Service or no Service, That is the Question (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday Series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

bad-customer-service1

“Someone calling oneself a customer says 
she wants something called service?”

Service or no Service, That is the Question

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Those of us who work in the field of Information Technology know very well, that nothing is as certain: If something can go wrong, it will go wrong, especially when you least expect it. Oddly enough, the supposedly most reliable functionality used on daily bases tends to break down most frequently.

This is also true for any IT related appliances. Then you realize you need to call for help. But sometimes it seems getting the support for the actual issue at hand can be difficult at best.

For your amusement, a telecommunication between a PC Help Desk agent and the end user as it may have happened in real life:

“PC Service Desk, how may I help you today?”

“Hello, Yes, I have a problem with my emails, it seems I cannot send any.”

“I see. Would you be able to answer a few basic questions before we can start troubleshooting your issue?”

“Yes of course, fire away!”

“Thank you Ma’am. First question: Have you been diagnosed with any kind of debilitating disorder?”

“Umm… no.”

“Good. Next question: Are you currently experiencing nausea, dizziness, headache or dryness of the mouth?”

“No?”

“OK. Moving on: Do you feel numbness or swelling in any of your extremities?”

“No!”

“Are you currently on any kind of medication?”

* Getting annoyed *

“What has any of this got to do with my issue with email?”

“Just answer the questions Ma’am so we may move on!”

“Fine! I took some antihistamine this morning.”

“I see. Would you mind if we establish a link to your PC?”

“No of course not, please do!”

“Excellent. When you see the pop-up window, just click on the ‘accept’ choice”

“Done”

* A window with a face of the Help Desk person appears on the PC screen *

“Can you see me Ma’am?”

“Yes I see you clearly.”

“Great, we can see you as well.”

“OK, so now can we get back to my issue?”

“Hold on Ma’am. Can you stand up?”

“What?”

“Please stand up!”

“OK, standing up!”

“Now, please walk a few meters in a straight line to your left, then back to your right”

* Shaking head but complying *

“Walking…”

“Perfect. Now, stand perfectly still, move your right hand to the tip of your nose and back down again.”

* Frustrated sigh *

“OK…”

“Fine, now please do the same with your left hand.”

* Requested activity completed *

“Excellent Ma’am! We are all done here. Thank you for your co-operation and calling our emergency service desk! Have an excellent day!”

“What the… hold on! What of my issue with the email?”

“HAVE A GREAT DAY MA’AM! Goodbye!”

“But.. OK, Bye!”

* Sighing hevily *

* Looking around the office for colleagues *

“Does anyone else have an issue with their email?”

“Yes!”
“Me too!”
“Yup!”
“Diddo!”

“Did any of you call the help desk?”

“NO!”
“Never!”
“Not me!”
“Not in a million years!”

Saying out loud: “OK, then! Guess it’s back to work!”

Thinking: ‘Guess I just have to fix the issue myself!’

Lesson learned: “Self service is the best service!”

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The Girl and The Cat: Part Two

Posted in Caturday
Photography, Poetry, Humour, Tale
Photo Credits Miranda Kuusisto, Jessica Solingius

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“Cats have it all – admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it” Rod McKuen

The Girl and The Cat: Part Two

Would you look at that!
The girl with the cat
Almost like aristocrats

“Mirror, mirror on the camera
The two of us are giving you glamoura’
Soon with us, all will enamoura’ “

The girl and the cat
Posing with a knack
Pretty pictures, are the result of that

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It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race! (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

Dame Edna Everage Tour

“We are all born naked and the rest is Drag” – RuPaul

It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race!

This is Ixavier Lasloth coming live from the Galaxy near you!

Our news team is currently orbiting a small bluish rock in the farthest corner of the known universe. We are here to observe the supposedly dominant occupants of this planet they have named “Earth”. These people seem to be involved in something called the “human race”, although as to where and when the race will take place is still unclear.

We are here to observe the ritualistic behaviour of this particular species, whose skin colour is varying from a pinkish hue to darker brown shade or sometimes even red. Some of them are covered in a thick fur like layer, while others remain neutral and satisfied in their original skin.

We are in disguise to avoid any panic our strange appearance may cause in the inhabitants.

Upon closer inspection, we can clearly detect at least two distinctive sexes, but there may be more.

Although most of these creatures seem to be content in their existence, some of them rebel against the existing norm. These individuals have ventured to live their lives with their own set of rules and formed tight knit groups and living off the radar. These “outsiders” worship their heroes in an almost religious fashion.

