get up at dawn, because the birds were screaming in the trees, hunt and gather for nourishment. The cottage grounds actually had a pretty good assortment of various berries and luckily it was the season for most of them.

In the end, I did not even miss reading, anything, fiction or otherwise. I didn’t have time, when the real life hit me hard, and using a log to do it!

Let’s see what happens when I finally get back home, where all the temptations await me!

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Jealous of my Boogie for SL-WEEK 42

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Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of Car

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“Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live
In cars”
Gary Numan – Cars

Jealous of my Boogie

“Don’t be jealous of my boogie”
The older wise Mercedes said to the little new car
Who had turned red when trying with the old one to spar
And found out, it could not drive quite as far
After all, the vintage model was the star

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Goldilocks and the Three Yellow Lorries for SL-WEEK 42

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Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of Car

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“Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live
In cars”
Gary Numan – Cars

Goldilocks and the Three Yellow Lorries

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the neighbourhood. Pretty soon, she came upon a parking lot and noticed three yellow lorries.

She stepped into the biggest one:

“This lorry is too hot to handle” she exclaimed.

So, she hopped into the middle lorry, and sat behind the wheel again:

“This lorry is too passe,” she said

So, she tried the smallest of the lorries:

“Ahhh, this lorry is just right,” she said happily, turned on the engine, and off she went!

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Back in time (TBT)

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Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“When I was kid, my social network was called ‘outside’ “

Back in time

This is the work one of pure fiction. Neither polar bears nor reindeer were harmed in the creation of this literary process!

The year was 1924.

Longitude and latitude: Somewhere up north, thataway! The Finnish Lapland would probably be the most accurate location for this tale.

How old was I?

I guess I was somewhere between ten and twelve years of age. In those days, people were born and they died. No one really bothered with the record keeping. Lord knows there were plenty of us to go around.

Despite the fact it was close to midsummer, there was still snow on the ground. The reindeer and polar bears were roaming the streets while us kids were running around, having snowball fights. That is, during the minimum spare time we had between school, chores and work. Sleeping in those days was a luxury. Sometimes we had a full night’s sleep, sometimes the watch duty fell on my plate and I needed to stay up all night. Luckily, coffee had been invented ten years prior and we were all pretty much hooked on the sweet dark liquid.

Our housing for the winter months was an igloo, which the whole family constructed out of ice. Snow was used as plaster to fill in any holes between the blocks of ice. During the summer time, we had a tent like structure made out of bear and deer skin. Unfortunately all of us favoured the winter dwelling for one simple fact: The summer house stunk like a skunk. The choice of material was not a good one, but then, it was depression and all commodities were scarce.

The trip to school, either winter or summer time was made on skis and it was part to the exercise curriculum for all of us still eligible for the classes. A twenty kilometer trip back and forth was not a big deal and was building the strength and endurance nicely. This also came in handy for our after school activities. Some of us went to work in the coal mines, while others were herding rein deer or taking care of their younger siblings.

Each Saturday the Sauna was heated and all the family gathered into the cramped little room, heated up to eighty degrees. We were sitting all butt cheek to butt cheek in the nude on a wooden construct in the small dark room. Only the burning fire in the stove gave some lighting. As a luffa, a loosely tied bunch of birch tree branches with leaves on them was used. Out mother pummeled us with the concoction and me thinks she enjoyed it a little too much. Granted we children gave her grieve sometimes, so I will give her that.

Bathing for us then meant taking dips in the icy, below freezing waters. This, after we had first heated our body temperatures close to baking. Then we ran naked to the lake, where a large hole had been dug into the ice and plunged in.

All in all life was pretty ordinary and uneventful in my childhood, apart from the minor quirks.

Do I miss it? My childhood?

I would rather spend my next holiday on a labour camp!

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Thorn in my side (Daily Photo)

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Posted in Daily Photo
Photography /Tale

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“But he that dares not grasp the thorn Should never crave the rose” Anne Bronte

Thorn in my side (Daily Photo)

“Come closer, so I may see you better” the little plant whispered

I hesitated for a moment, after all, the thorns looked very sharp

As if sensing my hesitation, the plant continued:
“It’s ok, my dear, I won’t hurt you”

I smiled and stepped closer. I was in awe, mezmerized by the beauty before me.
As in a haze, I watched my hand getting closer and closer to the inviting thorns…
And before I realized what had happened, it was already too late.
I had been pricked, with a deadly poison.

