Some Social Media Bullshit (BEST OF 2016)

Posted in BEST OF 2016

Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone

#g’night!

Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

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Moon, Moon, where art thou, Moon? (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday 

“Photography is more than a medium for factual communication of ideas. It is a creative art” Ansel Adams

Moon, Moon, where art thou?

Moon, moon
Where art thou moon?
Come out from your hiding
On the nightly path guiding
Before off the trail
I go slipping and sliding

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Coffee makes the world go around!

Posted in Coffee
For National Coffee Day

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“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons” T. S. Eliot

Coffee makes the world go around

Coffee
Makes the world go around,
The world go around,
The world go around

Nothing is a more sweeter sound
But the spoon makes a clinking sound
When in the coffee cup
Swirling around

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The Four Options For Coffee

Posted in Coffee
For National Coffee Day

“Coffee – the finest organic suspension ever devised. It’s got me through the worst of the last three years. I beat the Borg with it”Captain Kathryn Janeway

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The Four Options Of Coffee

1) Good
2) OK
3) Drinkable
4) Yak

How to recognize bad coffee:

1) Looks like tea, doesn’t taste like tea and certainly not like any coffee you’ve ever tasted!
2) Sticky gooey stuff sticks on your tongue: Looks like tar, tastes like tar!
3) Your face twitches in a funny way: Not funny good, but funny bad.
4) Coffee with milk: Except when it’s ice coffee, with lots of coffee, a little ice and hardly any milk.

You know it’s an excellent cup when the coffee is:

1) Black.
2) The spoon melts in it before you manage to stir.
3) You have a burned after taste in your mouth for several hours after your last cup of the day.
4) It’s ten o’clock in the evening and you are still drinking it.

Note: Why you would actually stop drinking coffee at any hour is beyond me!

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Star Trek Wars parody for 50th Anniversary Star Trek TOS

Posted in the Throwback Thursday Series /50th Anniversary Star Trek TOS
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“Resistance is futile” The Borg

Star Trek Wars

We had finally arrived at the annual Star Trek convention. Our little gang of geeks, all dressed up in their favourite character’s uniforms. Myself as Mr Spock of course, the half human, half Vulcan science officer from the original Star Trek show.

Some of us had been eagerly been awaiting to hit the shopping booths to find new collectibles for their already vast collections. We were scanning the area for familiar faces and hoping to hook up with some of our friends while here.

“Don’t venture too far!” I ordered the others, “The panel is about to begin in two hours and we want front row seats!” I shouted after my team who had already made their ways around the surrounding shopping area.

The one portraying the Captain’s character was far too reckless, not to mention air headed, to lead anyone, let alone herself. So for now, despite the fact of being the first officer in rank, the dubious task of leadership of this ragtag crew had fallen onto me.

I noticed some of our friends a little further and waved at them. They were dressed as Klingons and during the conventions, they were always in full character, speaking nothing but Klingon. Luckily I had mastered the language myself. Let’s just say the conversation with them was, interesting, at best.

***

It was nearly time for the first panel of the day, guest starring one of my favourite actors, William Shatner. Due to my diligence, we had managed to get the front row seats and were now eagerly awaiting for the mighty Shatner to arrive. My crew and I had a few questions for him and if luck would serve us, we would get the opportunity to present them for him.

“Oh. My. God!” ‘Uhura’ was over excited when she joined us finally.

“What?” I asked her.

“You will never guess what I just heard at the juice bar?” She continued.

“Spit it out already!” I was getting anxious.

“Well, the word out there is, that there is a heard of Star Wars fans dressed in Stormtroopers uniforms coming to the convention.” Uhura told us.

“This convention? Our convention? The STAR TREK convention?!” For a Vulcan, my pitch was overly high and my emotions up the roof.

“Yeah and they are led by none other than Darth Vader himself!” She added knowingly.

“When is this supposed to happen?” I asked her, hoping she had better intel than just rumours or gossip.

“Not sure, but I heard this from a reliable source!” She ensured me.

“I need details people! Go and get some proper intel, we still have thirty minutes to go!” I was ordering my crew, who were looking at me like I had lost it, but did as I told them anyway.

After they had left I sat down in defeat and said to myself, “I cannot work like this!” holding my head in my hands feeling a massive migraine coming on.

A little later they returned and confirmed what Uhura had told earlier. The general consensus was, that a group of Star Wars fans were about to invade the convention, but as to when was still uncertain.
We all agreed to keep our eyes and ears open. But for now, concentrate on more urgent matters, such as the panel led by William Shatner.

***

Some fifteen minutes into the panel, where the boring questions were done with, the fans were gearing up for more interesting topics and our turn was coming up soon, it happened.

A character dressed in a black uniform, complete with a cape and helmet and accompanied by roughly twenty odd people dressed in all white plastic uniforms, charged in front.

“Vader!” I stood up from my seat and pounced to the direction where the perpetrators had made their stance.

“Die Trekkies, die!” Darth Vader breathed through his mask and was ready to charge.

“We prefer Trekkers!” I shouted as I charged towards the enemy with full force, my crew not far behind and the other conventionalists joining.

“What ever!” Vader shouted back.

A wrestling match of sorts started, each side showing and pushing each other.

