Forest for Mundane Monday: One

Posted in Mundane Monday #63
Photography /Poetry /Humour

Forest for Mundane Monday

forest-1

“Time had changed the magical to mundane”
― Rohinton Mistry

Birches

He who, for a treasure searches
Behind the dark forest lurches
Some of the most beautiful birches

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Forest for Mundane Monday: Two

Posted in Mundane Monday #63
Photography /Poetry /Humour

Forest for Mundane Monday

forest-3

“Time had changed the magical to mundane”
― Rohinton Mistry

Look Up!

When in the forest of deep
You may find what you seek
Remember to look up
But try not to stumble over a stub

forest-2

Forest for Mundane Monday: Four

Posted in Mundane Monday #63
Photography /Poetry /Humour

Forest for Mundane Monday

forest-6

“Time had changed the magical to mundane”
― Rohinton Mistry

Centipede

A monster in the deepest forest?
Something scary and horrid?
Nah, it’s just a tree, being modest
After all, it is related
To a centipede

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Forest for Mundane Monday: Six

Posted in Mundane Monday #63
Photography /Poetry /Humour

Forest for Mundane Monday

forest-8

“Time had changed the magical to mundane”
― Rohinton Mistry

Dark Side vs. Light Side of the Forest

“Welcome, to the dark side!”
Greeted the little dark gremlin, as I eagerly stepped on the mossy patch….

“Welcome, to the lighter side!”
Singsonged a white entity, trying to lure me into the sunlight….

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Pretty in Pink

Posted in Daily Incidents
Photography /Poetry /Humour /Tales

pink-shoes

“A woman can never have too many pairs of shoes” Gun Roswell

Pretty in Pink

I saw you in the store
To be honest, you were really hard to ignore
Pretty, in pink
Yes, we were in sync

I tried very hard to ignore
Away myself I tore

But then your loud yelling:
“Buy me, buy me,
I’ll be yours forever!”

Back to you soon propelling
Grabbing you with me
And soon, you will be mine, forever

Or at least after I pay at the cashier!

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Crazy Cat Lady Starter Kit for Caturday

Posted in Caturday
Humour / Poetry / Tales of Odd

cat lady

“If the shoe fits, wear it”

Crazy Cat Lady Starter Kit 

started kit

Whether it’s a business, or a personal hobby;
There is nothing like a good starter kit, to get you off the ground!

Before you know it
Your collecting will start growing
You will feel the life altering experience
Provided only, by these tiny creatures

And soon enough, you too, can be part of, the Crazy Cat Lady Alliance!

If you don’t believe us,
Just listen to some of the testimonies by our satisfied clients:

“I was a mess, totally lost, ’till I heard of “the Kit”.
Now, I am totally hooked! Cats and kittens all over my house!
Even cat hair on my blouse.
I could not be more happy!”

“I was working twenty-four-seven, my life consumed by work.
I was lonely and at the end of my rope. Then, one day I saw the ad:
The Starter Kit completely turned my life around!
Cats, cats, cats, my 24-7 acts! Nothing more do I want in my life!”

So order yours now, before we run out.
Call now, the lines are open, so press those buttons!

starter kit 2

Back in time (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

time

“When I was kid, my social network was called ‘outside’ “

Back in time

This is the work one of pure fiction. Neither polar bears nor reindeer were harmed in the creation of this literary process!

The year was 1924.

Longitude and latitude: Somewhere up north, thataway! The Finnish Lapland would probably be the most accurate location for this tale.

How old was I?

I guess I was somewhere between ten and twelve years of age. In those days, people were born and they died. No one really bothered with the record keeping. Lord knows there were plenty of us to go around.

Despite the fact it was close to midsummer, there was still snow on the ground. The reindeer and polar bears were roaming the streets while us kids were running around, having snowball fights. That is, during the minimum spare time we had between school, chores and work. Sleeping in those days was a luxury. Sometimes we had a full night’s sleep, sometimes the watch duty fell on my plate and I needed to stay up all night. Luckily, coffee had been invented ten years prior and we were all pretty much hooked on the sweet dark liquid.

