Some Social Media Bullshit (BEST OF 2016)

Posted on January 7, 2017 by Gun Roswell

Posted in BEST OF 2016

Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone

#g’night!

Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

Some Social Media Bullshit (TBT)

Posted on April 7, 2016 by Gun Roswell

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia”

Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

#g’night!

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

OMG: The Internet Just Crashed! (Repost for TBT)

Posted on February 25, 2016 by Gun Roswell

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“I was once living very actively – playing football, tennis, participating into car races. Sometimes I would play poker and pool. But later somebody stole my PC and that was it”  

OMG: The Internet Just Crashed!

That moment you dreaded
Has unexpectedly arrived
The internet just died
Your life shredded
Panicking, freaking out!
Wondering, what the hell is this about?
You don’t have any clue
Of what you need to do
Retreating to a corner
Your life suddenly out of order
Sitting, sobbing, slowly rocking
Your whole body shaking
Cold sweat on your skin
What to do, where to begin?
Utterly and hopelessly lost
Oh, what a cost
For what you have lost
Is that precious connection
Your whole life’s projection
On the world wide web

Just Try It! (Repost for TBT)

Posted on February 25, 2016 by Gun Roswell

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“Don’t do as I do, do as I write” Gun Roswell

Just Try It!

Being online
Sitting in the front line
Twenty four seven
Calling it heaven
Made it your tantra
Repeating that mantra
An existence with a twist
If you’re not on Google
You don’t exist

At your disposal
Hear out this proposal

Turn off the computer and phone
Don’t worry about being left alone
Forget the social media hype
For a while at least
Tame that beast
There is this thing called, life
Out there, somewhere
Lurking about
Just try it out!
You might actually find it
Better than expected
Feeling reconnected
And maybe even accept it

Some Social Media Bullshit (Repost for Blogging 201)

Posted on December 14, 2015 by Gun Roswell

‘Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia’

Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

#g’night!

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

Writing 101, Day Sixteen: Mine your own material

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Gun Roswell

Writing 101, Day Sixteen: Mine your own material

“Mining is like a search-and-destroy mission” Stewart Udall

Writing 101, Day Sixteen: Mine your own material

The physical artifacts of our lives act as our raw material: hardbound journals, photo albums, newspaper clippings, belongings handed down to us. But these days, we also document and live online, so we can treat our blogging platforms and social spaces in the same way.

I like looking for post ideas in these places. I once used phrases from a forgotten draft in my dashboard to create almost-poetry. I’ve searched my social accounts for old Facebook posts and tweets and written blog posts about my social media behavior. I’ve experimented with creative content generators, like Poetweet, which uses your tweets to create poems.

Imagine a shopper searching for vintage items at a flea market, or an artist using recycled materials to build a sculpture. Can you dig through your online treasures and build upon old stories and existing writing? Here are more ideas:

* Take a peek in the drafts section of your dashboard. Can you use unpublished copy in a new way?
* Scroll through your Facebook wall and see if any posts catch your eye. Do you feel the same as when you first posted it? Can you comment on how you’ve evolved?
* Look at the stream of tweets you’ve favorited over time. Why did you favorite a particular tweet? What does your list of favorites say about you?
* If you use the Tag Cloud Widget, scan the terms in your tag cloud. Can you write prose or poetry that uses most of these words?
* If you have trouble finding ideas this way, think about the things we leave behind. Tell us about a time you’ve left an object, place, person, or even an idea behind — and had to move on.

Go to:
Work in Progress, the Series

Work in Progress, the Series

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Gun Roswell

“Time’s awasting”

Work in Progress, the Series

My poor little discarded things
Scattered all over the place
Nothing but sorrow it brings
My thoughts high up in space

Ideas are there of plenty
Many a time I have spent
Writing, writing, writing
Against time always fighting

Some if never makes to complete
Against myself I only compete
Maybe I just want to make it neat
And not to admit to being defeated

The excuse is the same as it always was
I started it, got to a great place
Then, I thought of something else
Why? Well just because

If I could only finish what I started
But alas, it is always a work in progress
What if I stick in to it full hearted
Then I can call it WIP, the series

Some Social Media Bullshit

Posted on November 10, 2015 by Gun Roswell

‘Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia’

Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

#g’night!

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

Just F-ing Google It!

Posted on October 29, 2015 by Gun Roswell

“If it isn’t on Google, it doesn’t exist” Jimmy Wales

Just F-ing Google It!

If you are unsure
On finding the allure
As to why, what and who
If you are in doubt
Of where, how and when
Knowing all about
The sword being mightier
Than the pen
Your head is none the lighter
But you might get wiser
Than
The oracle
Oh, no, not the database
Get onto the next phase
And
Before you ask
More stupid questions
Or hand out any suggestions
Take upon yourself the task
And just fucking Google it!