This exceptional behaviour is the reason, why this reporter landed on this forsaken rock and decided to have a closer look.

After making contact with some of these “radical groups”, we were fortunate enough to get invited to observe one of their many rituals. The core group and their followers call themselves “De-rag Q-ueens.

We were invited to observe their masking ritual, reserved for the most elite individuals of the group. The “males” as we got to know them were performing an age old ceremony named the “drag race”.

Observing the ritual to a fault, there is a strict regime to follow:

The first step is to apply a thick layer of paint on the face. The next step is to add a head piece, which seems like a construct of some sort of animal hair. These headpieces come in every imaginative colour of the rainbow. To complete the transformation, a garment weaved with glittering items is pulled over the top half of the body. The feet are covered with footwear constructed from a leathery material and with an added feature, which seems to give the wearer more height.

When the total transformation from “male” to “female” was complete, it was time to “put on a show”.

The Q-ueens lined up and started walking in orderly fashion on what seemed to be a structure of wooden planks they had named the “cat walk”. A rhythmic beat followed by electrical lights flashing caused the Q-ueens to start producing sounds from their throats causing melodic sounds coming out from their mouths. This ritual was of a repetitive nature, where the melodies and sounds varied depending on the individual performing them. The “show” continued and the partakers managed to change their attire several times over before the ceremony was over.

All in all while observing this religious ritual in all its glory, this reporter found oneself caught in the moment; cheering and applauding at the end of the ceremony, which luckily was the accepted social convention.

While trying to get more in-depth information as to what the origin of this particular ritual was, I was fortunate to interview one of the elders among them. And the message, quite clear and directly quoted:

“We may be born naked, but surely the rest needs to be drag”
In this reporter’s opinion, this may be one of the more successful stories of Earth.

Until next time, this is Ixavier Lasloth, signing off!

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Frosted Forest (7-Day Nature Photo Challenge)

Posted in 7-Day Nature Photo Challenge, Day One
Photography, Poetry, Tale, Humour

* Thanks for the nomination SimpleDimple! Check out this great site: Giggles and Tales.
* The rules are pretty simple: Post one nature photo for seven (7) days and nominate another great pic-snapper to join the competition.

* I nominate Lucile from Bridging Lacunas

frosted-forest (DAY 1)

“Nothing burns like the cold.” George R.R. Martin

Frosted Forest

The snow was slowly floating
The trees with a powdery white cloaking
Like a sugar candy coating
As Mother Nature watched gloating

“Look how pretty I made it!
I don’t care one shit,
If the humans don’t see the fit.

It’s pretty and clean,
Most gorgeous thing they ever seen!

So what if it is freezing cold
And the ever rising wind blows!
Better suck it and enjoy,
For this, is my utter ploy!”

And so the little minions of Earth
Went forth in both fear or mirth
After all, how long could it be before the birth
Of summer

frosted-forest (DAY 1)

Caturday’s Tale

Posted in Caturday

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“There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.”

Caturday’s Tale

The cat hissed
Her tail totally frizzed
The witch loudly laughed
Stirring her brew with the wooden shaft

 

Arched-Back-Cat

“Fear not, my furry kitten
It is not you who will be eaten
It is only the humans, who should be scared”
The witch said with an evil glare

For not many knew
Of the secret, reserved only for a few
The powers witches can share
For those really fair                                     

 

 

So better be ware
Of all others take good care
A little something for the witches leave
Or you may end up in grief

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Once there was a Man (Shortest of Tales Collection)

Shortest of Tales Collection presents:

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“A short story is something that you can hold in your mind. You can really analyze how the entire thing works, like a machine” Chuck Palahniuk

Once there was a Man

Once there was a man
Who did not understand
That the greatest of plans
Was already in his hands

So he went around town
Looking for his crown
His face in a big frown
Feelings of letting down

But when he saw a beggar
With the biggest smile ever
He suddenly turned around
And his smile finally found

ZXglizq

Red Gloves (Mundane Monday 2016-02-01)

Posted in Tale and Photography
Photo challenge for PhoTrabloggers Mundane Monday

“This is a challenge created to find beauty in almost everything. The challenge is simple : find beauty in everyday mundane things, capture the beauty and upload the photographs.”

MUNDANE MONDAY CHALLENGE #44

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“My little pretty red gloves bring me joy and warmth; after all it is winter!” Gun Roswell

Red Gloves (Mundane Monday 2016-02-01)

“This is when the gloves come off!” She stated with a huff and puff.

