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Tag Archives: world wide web
Some Social Media Bullshit (BEST OF 2016)
Posted in BEST OF 2016
Some Social Media Bullshit
You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!
Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!
* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!
A typical modern person’s day
@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?
#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:
A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email
@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:
#uploadfunnypic
A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.
@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:
A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.
@Coffee break everyone is:
A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.
Back home from the office.
@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:
A-F apply here too.
@Midnight, bedtime:
A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone
#g’night!
Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.
Wishing your spouse
#sweet dreams xoxo
Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.
Some Social Media Bullshit (TBT)
Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!
“Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia”
Some Social Media Bullshit
You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!
Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!
* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!
A typical modern person’s day
@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?
#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:
A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email
@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:
#uploadfunnypic
A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.
@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:
A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.
@Coffee break everyone is:
A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.
Back home from the office.
@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:
A-F apply here too.
@Midnight, bedtime:
A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone
#g’night!
Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.
Wishing your spouse
#sweet dreams xoxo
Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.
OMG: The Internet Just Crashed! (Repost for TBT)
Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!
“I was once living very actively – playing football, tennis, participating into car races. Sometimes I would play poker and pool. But later somebody stole my PC and that was it”
OMG: The Internet Just Crashed!
That moment you dreaded
Has unexpectedly arrived
The internet just died
Your life shredded
Panicking, freaking out!
Wondering, what the hell is this about?
You don’t have any clue
Of what you need to do
Retreating to a corner
Your life suddenly out of order
Sitting, sobbing, slowly rocking
Your whole body shaking
Cold sweat on your skin
What to do, where to begin?
Utterly and hopelessly lost
Oh, what a cost
For what you have lost
Is that precious connection
Your whole life’s projection
On the world wide web
Just Try It! (Repost for TBT)
Posted in the Throwback Thursday weekly series
Poetry, photography, tales and things that nature!
“Don’t do as I do, do as I write” Gun Roswell
Just Try It!
Being online
Sitting in the front line
Twenty four seven
Calling it heaven
Made it your tantra
Repeating that mantra
An existence with a twist
If you’re not on Google
You don’t exist
At your disposal
Hear out this proposal
Turn off the computer and phone
Don’t worry about being left alone
Forget the social media hype
For a while at least
Tame that beast
There is this thing called, life
Out there, somewhere
Lurking about
Just try it out!
You might actually find it
Better than expected
Feeling reconnected
And maybe even accept it
Some Social Media Bullshit (Repost for Blogging 201)
‘Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia’
Some Social Media Bullshit
You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!
Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!
* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!
A typical modern person’s day
@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?
#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:
A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email
@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:
#uploadfunnypic
A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.
@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:
A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.
@Coffee break everyone is:
A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.
Back home from the office.
@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:
A-F apply here too.
@Midnight, bedtime:
A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone
#g’night!
Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.
Wishing your spouse
#sweet dreams xoxo
Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.
Some Social Media Bullshit
‘Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia’
Some Social Media Bullshit
You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!
Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!
* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you are the star of your own show!
A typical modern person’s day
@In the morning
The alarm clock is going off, it’s time to get up.
What is the first thing you do?
#Pick up your phone from the night stand and:
A) Check your social media apps
B) Check your email
@Driving in the car to your place of work.
Listening to the radio and the DJ is urging you to snap a photo and upload it to their site:
#uploadfunnypic
A) You are snapping selfies and almost bumping into the car that stopped in front of you. (The other driver possibly doing the same thing as you).
B) You are twatting your social media buddies of what you just did.
@Lunch time everyone with their phones in their respective hands. Not one word is spoken to anyone ‘live’, but they all are:
A) Chatting (and oh yes, there are actually office use approved ones too: Yank!)
B) Updating statuses on various social media apps.
C) Uploading photos of what they ate (of course, a must for every self aware social medialite).
D) Someone shared a funny video and twatted the link to everyone else around the table.
E) Everyone watching the video.
F) Everyone twatting feedback to each other.
@Coffee break everyone is:
A) Uploading photos of coffee and doughnuts they will consume.
B) Chatting with the people around the coffee table.
Back home from the office.
@Dinner table the family is sharing a meal and their respective day:
A-F apply here too.
@Midnight, bedtime:
A) Time to recap today’s event in your “blab”.
B) Latest friend updates to be checked (so not to miss any important things such as what your friends ate or what they were watching on TV, etc.)
C) Twatting everyone
#g’night!
Sometimes though, you have to be more low tech. For example in the situation, where your respective spouse is not quite on the same level of enlightenment regarding the social conventions of the social media as you are. Then you have to resort to archaic methods like the SMS.
Wishing your spouse
#sweet dreams xoxo
Lesson learnt:
Getting anything done; 3% is talent, 97% is staying off the internet.
Just F-ing Google It!
“If it isn’t on Google, it doesn’t exist” Jimmy Wales
Just F-ing Google It!
If you are unsure
On finding the allure
As to why, what and who
If you are in doubt
Of where, how and when
Knowing all about
The sword being mightier
Than the pen
Your head is none the lighter
But you might get wiser
Than
The oracle
Oh, no, not the database
Get onto the next phase
And
Before you ask
More stupid questions
Or hand out any suggestions
Take upon yourself the task
And just fucking Google it!
Some Social Media Bullshit
‘Connecting people – The artist formerly known as Nokia’
Some Social Media Bullshit
You don’t have to like it, but have to be in there: The social media of the world wide web. After all, who wants to be a complete social outcast!
Here are a few examples of what can be used for keeping in touch with family, friends and even your favourite movie stars!
* Assbook: Like opinions, everyone has more than one
* Angstagram: I post photos of myself and my eating habits, therefore I am
* Bitter: You would be too if no one is following you, right?
* Benchpress: For every self aware blabber, but more artistic ;P
* Tiedup: A must for professionals, endorse endorse endorse until you drop!
* You-boob: You did something stupid, maybe flashed a body part usually hidden, it got on video and uploaded on the internet and now you…
View original post 369 more words
Just F-ing Google It!
“If it isn’t on Google, it doesn’t exist” Jimmy Wales
Just F-ing Google It!
If you are unsure
On finding the allure
As to why, what and who
If you are in doubt
Of where, how and when
Knowing all about
The sword being mightier
Than the pen
Your head is none the lighter
But you might get wiser
Than
The oracle
Oh, no, not the database
Get onto the next phase
And
Before you ask
More stupid questions
Or hand out any suggestions
Take upon yourself the task
And just fucking Google it!
Rantings Of A Third Kind 