Some Social Media Bullshit Like That

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‘Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia’

“Are we really connected?” Gun Roswell

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!

A typical modern person’s day 

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone

#g’night!

Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

Social Media? It’s a social construct I assume?

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“I used to twat a lot, until the bird was crushed, by an the letter x no less” Gun Roswell

Social Media? It’s a social construct I assume?

I the platform formerly known as twitter
Had suddenly found themselves in a bit of a pickle
The users always having been quite fickle
Suddenly the lot of them turning bitter!

Those crowds, always oh so very loud
Finding their consolation in other places
Regrouping the darkest corners of the internets
But those kinds of places usually have bad effects
 
 So, what now to do, when the option is to lose
All those mostly faceless and anonymous friends of the world?
The shared memories of whatever topic, fandom or chat disappearing
Into the bits and bytes unknown heaven?

Maybe pick up a book or go out for a walk?
Maybe even spend some time with the family estranged and distraught
Just a few suggestions to rid of the anxiety caused by the FOMO kicking in
The fear of missing out an all those unimportant and useless things!

Becuase the bird have finally flown out of its nest
Most likely dropped out with a stone as though like a pest
Now the big corporation ruling the world, or so I’ve heard
Surely not a surprise, even if not nice, alas, just try, to breathe

The world really did not end, now did it?

Eavesdropping? No, it’s just socially investigating!

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“Sometimes I listen to strangers’ conversation and mentally give my opinion”

Eavesdropping? No, it’s just socially investigating!

“By George we made it!” Emma shouted in victory.

“I thought we were lost there for a moment, but here we are. And all in one piece!” Marc added dusting off his jacket.

“Too bad we lost George.” Emma was feeling sorry for the poor guy.

Marc looked at Emma and with a sad voice answered: “The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few.”

“Or the one!” Emma added.

Marc hugged Emma as they were standing, both looking into the distance, thoughts on their lost comrade.

***

I was on my way to work, when I stopped by the coffee shop. Waiting for my order I glanced around the place and noticed three intriguing characters in the farthest corner table. Two men and a woman, obviously deep in conversation, planning something from the looks of how they were positioned. Huddled together, serious yet fierce expressions on their faces and looking like they were plotting something.

Being of a curious nature, interested in all human relations, I took a few steps closer, trying to catch a glimpse of what they were talking about.

“This has to go down today!” The woman said loud enough for me to hear from my position.

I was hooked. I inched even closer and secretly hoped my order would take a while to complete.

“Did you check the weapons, made sure we have enough ammo?” The other man asked from the one sitting opposite him.

“All checked boss! I also added an extra ingredient, just to spice things up! Can’t wait to see the other guys’ faces when they get hit!” He responded with a smirk on his lips.

‘Boss, hit, guns?!’

Some kind of heist or mob hit in the planning I wondered. I was shaking a little. The threesome sitting around the table did not look like robbers or mob members, rather like nerds or students. But never judge a book by it’s cover.

The woman then took something out from her bag and laid it on the table. It looked like a map of sorts.

“Are we all clear on our positions at the final stage.” She was pointing at something on the paper to the others.

“What if I change my stance here rather than here.” The other man asked the woman and the one he had called boss.

“No!” The woman raised her voice again. Clearly the other man had been wrong about who the real boss was.

She then continued, “No deviations! We will all stick to the plan as agreed before.”

The man just nodded.

“Excellent!” The woman responded, “Now as to the next…”

Her voice faded to the sounds of new customers coming in to the shop. A loud soccer team had just entered the premises and I could not hear the threesome’s conversation.

And then, my name was called out from the counter. My order was ready.

Pondering whether to ignore it and try to stay a while longer. Then again, it would look suspicious, if I would stand there with my coffee and bagels in my hand. Reluctantly I decided to leave. Maybe there was something in the newspaper tomorrow I could read about. After all, I was no detective, nor law officer. Just an eavesdropper on her way to work!

***

Emma and Marc were standing at the top of the hill holding their guns. They had finally won a battle.

“Poor George!” Marc was looking down at his friend, laying non moving down by the bushes.

“He was brave, right to the end!” Emma credited his fallen friend.
“Guys! A little help, please!” A voice shouted from below.

Emma and Marc looked at each other. Then started their way down the hill. They reached their destination and remained standing there, neither making an effort to help.

“Guys? I am dying here!”

“Well, it’s your own fault!” Marc told him.

“Yeah, you failed to follow the plan and got hit. Right in the forehead no less!” Emma berated him.

“Sorry, guess I should have cut back on the doughnuts!” Was the response of the fallen man, “I felt the energy draining away from me as I was running after you guys.”

Marc offered his hand to his friend and helped him up.

“George, you are a mess. You have paint all over your face!” Marc looked at the dirty face of his friend who had been hit by multiple paint pellets.

“Well, our team still won!” George replied with a big grin.

“We sure did George, we sure did!” Emma patted George on the back, “Thanks for taking one for the team!”