One of the troopers had charged to the stage and managed to bump into Mr Shatner, before he had been able to escape the competitive fan uprising. Our crew was the first to respond to the distress and our resident crew member, the Doctor reached Mr Shatner first. Shatner was laying on the floor, holding his head. The Doctor checked his pulse, then looked at us and back at Shatner again and said:

“You’re dead Jim!”

Mr Shatner looked at him and rolled his eyes: “Right!” Was all he told the smirking ‘Doctor’.

“Are you alright Mr Shatner?” I asked concerned.

“I will be, as soon as I get out from this,” He was waving towards the crowd, “Madness!”

After helping Shatner up and guiding him towards the exit, I and the Doctor joined the rest of our crew, returning to the battle field.

Today is a good day to die!” One of the troopers shouted.

“Hey, that line is from our franchise!” The Doctor from our group responded.

“Yeah! Get your own lines!” Another Trekker added.

And with our faux phasers and light sabers, the Trekkers and the Star Wars fans continued their age long battle, to the proverbial death!

***

Later, sitting confined in one of the empty conference halls, after getting arrested, the bulk of the fans on either side, some three hundred of us in total. No one was saying much. I was also regretting loosing myself and my Vulcan ways engaging in battle rather than trying to solve the issue with logic and peaceful negotiation.

Guess the lesson learnt here is, no matter the franchise or belief, there is always room for all kinds of fandoms and each of us should respect each others’ choices.

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Gun’s Travel Log: Greece – Rhodes Island 14 (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“You know, it is said that we Greeks are a fervent and warm blooded breed. Well, let me tell you something – it is true” Melina Mercouri

Ancient Kamiros

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Gun’s travel log, stardate: Greece, Kamiros EET (GMT +3)

Kamiros, City in Greece

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Kamiros (/kəˈmaɪərəs/; Greek: Κάμειρος) is an ancient city on the island of Rhodes, in the Dodecanese, Greece. It lies on the northwest coast of the island, three kilometres west of the village of Kalavarda.

This archaeological site contains ruins of the Hellenistic and Roman city of Kameiros together with the neighboring necropolis, which although first discovered in 1859 was mainly excavated during the Italian occupation of the island (1912-1943). Of the classical city, only the façade of a late classical fountain and some walls from the agora (market) remain.

The settlement was constructed on three separate levels of the hill. At the bottom was the first terrace with public buildings, market and temples, then on the second terrace was the main settlement and finally in a dominant position at the top of the hill was the acropolis with the Temple of Athena Kameirados (6th century BC), a reminder of the former wealth and historic significance of this ancient city.

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Gun’s Travel Log: Greece – Rhodes Island 13 (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“A well-made salad must have a certain uniformity; it should make perfect sense for those ingredients to share a bowl” Yotam Ottolenghi

An Homage to Greek Salad

Gun’s travel log, stardate: August, Greece, Lunch Time (GMT +3)

An homage to Greek Salad

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Tomatoes, onions and cheese
Who could ever survive without these
A feast good enough for peasants
Maybe even some pheasants
But especially for the tourists
From a far away land
Sufficiently and well nourished
Everything going as planned
Enjoying the feast worthy of Gods
Who could ever beat these odds

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Gun’s Travel Log: Greece – Rhodes Island 12 (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“Don’t just eat McDonald’s, get something a bit better. Eat a salad. That’s what fashion is. It’s something that is a bit better” Vivienne Westwood

Greek Salad

Gun’s travel log, stardate: August, Greece, Lunch Time (GMT +3)

Greek salad 
(Greek: χωριάτικη σαλάτα [xorˈjatiki saˈlata] “rustic salad” or θερινή σαλάτα [θeriˈni saˈlata] “summer salad”) is a salad in Greek cuisine.

Greek salad is made with pieces of tomatoes, sliced cucumbers, onion, feta cheese, and olives (usually Kalamata olives), typically seasoned with salt and oregano, and dressed with olive oil. Common additions include green bell pepper slices or berries of capers (especially in the Dodecanese islands).

After returning to the hotel, it is time for lunch. Order placed to room service and soon enough, the salad, bread and drinks appear on the doorstep.

Enjoying the traditional Greek Salad, with actual Feta cheese made of goat milk, fresh and juicy tomatoes, onions and bell pepper and let’s not forget the olives! Spread on some virgin olive oil and voila, you are enjoying a feast good enough for the gods!

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Gun’s Travel Log: Greece – Rhodes Island 11 (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued” Socrates

Afternoons by the Pool

Gun’s travel log, stardate: This week, in Greece, Afternoons (GMT +3)

After lunch time, it was time to enjoy the warmth of the sun and cool off in the pool.

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Swimming
All thoughts dimming
Relaxing
Nothing perplexing
Mind
Finally at rest
Unwind
Is the best
Turquoise
Filling the view
Disguise
All feelings of blue

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Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (Second Batch)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

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“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – St. Augustine

Travel in Rhodes for Throwback Thursday (Second Batch)

On Thursdays, we walk down memory lane and dig deeply into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind. For these posts, I have chosen some of my personal favourites. Some of them may tickle the funny bone, some even provoke thoughts and some of them will give you a view of the world in photographs taken by yours truly.

Today’s posts have been dedicated to my original Travel Log from a year ago, while visiting the beautiful island of Rhodes in Greece. This weeks theme; history, but mainly rest, relaxation and Greek salad: Enjoy!

Gun’s Travel Diary: Greece – Rhodes Island: Parts eleven through fourteen

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