Back in Time for the Daily Post

Posted in the Daily Post : In The Style Of : Tales of the odd and unexpected

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“When I was kid, my social network was called ‘outside’ “

Back in Time

This is the work one of pure fiction. Neither polar bears nor reindeer were harmed in the creation of this literary process!
The year was 1924.

Longitude and latitude: Somewhere up north, thataway! The Finnish Lapland would probably be the most accurate location for this tale.

How old was I?

I guess I was somewhere between ten and twelve years of age. In those days, people were born and they died. No one really bothered with the record keeping. Lord knows there were plenty of us to go around.

Despite the fact it was close to midsummer, there was still snow on the ground. The reindeer and polar bears were roaming the streets while us kids were running around, having snowball fights. That is, during the minimum spare time we had between school, chores and work. Sleeping in those days was a luxury. Sometimes we had a full night’s sleep, sometimes the watch duty fell on my plate and I needed to stay up all night. Luckily, coffee had been invented ten years prior and we were all pretty much hooked on the sweet dark liquid.

Our housing for the winter months was an igloo, which the whole family constructed out of ice. Snow was used as plaster to fill in any holes between the blocks of ice. During the summer time, we had a tent like structure made out of bear and deer skin. Unfortunately all of us favoured the winter dwelling for one simple fact: The summer house stunk like a skunk. The choice of material was not a good one, but then, it was depression and all commodities were scarce.

The trip to school, either winter or summer time was made on skis and it was part to the exercise curriculum for all of us still eligible for the classes. A twenty kilometer trip back and forth was not a big deal and was building the strength and endurance nicely. This also came in handy for our after school activities. Some of us went to work in the coal mines, while others were herding rein deer or taking care of their younger siblings.

Each Saturday the Sauna was heated and all the family gathered into the cramped little room, heated up to eighty degrees. We were sitting all butt cheek to butt cheek in the nude on a wooden construct in the small dark room. Only the burning fire in the stove gave some lighting. As a luffa, a loosely tied bunch of birch tree branches with leaves on them was used. Out mother pummeled us with the concoction and me thinks she enjoyed it a little too much. Granted we children gave her grieve sometimes, so I will give her that.

Bathing for us then meant taking dips in the icy, below freezing waters. This, after we had first heated our body temperatures close to baking. Then we ran naked to the lake, where a large hole had been dug into the ice and plunged in.

All in all life was pretty ordinary and uneventful in my childhood, apart from the minor quirks.

Do I miss it? My childhood?

I would rather spend my next holiday on a labour camp!

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Tales of the Odd and Unexpected for Throwback Thursday

Posted in the Throwback Thursday: Tales of the Odd and Unexpected

“The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks”

Tales of the Odd and Unexpected for Throwback Thursday

While digging through the archives after Halloween, I found these tales of the odd and unexpected for your enjoyment for this weeks Throwback Thursday serial: Happy reading!

Tales of the Odd and Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind): Part One

Tales of the Odd and Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind): Part Two

It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race!

TBT CASETTE; IPOD

It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race for Tales of the Odd and Unexpected (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday: Tales of the Odd and Unexpected

Dame Edna Everage Tour

“We are all born naked and the rest is Drag” – RuPaul

It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race!

This is Ixavier Lasloth coming live from the Galaxy near you!

Our news team is currently orbiting a small bluish rock in the farthest corner of the known universe. We are here to observe the supposedly dominant occupants of this planet they have named “Earth”. These people seem to be involved in something called the “human race”, although as to where and when the race will take place is still unclear.

We are here to observe the ritualistic behaviour of this particular species, whose skin colour is varying from a pinkish hue to darker brown shade or sometimes even red. Some of them are covered in a thick fur like layer, while others remain neutral and satisfied in their original skin.

We are in disguise to avoid any panic our strange appearance may cause in the inhabitants.

Upon closer inspection, we can clearly detect at least two distinctive sexes, but there may be more.

Although most of these creatures seem to be content in their existence, some of them rebel against the existing norm. These individuals have ventured to live their lives with their own set of rules and formed tight knit groups and living off the radar. These “outsiders” worship their heroes in an almost religious fashion.

This exceptional behaviour is the reason, why this reporter landed on this forsaken rock and decided to have a closer look.

After making contact with some of these “radical groups”, we were fortunate enough to get invited to observe one of their many rituals. The core group and their followers call themselves “De-rag Q-ueens.

