A Merry Birthday To You, Sir Pat

“I wouldn’t know a space-time continuum or warp core breach if they got into bed with me” Sir Patrick Stewart

A Very Merry Birthday To You, Sir Pat

Totally charming
Maybe even utterly harming
When you make us laugh
And make us cry
With a voice like that
Sir Pat in a hat
Canny as a cat
Who could resist
Of being kissed
By a great fellow
You’re hell of’
An actor, a Captain and a King
And even able to sing

Wishing you a merry, happy and utterly great Birthday
And as the cliche goes, if I may

Live Long And Prosper
Oh, Captain of Captains!

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Homage to Dr McCoy i.e. DeForest Kelley

“I am a doctor, not a magician!” Leonard McCoy

Homage to Dr McCoy i.e. DeForest Kelley

I am a doctor, not a doorstop
I can go on nonstop
I am a miracle worker
Maybe even a tearjerker
Concocting cures for all ailments
I have the treatments
No matter if my patients
Be alien or human
Even if the Yeoman
Came down with the flu
I have the cure and the clue
On what to do
So maybe I am a magician
The premium edition
And even that green blooded
Gosh, darn, crud it…Vulcan
Has to admit it
And I am loving every damned minute!

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Being a Red Shirt is never easy

Ode to all Red Shirts, dead or alive

“He’s Dead, Jim” Dr McCoy

Being a Red Shirt is never easy

Wearing a red shirt
Feeling like about to get hurt
The target is painted on my back
No time for sleep or a snack
I know I am not really cherished
And quite soon to be perished
Since I am mainly used as cannon fodder
Even though I am none the odder
Than a yellow or blue shirted one
So, now my time has come
And with the beat of the drum
I will march into my doom
Proudly, staring into the gloom
After all it is my duty
And that is the beauty
Of being a Red Shirt

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Star Trek Wars

“Resistance is futile” The Borg

Star Trek Wars

We had finally arrived at the annual Star Trek convention. Our little gang of geeks, all dressed up in their favourite character’s uniforms. Myself as Mr Spock of course, the half human, half Vulcan science officer from the original Star Trek show.

Some of us had been eagerly been awaiting to hit the shopping booths to find new collectibles for their already vast collections. We were scanning the area for familiar faces and hoping to hook up with some of our friends while here.

“Don’t venture too far!” I ordered the others, “The panel is about to begin in two hours and we want front row seats!” I shouted after my team who had already made their ways around the surrounding shopping area.

The one portraying the Captain’s character was far too reckless, not to mention air headed, to lead anyone, let alone herself. So for now, despite the fact of being the first officer in rank, the dubious task of leadership of this ragtag crew had fallen onto me.

I noticed some of our friends a little further and waved at them. They were dressed as Klingons and during the conventions, they were always in full character, speaking nothing but Klingon. Luckily I had mastered the language myself. Let’s just say the conversation with them was, interesting, at best.

***

It was nearly time for the first panel of the day, guest starring one of my favourite actors, William Shatner. Due to my diligence, we had managed to get the front row seats and were now eagerly awaiting for the mighty Shatner to arrive. My crew and I had a few questions for him and if luck would serve us, we would get the opportunity to present them for him.

“Oh. My. God!” ‘Uhura’ was over excited when she joined us finally.

“What?” I asked her.

“You will never guess what I just heard at the juice bar?” She continued.

“Spit it out already!” I was getting anxious.

“Well, the word out there is, that there is a heard of Star Wars fans dressed in Stormtroopers uniforms coming to the convention.” Uhura told us.

“This convention? Our convention? The STAR TREK convention?!” For a Vulcan, my pitch was overly high and my emotions up the roof.

“Yeah and they are led by none other than Darth Vader himself!” She added knowingly.

“When is this supposed to happen?” I asked her, hoping she had better intel than just rumours or gossip.

“Not sure, but I heard this from a reliable source!” She ensured me.

“I need details people! Go and get some proper intel, we still have thirty minutes to go!” I was ordering my crew, who were looking at me like I had lost it, but did as I told them anyway.

After they had left I sat down in defeat and said to myself, “I cannot work like this!” holding my head in my hands feeling a massive migraine coming on.

A little later they returned and confirmed what Uhura had told earlier. The general consensus was, that a group of Star Wars fans were about to invade the convention, but as to when was still uncertain.
We all agreed to keep our eyes and ears open. But for now, concentrate on more urgent matters, such as the panel led by William Shatner.

***

Some fifteen minutes into the panel, where the boring questions were done with, the fans were gearing up for more interesting topics and our turn was coming up soon, it happened.

A character dressed in a black uniform, complete with a cape and helmet and accompanied by roughly twenty odd people dressed in all white plastic uniforms, charged in front.

“Vader!” I stood up from my seat and pounced to the direction where the perpetrators had made their stance.

“Die Trekkies, die!” Darth Vader breathed through his mask and was ready to charge.

“We prefer Trekkers!” I shouted as I charged towards the enemy with full force, my crew not far behind and the other conventionalists joining.

“What ever!” Vader shouted back.

A wrestling match of sorts started, each side showing and pushing each other.

One of the troopers had charged to the stage and managed to bump into Mr Shatner, before he had been able to escape the competitive fan uprising. Our crew was the first to respond to the distress and our resident crew member, the Doctor reached Mr Shatner first. Shatner was laying on the floor, holding his head. The Doctor checked his pulse, then looked at us and back at Shatner again and said:

“You’re dead Jim!”

Mr Shatner looked at him and rolled his eyes: “Right!” Was all he told the smirking ‘Doctor’.

“Are you alright Mr Shatner?” I asked concerned.

“I will be, as soon as I get out from this,” He was waving towards the crowd, “Madness!”

After helping Shatner up and guiding him towards the exit, I and the Doctor joined the rest of our crew, returning to the battle field.

Today is a good day to die!” One of the troopers shouted.

“Hey, that line is from our franchise!” The Doctor from our group responded.

“Yeah! Get your own lines!” Another Trekker added.

And with our faux phasers and light sabers, the Trekkers and the Star Wars fans continued their age long battle, to the proverbial death!

***

Later, sitting confined in one of the empty conference halls, after getting arrested, the bulk of the fans on either side, some three hundred of us in total. No one was saying much. I was also regretting loosing myself and my Vulcan ways engaging in battle rather than trying to solve the issue with logic and peaceful negotiation.

Guess the lesson learnt here is, no matter the franchise or belief, there is always room for all kinds of fandoms and each of us should respect each others’ choices.

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Homage to Spock AKA Leonard Nimoy

“Live long and prosper” – Spock AKA Leonard Nimoy

Homage to Spock AKA Leonard Nimoy

“It’s only a television show”
– Maybe so, but it got me through the best of times and surely through the worst of times

“Vulcan honours us with your presence. We come to serve”
– Mr Spock had me at hello

“Never meet your heroes”
– Maybe true, but this particular hero I will regret not meeting for the rest of my life

“These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise, Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.”
– And I will keep watching until such time they put me out to pasture.

Mr Nimoy, please reserve a room for me also in Valhalla!

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