Throwing down the protective shielding onto the ground, she was about to defy all beliefs of what would happen when exposing yourself to the elements.

It was that time of the year, when the cold season had taken over. There was no hiding from the white powdery substance covering most of the northern world. The only thing to do to survive was to put as much woven garments on top of the skin as possible. The degrees sinking down below zero in the tens, sometimes even hundreds, this season lasted for a length of six moons.

But those damn mittens! How they irritated her, especially today. They were always in the way. Grabbing things was not easy, not to mention holding a shovel.

She looked at the discarded gloves laying on the ground. Red against the whitest of snow. Pretty were they, she thought and kept staring at them, while her fingers were getting numb. Finally, as beckoning her, she scooped the offending mittens from the pile of snow, pulled them on and admired the colour and the feel of them.

Once again, she was happy in her gorgeous red mittens.

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Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind): Part Two

Posted in Tales of the Unexpected

float boat 2

“Whatever floats your boat as long as it doesn’t sink mine!”

Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind)!

Start your engines and may the best women, win!

Yes, yes, yes! I was watching the season finale of the RuPaul’s Drag Race today and, no, my favourite queen was not crowned today. This is actually supposed to be, again, one of those exercises for where I type in what ever floats in my mind in an allotted amount of time.

Problem: There is a *lot* floating there, whether it is inspirational, interesting or even artistic, is another matter. So here I am tapping the keys on my mac, which I actually wrote an homage to a little while back. Go figure!

OK, so back to the subject at hand: What is going on in my mind? Thinking, thinking, thinking… Ah here is a topic! Well, as my Mommy used to tell me: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, shut the fuck up!” And she was right. I try to count to five, sometimes even ten is needed to calm down when ever something really sets me off. But I am going to share a little secret here, trying not to be to harsh about it.

For a little while now, I have gotten deeper and deeper into the underbelly of the wery wide web. Yeah, the “w” was on purpose ;P So like the rant said, I am socially investigating interesting and well to be honest, not so interesting sites and people. (No, *not* stalking 😉 ).

Where was I? Oh yes, so I have been following this TV show and kind of liked it. Actually liking is an understatement! I got pretty much hooked on it. Enjoying the seasons so far (last season was kind of ‘meh’), but now I have learnt of a few changes in the show and the main characters are about to happen in the upon coming season. To be honest, all the hype out there generated by the “real” hard core fans is getting really annoying and the changes seem unrealistic to the nature of the show, so it may be I need to start looking for a new favourite series sooner than later. They say change is good, well, let’s see. Maybe I will turn off the television all together and pick up knitting!

Alright, enough about that subject. Guess now since I have actually shared my pain I can move on! Oh please grow up! It is a television series, not real life.

So back to the topic and what is floating in my mind. Oh, oh, oh, I have revived my life passion of photography. Not that I ever left it, but for the past year or so, the extension of my arm, also known as a c.a.m.e.r.a, had been a wee bit neglected, but now I once more feel it detached to myself. Snapping away like a mad woman!

Talking of which, or witch: yes you can call me one if you like ;P. So talking about being a little cuckoo or hii-haa or (whistling sound while spinning my finger pointed at my head), so crazy basically. I have come to realize you have to be a little off your rockers to actually pull out any kind of regular job people do in today’s world. And I think it is actually a requirement for the artistic field. So guess I am on the right track, either way. And to think about it, I used to be worried, especially having such a crazy family. But that tale is a topic for another day!

So what is floating in my mind… Let’s see, of course the pending surgery, that is a given. What else. Train of thought, OK, now I am actually thinking and when that happens, all ideas are out the door. For example if I plan my writing ahead, characters, plot (what plot?) and all that jazz, I end up having a nice setup and then start writing and the complete work is actually something completely different. So, I have realized thinking is no good, not for me at least. This may not be a good guideline for everyone and certainly not what the books on the subject matter teach. But when I let go, and let the characters guide me, the story writes itself. OK, so I am telling a little tall tale here, since I currently have at least ten stories in various stages of incompletion, but still. Take this rant for example. No planning and here I am typing, still typing, just typing. Utter, complete, nonsense!

And with that thought, I will take the exit to the right.

Thanks Ladies and Gents! It’s been real! Please come back for more in the near future for more of… Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind)!