We were invited to observe their masking ritual, reserved for the most elite individuals of the group. The “males” as we got to know them were performing an age old ceremony named the “drag race”.

Observing the ritual to a fault, there is a strict regime to follow:

The first step is to apply a thick layer of paint on the face. The next step is to add a head piece, which seems like a construct of some sort of animal hair. These headpieces come in every imaginative colour of the rainbow. To complete the transformation, a garment weaved with glittering items is pulled over the top half of the body. The feet are covered with footwear constructed from a leathery material and with an added feature, which seems to give the wearer more height.

When the total transformation from “male” to “female” was complete, it was time to “put on a show”.

The Q-ueens lined up and started walking in orderly fashion on what seemed to be a structure of wooden planks they had named the “cat walk”. A rhythmic beat followed by electrical lights flashing caused the Q-ueens to start producing sounds from their throats causing melodic sounds coming out from their mouths. This ritual was of a repetitive nature, where the melodies and sounds varied depending on the individual performing them. The “show” continued and the partakers managed to change their attire several times over before the ceremony was over.

All in all while observing this religious ritual in all its glory, this reporter found oneself caught in the moment; cheering and applauding at the end of the ceremony, which luckily was the accepted social convention.

While trying to get more in-depth information as to what the origin of this particular ritual was, I was fortunate to interview one of the elders among them. And the message, quite clear and directly quoted:

“We may be born naked, but surely the rest needs to be drag”
In this reporter’s opinion, this may be one of the more successful stories of Earth.

Until next time, this is Ixavier Lasloth, signing off!

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Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (Second Batch)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – St. Augustine

Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (Second Batch)

On Thursdays, we walk down memory lane and dig deeply into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind. For these posts, I have chosen some of my personal favourites. Some of them may tickle the funny bone, some even provoke thoughts and some of them will give you a view of the world in photographs taken by yours truly.

Today’s posts have been dedicated to my original Travel Log from a year ago, while visiting the beautiful island of Rhodes in Greece. This weeks theme; history, but mainly rest, relaxation and Greek salad: Enjoy!

Gun’s Travel Diary: Greece – Rhodes Island: Parts eleven through fourteen

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Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (First Batch)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” – Mark Twain

Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (First Part)

On Thursdays, we walk down memory lane and dig deeply into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind. For these posts, I have chosen some of my personal favourites. Some of them may tickle the funny bone, some even provoke thoughts and some of them will give you a view of the world in photographs taken by yours truly.

Today’s posts have been dedicated to my original Travel Log from a year ago, while visiting the beautiful island of Rhodes in Greece. Enjoy!

Gun’s Travel Diary: Greece – Rhodes Island: Parts one through nine

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Pirate Thursday for Throwback Thursday (2016-07-28)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island” Walt Disney

Pirate Thursday for Throwback Thursday

On Thursdays, we walk down memory lane and dig deeply into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind. For these posts, I have chosen some of my personal favourites. Some of them may tickle the funny bone, some even provoke thoughts and some of them will give you a view of the world in photographs taken by yours truly.

Today’s posts have been dedicated to my original series, which I started as a challenge and then I decided to continue with the storyline. Which story you ask? Well, you may have stumbled upon it before; it’s a little tale called The Treasure Hunters. I will also be continuing this story each Sunday in a new series called “Serial Sunday Presents“.

Enjoy!

This is what has happened so far:

The Treasure Hunters: Introduction
The Treasure Hunters: Part One
The Treasure Hunters: Part Two
The Treasure Hunters: Part Three
The Treasure Hunters: Part Four

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The Treasure Hunters: Part Four

Posted in the Throwback Thursday and Serial Sunday Presents

“Time travel … will never be impossible forever”

Treasure Hunters: Part Four

“Welcome on board!” The cabin boy said to me. It was actually the first time I heard him speak and I was surprised he sounded more like a girl than a young boy.

“Thank you!” I think. I just wasn’t sure.

The crew had finally turned in for the evening. Or rather passed out in various places around the court yard, which also served as the dining area with its large table setting. In the middle, the fountain was set up and it was circulating fresh water. A quality I at least appreciated. After all the rum, it was a nice and certainly refreshing welcome. Today had turned out a cloudless sunny day and despite the nice and warm climate, it was still a little too hot for my taste.

Tonight’s event had been an interesting one to say the least, with all the dirty jokes flying around and chanting of sea related songs. The drinking had been nothing if not heavy and the chalices were passed around frequently. Everyone, including us minors, were expected to take part in the festivities. From an outsider’s perspective, it seemed like a text book cliché of how the pirates behaved, at least so far.