“Now, let’s go and celebrate our victory! Donuts anyone?” Marc added.

“Hear, hear!” The other two replied in unison.

social

Some Social Media Bullshit

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Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone

#g’night!

Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

Some Social Media Bullshit (BEST OF 2016)

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Posted in BEST OF 2016

Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone

#g’night!

Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

batman-hates-social-media

Hashtag Hell

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Posted in the Daily Incidents
Poetry /Humour /Dialogue

“LinkedIn is for the people you know. Facebook is for the people you used to know. Twitter is for people you want to know”

Hashtag Hell

“Welcome
to hashtag hell”

She said and into the pit fell

“Yes, that is brimstone you smell
Do not on the what ifs dwell
You are here yourself to sell
Awarded, if you do it well!”

She added

“Otherwise
Your demise
Will be,
Quite precise
And, you’ll become
The one
You despise!”

And with an evil laugh,
She was gone

vitage-social-media

Some Social Media Bullshit (TBT)

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Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia”

batman-hates-social-media

Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone

#g’night!

Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

anti-social-media

Shall I Just Twitter Then? (TBT)

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Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

twitter-joke

“I worry we are spending too much time on Facebook, that we are losing our ability to connect with people on twitter”

Shall I Just Twitter Then?

“Good morning” I say when I arrive at the office. No response, from anyone.

“Good morning” My voice a little louder, but still no response.

“GOOD MORNING” I am now half shouting. I don’t believe it, no response. Everyone sitting there staring at their screens, small, medium and large.

“Fine” I say to myself, “I shall just twitter ‘Good Morning’ then!”

Suddenly, my screen filled with pings, indicating several responses to my greeting – in Twitter, that is!

Today’s social convention, how could I have forgotten!

bubble

Blogging 201: Day Eight: Make Your Blog a Hub

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Blogging 201: Day Eight: Make Your Blog a Hub

blog-joke-3

“Despite the fact that no one views or cares about my blog, I will continue to spend the majority of my life updating it” Unknown

Blogging 201: Day Eight: Make Your Blog a Hub

The internet is a big playground. If you’re serious about your development as an online publisher, you need to think about opportunities beyond your blog, with your blog as your digital homestead.

Think of your site as a space to develop your online presence and personal brand strategically, promote your work in a way that makes sense for you, and connect and share your other projects and work across the web: a hub for you, as well as a place to publish posts.

Today’s assignment: create a page or section on your blog to display links to your online presence elsewhere, and make sure your other presences reflect the brand you’re developing on your blog.

Why do this?

– Because as online publishers, our work is naturally scattered across the web — you want your readers and followers to find you. Building your personal brand means expanding your reach beyond your blog while keeping it the focus.
– Because sometimes you have material that doesn’t quite fit on your site, and you want to make this complementary work accessible.

On the main page of Rantings Of A Third Kind, the social media buttons are present in several places. Both the Instagram and Flickr feeds are shown as widgets. What is still missing, is the widget for the 500px feed, work in progress to find and making it.

On the “About” and “Biography” pages the social media links are presented in their own sections.

Those of you who have ventured to my blog and browsed about, may have noticed this page:

Links 4 Writers

This page contain links where writers can find information on writing, submissions and other connection hubs. I also have a profile on the Stage32 hub.

Related posts:
Blogging 201: Day Six: Dig Deep into a Social Network
Blogging 201, Day Four: Give ‘Em What They Want
Some Social Media Bullshit

blogging-585x333

Blogging 201: Day Six: Dig Deep into a Social Network

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Blogging 201: Day Six: Dig Deep into a Social Network

images

“The Internet destroyed most of the barriers to publication. The cost of being a publisher dropped to almost zero with two interesting immediate results: anybody can publish, and more importantly, you can publish whatever you want.” Dick Costolo

Blogging 201: Day Six: Dig Deep into a Social Network

Today’s Assignment: pick one social network you’ll use to help grow your blog. Then, outline a plan for how you’ll use it.

Why do this?

• Because blogging is about building a community, and other social networks have ready-made communities.

• Because social networks are a great place to continue tangential conversations and experiment with content. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, LinkedIn…where to start? A big brand might use every single one, but a big brand also has a social media department. You have the Department of You, so be selective.

I went “social media” the first day of my blog: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Flickr, 500px, LiveJournal, Tumbler, Pinterest, Google+ and LinkedIn.

All the posts published are sub-posted on these sites. I am getting followers from all these sites and even feedback given through them or email. I don’t see a blog surviving without the social media, with the good and the bad which it contains. I have said it in the past and will say again: I have a love-hate relationship with the social media, but as the old adage goes: Better the Devil you know 😉

I have also reposted several bloggers’ posts, which I have found to be something to be shared to a wider audience and intend to continue doing so also in the future.

Related posts:
Blogging 201, Day Four: Give ‘Em What They Want
Some Social Media Bullshit
new-yorker-blogger-cartoon