Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless little bitch aren’t thee?!

Posted on by

Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless little bitch aren’t thee?!

“I thought the whole point of growing older was to grow wiser, not wider! The first thing ain’t happening but the second one sure is! Goodness knows we are so lacking wisdom in this world, so what gives???” Gun Roswell

Oh Gravity!

I trusted you, ya know
I thought we were the best of friends
Forever I mean, heaven sent and all that jazz of a kink
But ya sure fooled me, didn’t ya!
Cause this ain’t no ship, friend or otherwise!
And I’ll bet my shiny fat derrière you’re sitting out there somewhere
Laughing your respective one off just ’cause I’m getting all the wider!

Didn’t I do all the things ya requested?
Ya know, when I was so much younger and…. Well?
Fasted, toned, honed, ran, whatever fad there was I did do to keep things… fit?
Having them perky edges, standing rather than never around to sit?Starving more likely!
No liquor, no snacks, no sweets, certainly less food… no nuttin’!
Not one single good thing consumed, just illin’!

And so, finally, here is were I stopped
The age slowly seeping in and I ain’t singing!

So yeah, wider!

Gravity, you’re now pullin’ me every which way
Cannot seem to keep my body in one single shape?

Most days waking up with a loud huff and puff
Feeling like a broken down collectable doll or some such
Fitting each part to their constraints
The shatnerish contraptions holding me together in on place
Pulling, pushing, squeezing, nudging, whatever trick to simply fit!
Finally managing to a somewhat of a human form
Guess not really the regular or the norm

But what the hey!
If I can still stand up straight, do the walk
Then yeah, I beat you!
At least for this day!

Age

Posted on by

“With age comes wisdom… Yeah, right! So not true! I am as stupid as I have ever been.” Gun Roswell


Age

“Years just keep passing by… twenty-nine, twenty-nine, twenty-nine…
Oh, wait, what year is this?
Holy shit, I am over fifty… one, two… Oh, never mind!”

Age is just a number and all the rest of the cliches, which all those nice quotes in cards keep telling me. Feeding me, with false sense of hope, that getting older, and even each dammed year (unfortunately, like Mondays, which pop up every week, birthdays too creep around the corner each year, no matter how hard you try to deny them, or push them away) will somehow make me wiser, more comfortable, more mature, more of everything really. But, all I feel, still, is the same insecure little toddler I was all those years ago (no, still not counting).
But, here I still am, waiting, patiently (read impatiently) for the promises of age to come true. Should I maybe someone sue?

“Act your age!”

Another thing I do hear a lot too. So, when I ask the person who just scolded me.

“How old do you think I am?”

They just stare at me and don’t really know the answer to that. Well, imagine the shock when I reply.

“I am nineteen.”

After some consideration, the response might be something like.

“Oh, well, looks like you really had a rough life then.” or “A tad of the weary side, or rundown maybe.”

So, what,
If I am feeling like a youngster in my wanna be teenage fashionable clothes and, then, making jokes, suited for a person, of a middle school level, when I should be dressed in business casual, retorting funny anecdotes from some adult reading proved magazine.
So what,
If I laugh out loud after reading some not so funny thing, while on a bus, when everyone else is so quiet and sulking, because the weather is bad or life just sucks (especially Finns, they never really socialize. I should know for I am one of them).
So what,
If I like to do some hopscotch or the level of my conversation is better understood by some five year old at the yard than the up stuck colleagues from work.
So what,
If I don’t feel my age, act stupid sometimes (read: a lot of times), sulk and pout like a two year old if I don’t get my way.
So what,
If I am fifty-four (yes, i did the math), like the latest gadgets, dress in colourful clothing and go out dancing, beating even the younger people at their game of staying up all night

OK, so some days, I feel like nineteen, others like one hundred and ten, but all and all, pretty good, for any age. Talk to me about age again, when I turn one hundred and fifty-four, then we really have something compare, but for now, it’s just guess work really, because I, am just, fifty four 😉