From what I had found out, this safe harbour was shared by several crews. It seemed the pirates were well organized and there wasn’t too much fighting going on between the various groups. At least not when a meal and rum was shared.

I had managed to get into the sleeping quarters and was now standing in the window watching, as the last of the crewmen dozed off. Luckily for me, my bunk mates for the evening were all passed out and lying outside, meaning I had the room for myself for tonight. Lord knows I could use a good night’s sleep. After today’s events, namely being whisked off to what seemed back in time. Walking barefoot for miles on end and to top it all, spending the evening participating in pirate festivities, were starting to take a toll on me. I may have looked like a young cabin boy, but inside I still felt like the middle aged old me.

I closed my eyes and I wondered if, when waking up again, I would be back home and realizing this, what ever this was, had all been a dream. After all, it all seemed so unreal. I listened to all the strange sounds for a while, before sleep caught up with me.

To be continued…

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The Treasure Hunters: Part Three

Posted in the Throwback Thursday and Serial Sunday Presents

“A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid” J. R. R. Tolkien

The Treasure Hunters: Part Three

My feet were not used to running barefoot, and I could feel each and every little stick and stone along the path. I just hoped we would reach our destination, soon.

The little rag tag group formed of myself and the recently acquainted pirates finally reached the camp. From what I could tell, realistically, the hike up the hill could not have been more than a few kilometres. Unfortunately it felt more like a marathon to me and my poor bare feet. What I would have given for a foot bath and a massage right now!

I was seated by a tall wooden table, sitting on the hard bench. A person, who obviously seemed to be a cabin boy, had brought a bowl of some sort of grub and a chalice filled with what tasted like wine. OK, so this was no gourmet meal. Certainly no competition for any fast food meal I had eaten in the past either. But at this point, hearing my stomach growling, I would have settled for a bowl of cooked stones. I could not believe how unbelievable hungry I actually was.

“So, Lad, which boat did you serve on?” The Captain, sitting on the other end of the table, asked me.

“I um, ” Come on think, think, I was telling myself. It had been a while since I watched any films, especially those of adventure and pirates! Then it hit me: “The Black Pearl, Sir!” Nice save dumb ass I told myself.

The Captain looked puzzled for a while before he replied, “The Black Pearl? I don’t recall a ship by that name. What was the name of your Captain, Lad?” He ogled me suspiciously.

“Sparrow, Sir, Captain Sparrow.” I tried to pull the best innocent look on my face I could muster. It sure had worked before. At least when I was still me that is.

“Sparrow, Sparrow…” The Captain repeated thoughtfully, rubbing his beard in the process. Then he stopped and looked at me, or rather right through me. He let out a laugh: “I do recall a Captain Sparrow. Tough as nails! No wonder you are on the run!”

So, the little white lie sank in! Great! But now, the Captain believed me to be a runaway. I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing at this point. After a moment of silence, staring at my feet, trying to look guilty as the suspect of being on the run, I looked up.

“Yes, he was. That’s why I left.”

“And I suppose you are looking for a new hiring?” The Captain asked, this time very politely.

Well, I guess I was looking for a job. I had nothing but the clothes on my back, no shoes, no food. So yes, I needed a job, a place to stay and the means to find my way back.

“Yes.” I replied simply.

The cabin boy had been filling the drinks and as he had heard the Captain’s comments asking me about the job, he looked at me, smirked and gave me a wink.

“Well, laddie,” The Captain replied, “You look like you are made of a stern stuff. Consider yourself hired!”

I had no idea what I had gotten myself into, but come what may, I was now officially a pirate!

“Thank you, Sir!” Good thing I had been watching a lot of television and movies in the past. I at least had some idea of how the people talked in the past. At least I hoped the Hollywood types had not taken too many artistic liberties!

“Welcome on board!” The cabin boy said to me. It was actually the first time I heard him speak and I was surprised he sounded more like a girl than a young boy.

“Thank you!” I think. I just wasn’t sure.

To be continued…

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The Treasure Hunters: Part Two

Posted in the Throwback Thursday and Serial Sunday Presents

“There is more treasure in books, than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island”

The Treasure Hunters: Part Two

I started slowly walking towards the ship. It would be my best option to get more info on what was going on. Just hoping these people, who ever they were, would be the friendly sort.

“Ahoy there!” I shouted and waved my hand as I approached the crew of the ship.

