Shall I Just Twitter Then?

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“I worry we are spending too much time on Facebook, that we are losing our ability to connect with people on twitter”

Shall I Just Twitter Then?

“Good morning” I say when I arrive at the office. No response, from anyone.

“Good morning” My voice a little louder, but still no response.

“GOOD MORNING” I am now half shouting. I don’t believe it, no response. Everyone sitting there staring at their screens, small, medium and large.

“Fine” I say to myself, “I shall just twitter ‘Good Morning’ then!”

Suddenly, my screen filled with pings, indicating several responses to my greeting – in Twitter, that is!

Today’s social convention, how could I have forgotten!

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Good God Get a Grip Girl!

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Sometimes it needs to be said! Reblogged/Enjoy!

Gun Roswell's avatarRantings Of A Third Kind

“No tea, no shade honey!” RuPaul’s Drag Race

Good God Get a Grip Girl!

You may
Think
You’re the
Cat’s meow
But let’s see
How you
Really feel
After I
Tell you
About
What you
Actually are

I’m not
Trying to
Come for you
Offend you
Upset you
Or even
Resent you
In any way

But this is
What it is
How it is
Really like

Why
Don’t you
Give yourself
A really good
Look in
The mirror
And tell me
Can you
Get a grip
On it!

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Four Options For Coffee

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“Coffee – the finest organic suspension ever devised. It’s got me through the worst of the last three years. I beat the Borg with it”Captain Kathryn Janeway

The Four Options Of Coffee

1) Good
2) OK
3) Drinkable
4) Yak

How to recognize bad coffee:

1) Looks like tea, doesn’t taste like tea and certainly not like any coffee you’ve ever tasted!
2) Sticky gooey stuff sticks on your tongue: Looks like tar, tastes like tar!
3) Your face twitches in a funny way: Not funny good, but funny bad.
4) Coffee with milk: Except when it’s ice coffee, with lots of coffee, a little ice and hardly any milk.

You know it’s an excellent cup when the coffee is:

1) Black.
2) The spoon melts in it before you manage to stir.
3) You have a burned after taste in your mouth for several hours after your last cup of the day.
4) It’s ten o’clock in the evening and you are still drinking it.

Note: Why you would actually stop drinking coffee at any hour is beyond me!

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Just Try It!

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“Don’t do as I do, do as I write” Gun Roswell

Just Try It!

Being online
Sitting in the front line
Twenty four seven
Calling it heaven
Made it your tantra
Repeating that mantra
An existence with a twist
If you’re not on Google
You don’t exist

At your disposal
Hear out this proposal

Turn off the computer and phone
Don’t worry about being left alone
Forget the social media hype
For a while at least
Tame that beast
There is this thing called, life
Out there, somewhere
Lurking about
Just try it out!
You might actually find it
Better than expected
Feeling reconnected
And maybe even accept it

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Fixing It

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“When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays” Henny Youngman

Fixing It

The day has arrived
In three months’ time
Finally going under the knife
Oh what a life
Facing the surgeon
Guess it was urgent
After all
This time spent
In the end
Hasn’t been a ball
Not a fan of hospitals, needles or blood
It’s such a crud
But not being in control
Is the worst of all
Lying unconscious
Body and mind
Out of commission
Please be kind
Without condition
Wish me luck
Let’s hope the doctors
Won’t fuck it up!

fixit

Invincible

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“A lot of us think we’re invincible… but we have to start putting ourselves on the to-do list” Giuliana Rancic

Invincible

The name suggested
A battle maiden invested
Always the strong one
Getting everything done
Relying on strength
Taking great lengths
Never cheating
Always completing

Out of the blue
Without a clue
When least expected
The unthinkable was inflicted
The temple of strength failed
And came tumbling down
Feeling jailed
Oh treacherous one

Completely helpless
Not the fearless
Never been so afraid
Beginning to fade
Sometimes going insane
From all that pain

Going through stages
In quite the rages
Denial, anger, bargain, depression
With each session
Looking for that quick fix
Throwing in the mix
Ideas of the radical
Forgoing the medical
With a scoff
Thinking on just walking it off

Final stage at hand
Taking the stand
Waving the white flag
No more snags
Feeling revived
Acceptance had arrived

battlemaiden3

What Ever!

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“Screw you guys, I’m going home!” Eric Cartman

What Ever!

You were smiling
Feeling charming
And quite beguiling
The sun was shining
This was supposed to be
A great day
For a song or a play

But then it turned out to be
Something else completely
It turned out to be
One of *those days*
Struck you in the face
Run over like a ten ton truck
And disappear without a trace

What the fuck?
Feeling like a schmuck
Completely out of luck
Standing in the rain
Without an umbrella
Almost going insane
And not from singing a cappella

So I say “What ever!”
And take my leave

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It’s only complicated if you are stupid

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“The most complicated skill is to be simple” Dejan Stojanovic

unnamed

It’s only complicated if you are stupid

“It’s complicated”
Don’t you just hate it
The comment that pops up
Like excuses, filling the cup

But it’s not, really, is it?
It’s just a made up quip
It is actually very simple
Super sweet, short and simple

Think smart and on the dot
Lying down or on your feet
Something made up on the spot
Or even profoundly deep

If it’s not rocket science
The appliance
Is usually elementary
And easily supplementary

So lay down the stupid
Forget the complicated
Unless you want a pimple
Because life really is very simple
When you get right down to it

simple

I Laugh, There For I Am

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“Laughter is the best revenge for anger” Dalai Lama

I Laugh, There For I Am

Call me crazy
Call me a fool
Or just a simple tool
Laughing, grinning
Face in full leering
Feelings of winning
Life gave you lemons
Or battling with demons
Trying not to worry
Or even feel sorry
For things that cannot change
Rather arrange
Time for a full belly laugh
Several times a day
It isn’t daft
Keeps your mind clear
Throughout the year
When you wake up
Forget the wile
Put on that smile
It is the best make up
Everyone can wear
Which will not tear
Come rain or shine
All will be fine

buddha2

Don’t Be A Bitter Bitch!

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“I just want to be clear, I am a very dark and bitter person, but I think on some level, everything really does come when it’s meant to come” Martha Plimpton

Don’t Be A Bitter Bitch!

So,
Things did not go your way
You were forced to walk away
Blaming life is never fair
Throwing your hands in the air
Ready for total surrender
Becoming quite the bitter
And complete quitter

Rather than
Trying again
Becoming a mender
The offender
Learning from
What went wrong
Becoming strong

Just,
Put a smile on that face
Tomorrow embrace
New and better opportunities
In other communities
You will discover that purpose
For another goal to chase
And find your best place

And then,
Just make them eat it Honey!