Ye Old People’s Wagon for SL-WEEK 42

Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of Car

ye-old-peoples-wagon

“Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live
In cars”
Gary Numan – Cars

Ye Old People’s Wagon

Trusted by the Germans
Liked by the Europeans
Loved by all the fans

Ye old Volkswagen
Was Anderes kann ich sagen

ye-old-peoples-wagon

Wannabes for SL-WEEK 42

Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of Car

wannabes

“Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live
In cars”
Gary Numan – Cars

Wannabes

“Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna…

Be a real big Mini Cooper!”

wannabes

Just a Rent-A-Car for SL-WEEK 42

Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of Car

rent-a-car

“Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live
In cars”
Gary Numan – Cars

Just a Rent-A-Car

Just another rent-a-car
Down on the beat
I can drive you really far
Even in this damned heat
I may not be a smart-car
But I know every street

Just put down the cigar
Step inside and take a seat
I will take you on a tour
Ever so lovely and grandeur

rent-a-car

Chicken or Tough Mini? for SL-WEEK 42

Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of Car

playing-chicken

“Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live
In cars”
Gary Numan – Cars

Chicken or Tough Mini?

Are thee chicken
Or are thee Mini Cooper?
Soon you will be stricken
By this mini trooper!

playing-chicken

Jealous of my Boogie for SL-WEEK 42

Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of Car

jealous-of-my-boogie

“Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live
In cars”
Gary Numan – Cars

Jealous of my Boogie

“Don’t be jealous of my boogie”
The older wise Mercedes said to the little new car
Who had turned red when trying with the old one to spar
And found out, it could not drive quite as far
After all, the vintage model was the star

jealous-of-my-boogie

Goldilocks and the Three Yellow Lorries for SL-WEEK 42

Photo Challenge by SYLVAIN LANDRY
A response to Sylvain’s challenge theme of Car

goldielocks-and-three-lorries

“Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live
In cars”
Gary Numan – Cars

Goldilocks and the Three Yellow Lorries

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the neighbourhood. Pretty soon, she came upon a parking lot and noticed three yellow lorries.

She stepped into the biggest one:

“This lorry is too hot to handle” she exclaimed.

So, she hopped into the middle lorry, and sat behind the wheel again:

“This lorry is too passe,” she said

So, she tried the smallest of the lorries:

“Ahhh, this lorry is just right,” she said happily, turned on the engine, and off she went!

goldielocks-and-three-lorries

Back in time (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

time

“When I was kid, my social network was called ‘outside’ “

Back in time

This is the work one of pure fiction. Neither polar bears nor reindeer were harmed in the creation of this literary process!

The year was 1924.

Longitude and latitude: Somewhere up north, thataway! The Finnish Lapland would probably be the most accurate location for this tale.

How old was I?

I guess I was somewhere between ten and twelve years of age. In those days, people were born and they died. No one really bothered with the record keeping. Lord knows there were plenty of us to go around.

Despite the fact it was close to midsummer, there was still snow on the ground. The reindeer and polar bears were roaming the streets while us kids were running around, having snowball fights. That is, during the minimum spare time we had between school, chores and work. Sleeping in those days was a luxury. Sometimes we had a full night’s sleep, sometimes the watch duty fell on my plate and I needed to stay up all night. Luckily, coffee had been invented ten years prior and we were all pretty much hooked on the sweet dark liquid.

Our housing for the winter months was an igloo, which the whole family constructed out of ice. Snow was used as plaster to fill in any holes between the blocks of ice. During the summer time, we had a tent like structure made out of bear and deer skin. Unfortunately all of us favoured the winter dwelling for one simple fact: The summer house stunk like a skunk. The choice of material was not a good one, but then, it was depression and all commodities were scarce.

The trip to school, either winter or summer time was made on skis and it was part to the exercise curriculum for all of us still eligible for the classes. A twenty kilometer trip back and forth was not a big deal and was building the strength and endurance nicely. This also came in handy for our after school activities. Some of us went to work in the coal mines, while others were herding rein deer or taking care of their younger siblings.

Each Saturday the Sauna was heated and all the family gathered into the cramped little room, heated up to eighty degrees. We were sitting all butt cheek to butt cheek in the nude on a wooden construct in the small dark room. Only the burning fire in the stove gave some lighting. As a luffa, a loosely tied bunch of birch tree branches with leaves on them was used. Out mother pummeled us with the concoction and me thinks she enjoyed it a little too much. Granted we children gave her grieve sometimes, so I will give her that.

Bathing for us then meant taking dips in the icy, below freezing waters. This, after we had first heated our body temperatures close to baking. Then we ran naked to the lake, where a large hole had been dug into the ice and plunged in.

All in all life was pretty ordinary and uneventful in my childhood, apart from the minor quirks.

Do I miss it? My childhood?

I would rather spend my next holiday on a labour camp!

4067-76665

Thorn in my side (Daily Photo)

Posted in Daily Photo
Photography /Tale

thorn-1

“But he that dares not grasp the thorn Should never crave the rose” Anne Bronte

Thorn in my side (Daily Photo)

“Come closer, so I may see you better” the little plant whispered

I hesitated for a moment, after all, the thorns looked very sharp

As if sensing my hesitation, the plant continued:
“It’s ok, my dear, I won’t hurt you”

I smiled and stepped closer. I was in awe, mezmerized by the beauty before me.
As in a haze, I watched my hand getting closer and closer to the inviting thorns…
And before I realized what had happened, it was already too late.
I had been pricked, with a deadly poison.

thorn-2

The Dame and the White Cat (Caturday) Part One

Posted in Caturday
Humour / Tales / Mystery

Angela,Cat

“When all candles be out, all cats be grey” John Heywood

The Dame and the White Cat (Caturday) Part One

The dame with her white cat
Stepped in for a quick chat
Sat down and whisked off her hat
Ordered a coffee with milk non-fat

“Good evening dearie”
She said leering
“Nice weather we are having this evening”

That was all she said
Her conversation dropping dead
Just quietly sipping the beverage
As if looking for a leverage

I stood there staring
The silence more than unbearing
Wondering ‘what or who was this stranger
Were we all in danger?’

As if reading my mind
The lady put down the cup
And finally looked up
And with smile made of kind

She stated matter of factually
“I need more cats!”
As ipso facto, this was actually
A store, where one could purchase such things

 

To be continued

More Cats

Some Social Media Bullshit (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

“Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia”

batman-hates-social-media

Some Social Media Bullshit

You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!

Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!

* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!

A typical modern person’s day

@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?

#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:

A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email

@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:

#uploadfunnypic

A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.

@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:

A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.

@Coffee break everyone is:

A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.

Back home from the office.

@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:

A-F apply here too.

@Midnight, bedtime:

A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone

#g’night!

Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.

Wishing your spouse

#sweet dreams xoxo

Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.

anti-social-media