Who obviously was the Captain and the two crewmen standing beside him, turned and looked at me. They then looked at each other, obviously surprised of my presence.

“Who are you and where do you come from lad?” The Captain asked me.

‘Lad?’ I must have also changed appearance and sex since my transportation or teleportation or what ever it was that got me here in the first place. I was thoughtful and tried to choose my words carefully before answering them so not to reveal myself or my origins.

“Hi, I mean top of the morning to you Sirs!”

I had to remember I was considered ‘a lad’ and that to the best of my knowledge meant a young man or teenage boy. Of course without a mirror I could not tell what my face looked like, but judging from my clothing, the Captain was right on spot.

“I was wondering if you could tell me where exactly I am.” I was thinking of a quick cover story, “It seems I bumped my head after a fall and seem to have lost all sense of direction.” I mock rubbed my forehead to convey the now oddly staring crew members where I had been hurt.

The Captain took a step closer to me and stood staring for a moment. I could smell the rum on his breath and was sure he did not buy my story. I managed to hold my stance and stared right back at him, trying to keep an innocent look on my face. After a few moments, during which I felt I would pee myself soon enough if the Captain would not stop his piercing stare.

All of a sudden, he burst into laughter. He patted me on my shoulder and turned towards his crew.

“Come on men, let’s get the lad some assistance here.” He ordered his men and turned back to me asking.

“Are you hungry lad?”

I nodded. After all I had missed lunch, running most of the day on coffee only.

“OK, then. Come with us and we’ll fill your belly with some grub. I’ll have the doctor check your forehead. That looks a very nasty gush you have there son.”

I was surprised, since I was not aware I had any wounds on me. I looked at my hand I had been rubbing my forehead with and as I looked at it, there was blood on it. I was shocked and felt a little dizzy. Blood was not something I could deal with lightly.

The Captain laughed. “Come on lad, don’t faint before we get you to our camp.” He then waved to one of the crewmen, who quickly came and offered to support me.

“Thank you!” I answered briefly and the crewman just nodded as we all left for the camp.

I could not help wondering how my little white lie had turned into reality. Maybe I was dreaming in some elaborate way where I was in control. I was planning on testing my theory once we reached the camp, since currently I had trouble keeping up with the others’ pace, let alone think of anything else. My feet were not used to running barefoot, and I could feel each and every little stick and stone along the path. I just hoped we would reach our destination, soon.

To be continued…

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The Treasure Hunters: Part One

Posted in the Throwback Thursday and Serial Sunday Presents

“Not all treasure‘s silver and gold, mate”
Jack Sparrow, Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl

The Treasure Hunters: Part One

It was just another day at the office. The lost and found box weekly walk through task had fallen on my desk this week. Procrastinating on starting the tedious job, I decided to get a refill for my coffee and take the box to an empty meeting room and sort out the lot there on the conference table.

I was starting with the task at hand, pulling each item and sorting them to their respective piles on the table. An odd glove, an empty wallet, a photo frame with a photo of a Disneyland visit, a few coins, when a crumpled piece of paper caught my eye.

I picked it up, curious, because the paper was yellow and thick, nothing like the printer papers we used for the office. It seemed older and more delicate somehow. I carefully unfolded the lump in my hand, and bit by bit, I had it fully open and spread in front of me. I could not believe my eyes.

The X marks the spot indeed; I was looking at what seemed to be, a treasure map and a price to seek.

I kept staring at the map in front of me, wondering if it was someone’s idea of a joke or the real deal. As I stared deeper and deeper into the mysterious map, I felt a dizziness and suddenly, I was surrounded by thick fog. A whooshing sound and there I was, standing on a beach, transported to an unfamiliar place.

The sun was shining warmly, seagulls above me, screeching. The waves gently rolling across the sand. I, myself, barefoot, dressed in fashion resembling an eighteenth century cabin boy. This was a completely different outfit to what I had been wearing before, not to mention the lack of footwear.

I scanned the distance and saw a tall ship. The crew was getting ashore and carrying many a boxes. The men were dressed in similar old fashion clothing I was and oddly enough, the whole set up resembled a scene from a pirate film.

I wondered whether my eyes were deceiving me, had I fallen asleep and was dreaming or had I just lost it all together. I pinched myself and felt the pain. “Great!” I said out loud in a sarcastic tone. Either I had stumbled into a wormhole or other dimension, this was actually real!

I started slowly walking towards the ship. It would be my best option to get more info on what was going on. Just hoping these people, who ever they were, would be the friendly sort.

To be continued…

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