The Observer for the Daily Post

Posted in the Daily Post : In The Style Of : Tales of the odd and unexpected

“There’s no way to remove the observer – us – from our perceptions of the world” Stephen Hawking

The Observer

I was sitting in the coffee shop, my well-deserved latte in front of me. I was content in emerging into my daily readings on my tablet, but for some reason my eyes kept wandering to the hassle in the bar. Patrons were leaving and new ones were stepping into the shop.

‘Why not!’ I thought. I could play the part of the observer for a little while before continuing my own tasks. Who knows, maybe I would pick up an idea or two for my next writing project.

Sipping my coffee, I noticed the young couple in the corner booth. They were enjoying each others’ company, looking each other in the eye, no words were spoken. New love was in the air.

Feeling like a peeping Tom, I search for something else to gaze upon. My eyes were scanning the room and landed on a woman with three offspring. The mother was deep in thought, or so it seemed, reading the newspaper while her children were throwing napkins, straws and other small items at each other. I wondered how she managed to turn off the surroundings. The patrons at the next table however were not so lucky. Shaking their heads, they grabbed their orders and moved to another table at the farther end the coffee shop.

I laughed a little at the scene played out before me. Good thing I had been thinking ahead and chose the solitary spot close to the windows in the corner. I had a clear view of the whole establishment, but I was also able to concentrate on my reading if I wanted to.

I thought to seek out one more scene before tuning myself out. I noticed the waitresses behind the bar having a heated conversation. I was not able to hear what they were talking about, but clearly the other one was angry about something and kept on ranting, while the other one was just listening in. Wide eyed, nodding every now and again. The angry one was waving her arms in the air, while the quiet one remained stationary, her hands seemed almost glued to her sides. It seemed from an observer’s perspective, the ranter was in charge in that particular relationship, while the listener did just that and probably agreed to everything the ranter told her.

I lost my interest after a little while and noticed the coffee house getting emptier. Guess the rush was over and I could get back to my reading.

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A Room With A View for the Daily Post

Posted in the Daily Post : In The Style Of : Tales of the odd and unexpected

“A place belongs forever to whoever claims it hardest, remembers it most obsessively, wrenches it from itself, shapes it, renders it, loves it so radically that he remakes it in his own image.” – Joan Didion 

A Room with a View

We had been driving for a while, not sure whether this road we were on, would lead us to the right place. Everything was different now. What once were wide open fields and forest, had now transformed into a mini suburbia. It was difficult to navigate by only old images serving as maps for the familiar road taken some forty years ago.

“There, take a turn here!” I pointed out to the direction looking to lead to were I wanted to go.

The car swerved and after a moment, I started recognizing familiar landmarks, still standing after all these years despite the changes. The big boulder standing proudly at the very edge of the ledge. As
kids we use to play and re-enact our favourite TV shows, pretending the rock was part of an alien planet.

Driving further and deeper into the woods, the distances between houses were getting longer and soon I was able to see recognize some of the places long since forgotten. We had finally arrived.

Stepping out of the car I noticed the neighbours’ house was still standing on the accompanying lot, still as run down as it had been all those years ago. I wondered if anyone actually lived there anymore.

Looking at the empty spot where our home had been, I could still see some of the rocks which had been part of the foundation of the house once standing proud, laying scattered After neglect and abandonment, the run down building had finally been demolished.

I walked around in the tall grass, feeling nostalgic and remembering how it used to be. As I closed my eyes I am transported back to the old house, my playhouse, the house I was born in.

It was a warm summer’s day. I could smell the freshly cut grass and see all the flowers in bloom. The field surrounding the house was filled with yellow, the colour of dandelions.

As kids, it was really fun to blow off the seeds when the flowers had bloomed and were ready to pollinate. Little did we know we were actually helping the flowers to spread. They looked like skydivers as they slowly landed on the ground.

I turned and looked at my home, the raw wooden exterior, no creature comforts, such as running water or toilets. The outhouse was a little farther up the hill, covered by tall trees and bushes. Someone probably thought it would be a good place to hide it, so the onlookers would not find out the people actually went to the toilet in those days.

As I moved closer, I saw my grandmother sitting in the swing. She loved that swing. She sat there for hours on end, watching us kids play in the yard. I waved to her and continue inside. I was thirsty and I knew there was a pitcher of cool lemonade in the kitchen. In those days a refrigerator was a luxury and we did not have one.

To keep things cool, there were sort of holes or wells dug into to the ground, filled with cool ground water. The food was then put into a bucket and lowered into the hole. Our kitchen had one in the middle of the floor and it was handy especially during hot days like this one was.