Our housing for the winter months was an igloo, which the whole family constructed out of ice. Snow was used as plaster to fill in any holes between the blocks of ice. During the summer time, we had a tent like structure made out of bear and deer skin. Unfortunately all of us favoured the winter dwelling for one simple fact: The summer house stunk like a skunk. The choice of material was not a good one, but then, it was depression and all commodities were scarce.

The trip to school, either winter or summer time was made on skis and it was part to the exercise curriculum for all of us still eligible for the classes. A twenty kilometer trip back and forth was not a big deal and was building the strength and endurance nicely. This also came in handy for our after school activities. Some of us went to work in the coal mines, while others were herding rein deer or taking care of their younger siblings.

Each Saturday the Sauna was heated and all the family gathered into the cramped little room, heated up to eighty degrees. We were sitting all butt cheek to butt cheek in the nude on a wooden construct in the small dark room. Only the burning fire in the stove gave some lighting. As a luffa, a loosely tied bunch of birch tree branches with leaves on them was used. Out mother pummeled us with the concoction and me thinks she enjoyed it a little too much. Granted we children gave her grieve sometimes, so I will give her that.

Bathing for us then meant taking dips in the icy, below freezing waters. This, after we had first heated our body temperatures close to baking. Then we ran naked to the lake, where a large hole had been dug into the ice and plunged in.

All in all life was pretty ordinary and uneventful in my childhood, apart from the minor quirks.

Do I miss it? My childhood?

I would rather spend my next holiday on a labour camp!

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It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race! (TBT)

Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!

Dame Edna Everage Tour

“We are all born naked and the rest is Drag” – RuPaul

It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race!

This is Ixavier Lasloth coming live from the Galaxy near you!

Our news team is currently orbiting a small bluish rock in the farthest corner of the known universe. We are here to observe the supposedly dominant occupants of this planet they have named “Earth”. These people seem to be involved in something called the “human race”, although as to where and when the race will take place is still unclear.

We are here to observe the ritualistic behaviour of this particular species, whose skin colour is varying from a pinkish hue to darker brown shade or sometimes even red. Some of them are covered in a thick fur like layer, while others remain neutral and satisfied in their original skin.

We are in disguise to avoid any panic our strange appearance may cause in the inhabitants.

Upon closer inspection, we can clearly detect at least two distinctive sexes, but there may be more.

Although most of these creatures seem to be content in their existence, some of them rebel against the existing norm. These individuals have ventured to live their lives with their own set of rules and formed tight knit groups and living off the radar. These “outsiders” worship their heroes in an almost religious fashion.

This exceptional behaviour is the reason, why this reporter landed on this forsaken rock and decided to have a closer look.

After making contact with some of these “radical groups”, we were fortunate enough to get invited to observe one of their many rituals. The core group and their followers call themselves “De-rag Q-ueens.

We were invited to observe their masking ritual, reserved for the most elite individuals of the group. The “males” as we got to know them were performing an age old ceremony named the “drag race”.

Observing the ritual to a fault, there is a strict regime to follow:

The first step is to apply a thick layer of paint on the face. The next step is to add a head piece, which seems like a construct of some sort of animal hair. These headpieces come in every imaginative colour of the rainbow. To complete the transformation, a garment weaved with glittering items is pulled over the top half of the body. The feet are covered with footwear constructed from a leathery material and with an added feature, which seems to give the wearer more height.

When the total transformation from “male” to “female” was complete, it was time to “put on a show”.

The Q-ueens lined up and started walking in orderly fashion on what seemed to be a structure of wooden planks they had named the “cat walk”. A rhythmic beat followed by electrical lights flashing caused the Q-ueens to start producing sounds from their throats causing melodic sounds coming out from their mouths. This ritual was of a repetitive nature, where the melodies and sounds varied depending on the individual performing them. The “show” continued and the partakers managed to change their attire several times over before the ceremony was over.

All in all while observing this religious ritual in all its glory, this reporter found oneself caught in the moment; cheering and applauding at the end of the ceremony, which luckily was the accepted social convention.

While trying to get more in-depth information as to what the origin of this particular ritual was, I was fortunate to interview one of the elders among them. And the message, quite clear and directly quoted:

“We may be born naked, but surely the rest needs to be drag”
In this reporter’s opinion, this may be one of the more successful stories of Earth.

Until next time, this is Ixavier Lasloth, signing off!

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