Alfred Hitchcock Aims

Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind): Part One

Posted in Tales of the Unexpected

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“Every writer I know has trouble writing” Joseph Heller

Tales of the Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind): Part One

“This written tale is based on the prompt:”Four-hundred words. One at a time. Go.”

I woke up, when I was born, no sooner, no later. That was as stupid an opening line as “Once upon a time” or “It was a cold and rainy night”, but I thought I was being clever in starting the tale with a joke. You who follow my writing may have noticed the humouristic twist in most tales, at least at some point. For the life of me, I cannot write serious, not matter how I try. Maybe I would have a career in joke writing or scetches for “Saturday Night Live” or similar shows.

OK, so the agreed process for this tale is: Absolutely no censorship in this tale, my mind freely flowing as my fingers do the typing. I am no longer in command of this vessel. What ever is written on these pages is purely fictional as produced by the army of voices living in my head. I was thinking of cheating of course, thinking before writing, plotting my way into this tale.

After emerging from the deep state I was in, I decided to finally let go, to leave it alone, to not think too much and see what will develop. Apart from the typos caused by my fingers not being able to keep up, this is all just a flow of the mind. I know it is crowded in there, despite the fact the sign implies there is “room for rent”. My occupants like to play tricks on me and those who might take a glimpse to my brain.

Funny things those renters of mine. I prefer to use that word rather than thinking this is a permanent situation. I do hope, that, at some point the other voices will take their leave and I can finally make decisions on my own. Whether that be writing or something else. Mostly it is writing though. When I do decide to let go, the writing is usually good, so I really shouldn’t be taking any credit. But someone once said, A good writer borrows, a great writer steals.

Oh, oh, I am stuck now, either the others went on a break or then they are all napping. I am actually wondering how familiar and TV-oriented this sounds. I do sound like a Borg drone from Star Trek, don’t I. “I can’t hear the others, I need the others to survive!” must be the most quoted line in the franchise when the Borg characters are in play.

But I digest, I mean digress ;P

Flow of mind or the lack there of. A while back I wrote a funny note on my mind having too many tabs open. Oddly enough, that was not fiction but fact. I do like to dabble more on the fiction than the fact side, never getting too personal, but I have a warm feeling inside of me. Guess I am safe as long as it doesn’t run down my legs! But so far so good.

So, back to fact or fiction, was that what I was talking about? No, it was the thing of too many things occupying the brain at one point, hence the tabs and open thing. OK, back on track. So yes. That actually has a link to the ever so talked about writer’s block. The only blockage I have or have had for the past fifty odd years is or was the fact that I do censor myself, a lot. I have so many ideas, causing my mind to overflow.

Currently, as I started my writing life for the third and hopefully charmed time, I will let myself write what ever I want, who ever I want and where ever I want. Sans all the self doubt, drama and excuses. Oh my! Now I am finally getting serious! I actually got a little serious there a day or so back when I poured my heart and thoughts to a few darker poems. I admit I use humour as a cover and rather than dwelling on real life issues, I crack a joke.

I freely admit to the following personality traits: I am sarcastic, pessimistic, I have a warped sense of humour, I am spontaneous yet conscious, I am lazy, but also industrious, at least when work is concerned, personal life not so much. So now you know. I like to hide but remain right in the open. I talk a lot, but say nothing.

Back to the topic again, (I seem to be loosing the track now constantly), what ever that was, I actually forgot at this point. Oh yes, free flow of the mind. So not a jogy, not a Vulcan, not logical, just your average everyday humanoid being. So that is my life story or sort of story. At least what I came up with today. I guess this is more than four hundred words. I don’t know how much of myself I have revealed in this little mind tale, but read between the lines or over the lines. Somewhere there, between, lies the truth.

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More Tales of the Unexpected…

Throwback Thursday 2016-01-28

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“Just an FYI: Thursday the 12th is just as rare at Friday the 13th.”

Throwback Thursday 2016-01-28

Each Thursday we walk down memory lane and dig deeply into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind. For these posts, I have chosen some of my personal favourites. Some of them may tickle the funny bone, some even provoke thoughts and some of them will give you a view of the world in photographs taken by yours truly.

Here are a few featured today for your enjoyment today:

 
The Devil only asked for my Little Finger, but stole my Whole Hand (Repost TBT)

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Fool me Once, or a Few more Times (Repost TBT)

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I need a Different Tune to Sing to (Repost TBT)

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Let the Rantings continue!!!
tbt