The house itself was small, two bedrooms, a living room and the kitchen. There was electricity coming into the house, for lamps and such. And of course to the piece de resistance, the television. The only one in a ten mile radius. The neighbour kids and I used to gather in the house every Sunday afternoon to watch our favourite TV show, Thunderbirds. Even grandfather sat with us kids and watched the show in awe.

As I entered the house, I walked through a small foyer: It was really a tiny space between two doors before actually entering the inside of the house. When guests arrived, there usually was a queue waiting for entry into the house. Each in turn taking off their shoes, leaving them in the foyer and then entering.

I quickly stepped out of my clogs and entered the kitchen. The opposite wall was filled with cupboards and a sink. And of course no running water nor sewers. The long kitchen table surrounded by twelve chairs dominated the room. At Christmas and holidays we used to gather around it with family and friends.

I went to the “well” and opened the hatch. Hoisting the bucket up and taking one bottle. Putting the bucket back, closing the hatch. Walking to the cupboards, I took two glasses out. Satisfied I carried my items outside to where my grandmother was sitting.

After pouring the cool lemonade in the glasses and offering one to my grandmother, I sat down in the swing beside her. Letting the gentle swing and the warm summer breeze lull me into sleep.

After for what seemed an eternity, I finally opened my eyes and I was back in the present. The grass still green, field still filled with yellow dandelions, smiling at the warm memories of childhood and my trip back in time.

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Is there any Figgy Puddin’ left? for the Daily Post

Posted in the Daily Post : In The Style Of : Tales of the odd and unexpected

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” Charles Dickens

Is there any Figgy Puddin’ left?

The year was 1845. I was about ten years of age and working as a stable girl. Our family lived and worked in Lord Hamilton’s manor house. It was Christmas time and as a gift for the servants, the Lord arranged a feast for the staff and their families.

Mommy had the children dressed in their Sunday best. My two brothers were complaining about the stiffness of the shirts. Starch was itchy and could cause rash, especially if one scratched the itch.
I had my favourite dress on and my younger sister was a bit jealous of the red and green colouring. She was wearing a plain blue coloured hand me down.

After all the fuzz and hassle with the wardrobe, the whole family was finally set to go to the main house and start with the Christmas dinner. Us servants would be dining in the large kitchen. Several long tables were brought in with extra seats as well. This wasn’t a large household. With around fifteen servants and their families, well not all had children and spouses, all in all around sixty people in total crammed around the tables. The two cooks had had their hands full with the preparations and naturally every one that could had chipped in.

But now it was time for celebration. Everyone was finally sitting down and getting quiet. After grace the noise level rose again. Food containers were passed around and everyone was filling their respective plates. After all, it wasn’t often we got to eat in this manner and variety.

After a while, everyone had cleared their plates and it was time for dessert. My favourite was the Figgy Pudding. If possible I opted for seconds. As I got my plate of the delicious substance before me, I licked my lips and dug into it with gusto. It did not take too long for the food to disappear from my plate.

My mom looked at me with a smirk. I looked back at her and passing my bowl I asked: “Is there any Figgy Puddin’ left?”

I was smiling widely, feeling exhilarated, when the bowl was passed back to me with an other helping.

When the final bits were eaten, it was time for the traditional sing along. The farmhand brought out his accordion and after the first few tunes, we all joined in. The evening was spent singing, chatting and finally picking up the tables. We all went back to our dwellings, thanking the Lord for the special meal.

Merry Pudding and God bless us everyone!

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Back in Time for the Daily Post

Posted in the Daily Post : In The Style Of : Tales of the odd and unexpected

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“When I was kid, my social network was called ‘outside’ “

Back in Time

This is the work one of pure fiction. Neither polar bears nor reindeer were harmed in the creation of this literary process!
The year was 1924.

Longitude and latitude: Somewhere up north, thataway! The Finnish Lapland would probably be the most accurate location for this tale.

How old was I?

I guess I was somewhere between ten and twelve years of age. In those days, people were born and they died. No one really bothered with the record keeping. Lord knows there were plenty of us to go around.

Despite the fact it was close to midsummer, there was still snow on the ground. The reindeer and polar bears were roaming the streets while us kids were running around, having snowball fights. That is, during the minimum spare time we had between school, chores and work. Sleeping in those days was a luxury. Sometimes we had a full night’s sleep, sometimes the watch duty fell on my plate and I needed to stay up all night. Luckily, coffee had been invented ten years prior and we were all pretty much hooked on the sweet dark liquid.

