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Don’t let it lead ya
Tag Archives: internet
OMG: The Internet Just Crashed!
“I was once living very actively – playing football, tennis, participating into car races. Sometimes I would play poker and pool. But later somebody stole my PC and that was it”
OMG: The Internet Just Crashed!
That moment you dreaded
Has unexpectedly arrived
The internet just died
Your life shredded
Panicking, freaking out!
Wondering, what the hell is this about?
You don’t have any clue
Of what you need to do
Retreating to a corner
Your life suddenly out of order
Sitting, sobbing, slowly rocking
Your whole body shaking
Cold sweat on your skin
What to do, where to begin?
Utterly and hopelessly lost
Oh, what a cost
For what you have lost
Is that precious connection
Your whole life’s projection
On the world wide web
Stalking is such a Strong Word. Let’s call it… Social Research!
” *Friend request accepted* Let the stalking begin! “
Stalking is such a Strong Word. Let’s call it… Social Research!
Checking your home page
For the umpteenth time
I must have been in a haste
For no updates I find
Just because
My favourites
Are in the ‘Ks’
And my followers
Are in the nays
You may think
I stink
And am
A
Stalker?
Prowler?
Fan Girl?
Just because my toes curl?
Admirer maybe
From a far of course
Devote
And the Art to endorse
Buff or a Rooter
But not a suitor
I hope you are not offended
As I await here expended
And I’d rather
You called me an other
Name,
Without the blame
A
Researcher
of the Individual
Now,
Why did you not
Answer on the spot
To my ping?
My Brain has Too many Tabs Open
“How ghastly for her, people actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.” ― Gail Carriger, Soulless
My Brain has Too many Tabs Open
Work
Eat
Sleep
Repeat
Filling my mind with (useful and) useless information
Keeping up with the latest situation
Internet
Radio
Television
Stereo
Hard at work
Mind in full play
If you do not reboot
There will be hell to pay
A warning
Your start up disk is almost full
Ignoring
All command functions are off line
My internal screen goes dark
There is absolutely no spark
Staring in the mirror
At my blank face
A blank page
Cold water against my skin
But neither circuit nor pin
Makes the connection to my brain
Your system has encountered an error
Oh the terror
Loosing my ground
while seeing the message
Page not found
Scanning my mind
But nothing I find
Search button pressed once more
Hoping some data to score
Panic strikes
Trying to hide
My head in a bush
Feeling the rush
To backup my data
Sooner than later
Processing…
Internal error detected
Crash report has been sent as expected
Complete system restore
Reboot in one, two, three, four…
A slumber I fall
Hearing my dreams call
Power down complete
Early next morning
Waking up from my snoring
System initializing
Complete scanning in progress
No further errors detected
Finally rid of the ogres
My mind again protected
All is in ship shape and Bristol fashion
Need to start up in rations
Restore was successful
Having my mind full
With all that extra bull
Now in clear mind
I can rewind
Until my next reboot
I have some space to fill
It would be a real hoot
If I had the will
And way
To let some of it get away
The circle is complete
Work
Eat
Sleep
Repeat
Lesson learnt: “Sometimes it’s good to just take a day off, from everything, really!”
Some Social Media Bullshit
‘Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia’
Some Social Media Bullshit
You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!
Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!
* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!
A typical modern person’s day
@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?
#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:
A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email
@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:
#uploadfunnypic
A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.
@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:
A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.
@Coffee break everyone is:
A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.
Back home from the office.
@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:
A-F apply here too.
@Midnight, bedtime:
A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone
#g’night!
Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.
Wishing your spouse
#sweet dreams xoxo
Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.
Rantings Of A Third Kind 