The incredible lightness of being… Naked (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course” – Marilyn Monroe

The incredible lightness of being… Naked

“Hanging around naked can be fun, whether you are driving your car, shopping groceries or just hanging in your neighbour’s yard barbequing. This of course only applies if you are a nudist and resident of a nudist colony!”

The Finns may be an odd bunch among the rest of the so-called civilized western world. Sitting around in a steaming small and fully packed room, naked in something they refer to as “sauna”. Be that with their family, a group of friends or neighbors and even ones nearest colleagues. Sometimes even with a group of strangers will suffice when visiting the public swimming pool.

They also like to take naked dips in a lake during wintertime when the temperature has dropped below zero and the water is really icy cold. If you are courageous enough and willing to imitate this behaviour, beware though, some shrinkage may occur.

Myself I also like the cool air against my naked skin, especially after the shower in the morning, running around the house in my birthday suit. This may of course cause some temporary blindness in those whose fate it is to stare inside just when I am passing the windows.

There are those who are ashamed of their bodies and try to hide and cover them in every possible situation, even though these bodies would be in sync to the general consensus of a “beautiful body” what ever that term means. I personally subscribe to the notion of “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and what ever form the body may be is fine as long as you are comfortable in your own skin.

I got my first touch of “shame” of one’s nakedness while visiting UK when I was seventeen. While camping there, the facilities were public of course including the showers. Being the shameless Finn, I undressed outside the stall, took a quick shower and came out again naked to dress up. The rest of the Brits went in fully dressed, which seemed an odd thing to do. But as it turned out they did take their clothes off for the actual shower! Mind you, these were not unisex showers, but separate for the ladies and gents, so there was no visible need for this behaviour.

Posing for artistic and tasteful nude photographs in one’s youth seems to be allowed, especially if you have the body for it. Posing in your later years or if you have put on some weight is a definite no-no, at least as per what is socially acceptable.

Fair warning though: If you aim for any of the following positions posing in nude photos is a definite negatory:

* Teacher
* Politician
* Basically any kind of public figure
* Beauty pageant contestant

These photos will turn up when you least expect them and bite you right in the derriere, pun intended! However if your goal is to be an entertainer in the so-called adult industry, posing nude will give you excellent practice for it!

This writer does not subscribe to the above mentioned social convention, but has a more open mind where nudity is concerned and in conclusion, quoting the famous Drag artist RuPaul:

“We are all born naked and the rest is Drag”

Marilyn-Main_2399549a

Some Social Media Bullshit (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia”

batman-hates-social-media

Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone

#g’night!

Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

anti-social-media

Aphorism of the Day (2016-03-06)

Posted in Aphorism of the Day
Poetry, Humour

“Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real” Tupac Shakur

Aphorism of the Day

Always…
Dream big, dream all, dream rich
You can be the perfect bitch

Dream

Then…
I woke up, put the dog out to pee
And went out for some coffee

Coffee

Taking Shortcuts is Easy? (Repost for TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

Shortcuts

“If you take shortcuts, you get cut short” Gary Busey

Taking Shortcuts is Easy?

Easy and always simple
Leaving no dimples
The quickest way to take
Is to just faking it
Because wanting your cake
As much as eating it
Taking the shortcuts
Without any buts
All through life
Without any strife
The quickest way
May be the easiest
Even the cheapest
But soon one day
You may end up with
A basket full of shit

images

Super Woman (Repost TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

Wonder-Womam2

“I am not saying I am Wonder Woman I am just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room”

Super Woman

Let’s rebuild her to a

Bigger
Better
Faster
Stronger
Bolder

Better than she was before
Someone truly to be adored
A extraordinary superhuman
An absolute wonder woman

We have the technology
Never mind the theology
Using finest neurology
Without a doubt or apology

To be

Smarter
Taller
Chipper
Funnier
Longer…
“Oh, wait just a minute!”

“What’s wrong?”

“We don’t have enough power!”

“We don’t?”

“No, we used it all to juice up the last superwoman wannabe.”

“Ok, patch her up then and send her on her way!”

“Next!”

wonderwoman

Happy Valentine’s Day: Me and My Shadow

Celebrating Valentine’s Day!

caught

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English”

Me and My Shadow

It was nineteen eighty-five
When I hitched a ride
Ever since that time
We have been tied
Like sugar and spice
Abbott and Costello
And what have you
I am still quite amazed
And feeling totally graced
That someone would stare at my face
For thirty odd years straight
So thanks for all this time, sweetheart
Lets try to make it to the next part
And add another thirty to the cart
After all the most important thing
Which makes you want to sing
It’s good to have that one person
Who will support you without a reason
No matter how serious
Or delirious
Life gets
I will bet
You will still be the one
Who I can rely on
To go absolutely
And completely
Bonkers with
Ain’t that a hit!

me and my shadow

Growing Up? (Repost TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional”

Growing Up?

Growing up?

Such a pain in the ass
Can’t I just pass?
Fifty knocking at the door
Oh what a bore
The golden middle age
The wisdom of a sage
But feeling closer to nineteen
Like the proverbial prom queen
Act your age
Usually the phrase
Leaving me wondering
Who are you mothering
I’m not a child
Even though wild

Growing up?

What’s the point
Not even a joint
Or a few
Can cheer you
If you can’t have fun
On the play ground
Beyond fifty one

Growing-Up-Quotes1

Tea Time: Happy National Tea Month!

Happy National Tea Month!

Hearts’ Favorite Drink - Black Tea

“Make it so!” Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Tea Time!

Tea, hot, with a twist of lemon
Maybe enjoyed even in Bremen
The delightful aroma
Can lull you to a coma
In company or solitude
It is a prelude
To a life’s passion
A sweet sensation
When into the dark liquid dipping
Whether gulping or sipping
Enjoy the moment of pure bliss
For who could resist
Tea time

tea

Tea, Earl Grey, Hot: Happy National Tea Month!

Happy National Tea Month!

“Enjoy life sip by sip, not gulp by gulp” The Minister of Leaves, The Republic of Tea

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Tea, Earl Grey, Hot

Slow down
Listen
To the world
Around
Forget
That strife
Just Enjoy
Without a ploy
The simple pleasures,
Purest treasures
Of life

A cup of tea,
Plain and simple
Easy as
Your A, B, C
Soon you’ll see
A dimple
On your cheek
Will sneak

Breathe in
Breathe out
Relinquish
All doubt
Nothing to it
You can do it
Relax a while
It is no guile

Soon enough
The moment
That should have
Forever lasted
Has passed
You are back
On track

Remembering,
Hoping
The moments
Between now
And running out
To the
wide open
Would last
Longer than
A token  

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Life is a Musical (number) (Repost for SL WEEK)

“The world’s most famous and popular language is music” Psy

Life is a Musical (number)

Luck be a lady
Don’t be shady
Roll on those dice
Bring me nothing
But blue skies
Today

All day long
Singing along
Dancing, prancing
Even romancing
In the rain
Real life
Down the drain

Feels like
Witchcraft
Sorcery
No worries
Of groceries
When I’m riding
On this plane

All is fine
There is no time
To slow down
Get me to
Funky town

My life is
A musical
Today

musical