Our housing for the winter months was an igloo, which the whole family constructed out of ice. Snow was used as plaster to fill in any holes between the blocks of ice. During the summer time, we had a tent like structure made out of bear and deer skin. Unfortunately all of us favoured the winter dwelling for one simple fact: The summer house stunk like a skunk. The choice of material was not a good one, but then, it was depression and all commodities were scarce.

The trip to school, either winter or summer time was made on skis and it was part to the exercise curriculum for all of us still eligible for the classes. A twenty kilometer trip back and forth was not a big deal and was building the strength and endurance nicely. This also came in handy for our after school activities. Some of us went to work in the coal mines, while others were herding rein deer or taking care of their younger siblings.

Each Saturday the Sauna was heated and all the family gathered into the cramped little room, heated up to eighty degrees. We were sitting all butt cheek to butt cheek in the nude on a wooden construct in the small dark room. Only the burning fire in the stove gave some lighting. As a luffa, a loosely tied bunch of birch tree branches with leaves on them was used. Out mother pummeled us with the concoction and me thinks she enjoyed it a little too much. Granted we children gave her grieve sometimes, so I will give her that.

Bathing for us then meant taking dips in the icy, below freezing waters. This, after we had first heated our body temperatures close to baking. Then we ran naked to the lake, where a large hole had been dug into the ice and plunged in.

All in all life was pretty ordinary and uneventful in my childhood, apart from the minor quirks.

Do I miss it? My childhood?

I would rather spend my next holiday on a labour camp!

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Tales of the Odd and Unexpected for Throwback Thursday

Posted in the Throwback Thursday: Tales of the Odd and Unexpected

“The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks”

Tales of the Odd and Unexpected for Throwback Thursday

While digging through the archives after Halloween, I found these tales of the odd and unexpected for your enjoyment for this weeks Throwback Thursday serial: Happy reading!

Tales of the Odd and Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind): Part One

Tales of the Odd and Unexpected (or what ever floats in my mind): Part Two

It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race!

TBT CASETTE; IPOD

It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race for Tales of the Odd and Unexpected (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday: Tales of the Odd and Unexpected

Dame Edna Everage Tour

“We are all born naked and the rest is Drag” – RuPaul

It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race!

This is Ixavier Lasloth coming live from the Galaxy near you!

Our news team is currently orbiting a small bluish rock in the farthest corner of the known universe. We are here to observe the supposedly dominant occupants of this planet they have named “Earth”. These people seem to be involved in something called the “human race”, although as to where and when the race will take place is still unclear.

We are here to observe the ritualistic behaviour of this particular species, whose skin colour is varying from a pinkish hue to darker brown shade or sometimes even red. Some of them are covered in a thick fur like layer, while others remain neutral and satisfied in their original skin.

We are in disguise to avoid any panic our strange appearance may cause in the inhabitants.

Upon closer inspection, we can clearly detect at least two distinctive sexes, but there may be more.

Although most of these creatures seem to be content in their existence, some of them rebel against the existing norm. These individuals have ventured to live their lives with their own set of rules and formed tight knit groups and living off the radar. These “outsiders” worship their heroes in an almost religious fashion.

This exceptional behaviour is the reason, why this reporter landed on this forsaken rock and decided to have a closer look.

After making contact with some of these “radical groups”, we were fortunate enough to get invited to observe one of their many rituals. The core group and their followers call themselves “De-rag Q-ueens.

We were invited to observe their masking ritual, reserved for the most elite individuals of the group. The “males” as we got to know them were performing an age old ceremony named the “drag race”.

Observing the ritual to a fault, there is a strict regime to follow:

The first step is to apply a thick layer of paint on the face. The next step is to add a head piece, which seems like a construct of some sort of animal hair. These headpieces come in every imaginative colour of the rainbow. To complete the transformation, a garment weaved with glittering items is pulled over the top half of the body. The feet are covered with footwear constructed from a leathery material and with an added feature, which seems to give the wearer more height.

When the total transformation from “male” to “female” was complete, it was time to “put on a show”.

The Q-ueens lined up and started walking in orderly fashion on what seemed to be a structure of wooden planks they had named the “cat walk”. A rhythmic beat followed by electrical lights flashing caused the Q-ueens to start producing sounds from their throats causing melodic sounds coming out from their mouths. This ritual was of a repetitive nature, where the melodies and sounds varied depending on the individual performing them. The “show” continued and the partakers managed to change their attire several times over before the ceremony was over.