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The Dame and the White Cat (Caturday) Part One

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Posted in Caturday
Humour / Tales / Mystery

Angela,Cat

“When all candles be out, all cats be grey” John Heywood

The Dame and the White Cat (Caturday) Part One

The dame with her white cat
Stepped in for a quick chat
Sat down and whisked off her hat
Ordered a coffee with milk non-fat

“Good evening dearie”
She said leering
“Nice weather we are having this evening”

That was all she said
Her conversation dropping dead
Just quietly sipping the beverage
As if looking for a leverage

I stood there staring
The silence more than unbearing
Wondering ‘what or who was this stranger
Were we all in danger?’

As if reading my mind
The lady put down the cup
And finally looked up
And with smile made of kind

She stated matter of factually
“I need more cats!”
As ipso facto, this was actually
A store, where one could purchase such things

 

To be continued

More Cats

Crazy Cat Lady Starter Kit (Caturday)

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Posted in Caturday
Humour, Tales

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“If the shoe fits, wear it”

Crazy Cat Lady Starter Kit (Caturday)

started kit

Whether it’s a business, or a personal hobby;
There is nothing like a good starter kit, to get you off the ground!

Before you know it
Your collecting will start growing
You will feel the life altering experience
Provided only, by these tiny creatures

And soon enough, you too, can be part of, the Crazy Cat Lady Alliance!

If you don’t believe us,
Just listen to some of the testimonies by our satisfied clients:
“I was a mess, totally lost, ’till I heard of “the Kit”.
Now, I am totally hooked! Cats and kittens all over my house!
Even cat hair on my blouse.
I could not be more happy!”
“I was working twenty-four-seven, my life consumed by work.
I was lonely and at the end of my rope. Then, one day I saw the ad:
The Starter Kit completely turned my life around!
Cats, cats, cats, my 24-7 acts! Nothing more do I want in my life!”
So order yours now, before we run out.
Call now, the lines are open, so press those buttons!

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The incredible lightness of being… Naked (TBT)

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Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course” – Marilyn Monroe

The incredible lightness of being… Naked

“Hanging around naked can be fun, whether you are driving your car, shopping groceries or just hanging in your neighbour’s yard barbequing. This of course only applies if you are a nudist and resident of a nudist colony!”

The Finns may be an odd bunch among the rest of the so-called civilized western world. Sitting around in a steaming small and fully packed room, naked in something they refer to as “sauna”. Be that with their family, a group of friends or neighbors and even ones nearest colleagues. Sometimes even with a group of strangers will suffice when visiting the public swimming pool.

They also like to take naked dips in a lake during wintertime when the temperature has dropped below zero and the water is really icy cold. If you are courageous enough and willing to imitate this behaviour, beware though, some shrinkage may occur.

Myself I also like the cool air against my naked skin, especially after the shower in the morning, running around the house in my birthday suit. This may of course cause some temporary blindness in those whose fate it is to stare inside just when I am passing the windows.

There are those who are ashamed of their bodies and try to hide and cover them in every possible situation, even though these bodies would be in sync to the general consensus of a “beautiful body” what ever that term means. I personally subscribe to the notion of “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and what ever form the body may be is fine as long as you are comfortable in your own skin.

I got my first touch of “shame” of one’s nakedness while visiting UK when I was seventeen. While camping there, the facilities were public of course including the showers. Being the shameless Finn, I undressed outside the stall, took a quick shower and came out again naked to dress up. The rest of the Brits went in fully dressed, which seemed an odd thing to do. But as it turned out they did take their clothes off for the actual shower! Mind you, these were not unisex showers, but separate for the ladies and gents, so there was no visible need for this behaviour.

Posing for artistic and tasteful nude photographs in one’s youth seems to be allowed, especially if you have the body for it. Posing in your later years or if you have put on some weight is a definite no-no, at least as per what is socially acceptable.

Fair warning though: If you aim for any of the following positions posing in nude photos is a definite negatory:

* Teacher
* Politician
* Basically any kind of public figure
* Beauty pageant contestant

These photos will turn up when you least expect them and bite you right in the derriere, pun intended! However if your goal is to be an entertainer in the so-called adult industry, posing nude will give you excellent practice for it!

This writer does not subscribe to the above mentioned social convention, but has a more open mind where nudity is concerned and in conclusion, quoting the famous Drag artist RuPaul:

“We are all born naked and the rest is Drag”

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