All in all while observing this religious ritual in all its glory, this reporter found oneself caught in the moment; cheering and applauding at the end of the ceremony, which luckily was the accepted social convention.

While trying to get more in-depth information as to what the origin of this particular ritual was, I was fortunate to interview one of the elders among them. And the message, quite clear and directly quoted:

“We may be born naked, but surely the rest needs to be drag”
In this reporter’s opinion, this may be one of the more successful stories of Earth.

Until next time, this is Ixavier Lasloth, signing off!

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Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (Second Batch)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – St. Augustine

Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (Second Batch)

On Thursdays, we walk down memory lane and dig deeply into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind. For these posts, I have chosen some of my personal favourites. Some of them may tickle the funny bone, some even provoke thoughts and some of them will give you a view of the world in photographs taken by yours truly.

Today’s posts have been dedicated to my original Travel Log from a year ago, while visiting the beautiful island of Rhodes in Greece. This weeks theme; history, but mainly rest, relaxation and Greek salad: Enjoy!

Gun’s Travel Diary: Greece – Rhodes Island: Parts eleven through fourteen

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Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (First Batch)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

areal-view

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” – Mark Twain

Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (First Part)

On Thursdays, we walk down memory lane and dig deeply into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind. For these posts, I have chosen some of my personal favourites. Some of them may tickle the funny bone, some even provoke thoughts and some of them will give you a view of the world in photographs taken by yours truly.

Today’s posts have been dedicated to my original Travel Log from a year ago, while visiting the beautiful island of Rhodes in Greece. Enjoy!

Gun’s Travel Diary: Greece – Rhodes Island: Parts one through nine

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Pirate Thursday for Throwback Thursday (2016-07-28)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island” Walt Disney

Pirate Thursday for Throwback Thursday

On Thursdays, we walk down memory lane and dig deeply into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind. For these posts, I have chosen some of my personal favourites. Some of them may tickle the funny bone, some even provoke thoughts and some of them will give you a view of the world in photographs taken by yours truly.

Today’s posts have been dedicated to my original series, which I started as a challenge and then I decided to continue with the storyline. Which story you ask? Well, you may have stumbled upon it before; it’s a little tale called The Treasure Hunters. I will also be continuing this story each Sunday in a new series called “Serial Sunday Presents“.

Enjoy!

This is what has happened so far:

The Treasure Hunters: Introduction
The Treasure Hunters: Part One
The Treasure Hunters: Part Two
The Treasure Hunters: Part Three
The Treasure Hunters: Part Four

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The Treasure Hunters: Part Four

Posted in the Throwback Thursday and Serial Sunday Presents

“Time travel … will never be impossible forever”

Treasure Hunters: Part Four

“Welcome on board!” The cabin boy said to me. It was actually the first time I heard him speak and I was surprised he sounded more like a girl than a young boy.

“Thank you!” I think. I just wasn’t sure.

The crew had finally turned in for the evening. Or rather passed out in various places around the court yard, which also served as the dining area with its large table setting. In the middle, the fountain was set up and it was circulating fresh water. A quality I at least appreciated. After all the rum, it was a nice and certainly refreshing welcome. Today had turned out a cloudless sunny day and despite the nice and warm climate, it was still a little too hot for my taste.

Tonight’s event had been an interesting one to say the least, with all the dirty jokes flying around and chanting of sea related songs. The drinking had been nothing if not heavy and the chalices were passed around frequently. Everyone, including us minors, were expected to take part in the festivities. From an outsider’s perspective, it seemed like a text book cliché of how the pirates behaved, at least so far.

From what I had found out, this safe harbour was shared by several crews. It seemed the pirates were well organized and there wasn’t too much fighting going on between the various groups. At least not when a meal and rum was shared.

I had managed to get into the sleeping quarters and was now standing in the window watching, as the last of the crewmen dozed off. Luckily for me, my bunk mates for the evening were all passed out and lying outside, meaning I had the room for myself for tonight. Lord knows I could use a good night’s sleep. After today’s events, namely being whisked off to what seemed back in time. Walking barefoot for miles on end and to top it all, spending the evening participating in pirate festivities, were starting to take a toll on me. I may have looked like a young cabin boy, but inside I still felt like the middle aged old me.

I closed my eyes and I wondered if, when waking up again, I would be back home and realizing this, what ever this was, had all been a dream. After all, it all seemed so unreal. I listened to all the strange sounds for a while, before sleep caught up with me.

To be continued…

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