The Label Maker (Repost for TBT)

label

“Labels are for cans, not people” Anthony Rap

The Label Maker

Hey you with your label maker!
You like tagging people don’t ya, you faker!
You went right by me and took one look
Stuck this sticker on my forehead without a single hook
I am having a hard time getting it off
Did you think it would make a great perma-label on this spot?

But guess what, you nut
I washed my face with potent soap in a rut
With a huff and a puff
My forehead finally crystal clear and clean again
Luckily without the use of acid rain
And nothing of it sticking to my brain

No amount of glue
Will keep the sticker on my face
Your plan went sadly askew
Or were you just in the wrong place
Memorize this lesson
Into your big fat head
Go find some cans for making the impression
And label some of them instead

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Be careful what you wish for! (Repost for Writing 101)

“Not today Satan! Not today.” Bianca Del Rio

Be careful what you wish for!

Not another rejection! I was getting sick and tired of working my respective derriere off and for what? For nothing, thank you very much. No matter what I wrote, how I wrote or how many submissions I sent in, all my work got rejected.

“I would make a deal with the devil if I would finally get a chance!” I shouted out loud in the empty room.

The lights flickered and all got dark.

“Oh hell, not another power outage again!” I tried to feel my way in the darkness, but as I moved around, I realized I wasn’t bumping into any kind of obstacles, like the furniture or scattered stuff lying on the floor in my room.

Then I could see a bright spot in the distance. By instinct I started walking towards the light. When I reached the light, I noticed I had actually been transported to some place completely different. The surroundings reminded vaguely of some of the cardboard sets from many a sci-fi film I had seen. The place was surrounded by a heavy mist, like someone had gone wild with a smoke machine. Luckily I had taken my asthma medicine earlier.

I walked around and wondered whether I was dreaming or abducted by some funky disco loving aliens.

“Hello! Anyone home?” I shouted.

Then wooshing sound and flash of light and, there she was, standing before me in a catsuit like leathery outfit. She looked at me, clearly assessing who and what I was.

“So you would like to be famous?” She asked me.

“Who are you?” I was a not sure whether this was a dream or I had been set up by Candid Camera.

“Beelzebub.” She answered.

“Come again?” What the f..k? I was thinking this definitely had to be a set up.

She looked at me annoyed.

“You know as in Old Nick, Lucifer, the Tempter, Prince of Darkness? Ring a bell for you?”

I shook my head.

“Satan!” She shouted out loud her voice echoing in the setting.

“Ah!” I finally got it, “What’s with the decoy? Why not come right in front and introduce yourself like “Hi, I am Satan, nice to meet you!” I asked trying to lighten the mood.

She, Satan stared at me and I got a little worried then. My skin was burning a little. For what ever reason, I wasn’t sure.

“I heard you were ready to deal.” Satan stated matter of factually.

“Maybe,” I tried nonchalantly not believing my luck! “What kind of deal did you have in mind?”

“Well I can make you rich and famous and all that entails as.. What was it again you said you were, a writer?”

“Yeah!” So, not all knowing after all, I thought.

“Writer. Yes, well I have several of those, but if that is what you want to be then who am I to argue.” Satan responded, looking at me eyes flaming.

“What exactly would it entail? The deal I mean?” My curiosity was peaked, but this sounded too good of a deal to really be true.

“Well do you think you are any good as a writer now?” Satan asked me.

Motioning my hand in comme ci comme ça -manner. “Meh?”

“Well, despite your short comings, I can make sure what ever word fall from your pen or what is it you humans are using now, keyboard?”

I nodded.

“I can make sure it’s all gold and you will become a renowned writer.”

I was really hooked now.

“What do I have to do?”

Another woosh sounded.

“Simply put on them red slippers and click your heels three times!” Satan pointed at the newly appeared footwear.

I was hesitant, red wasn’t really my colour.

“I don’t know. Can I see that in an other colour?”

I could see Satan’s eyes widen and sure, there was smoke coming out of her ears.

“You dare to contradict me?” She was furious.

Oh, oh. I had angered the devil, not good. I was worried I might loose the deal. And red was fine. I could always accessorize and buy a red bag, maybe a matching hat…

“Fine! Don’t get your knickers in a bunch! I will put the red slippers on, no problem!” I slipped the shoes on one by one and pointed at them: “See! Chill out Satan!”

She grinned wickedly: “Excellent! Now click your heels three times.”

“Seriously?” I asked. I thought I heard that line in a movie some place.

“Do as I damn well say!” Satan clearly had anger management issues.

“OK, I will. Look, I am doing it.”

And with that said, I clicked my heels, one, two, three times. The lights flickered again. Everything went dark.

“Not this again! Been there done that, now bring on the light!” I shouted in despair.

Then the lights came on. I was back in my, room?

It wasn’t my room, not at least the way I left it. It was a huge room with nice furniture and all kinds of gorgeous glittery things around. I looked around in awe. Where was I?

I noticed a newspaper on the table. I went to look to find more clues as to where and why. My heart skipped a beat. The headline stated “Premier for ‘Dancing with the Devil in the pale moonlight’ written by the famous author, Gun Roswell”

I glanced at my feet. And, I was still wearing the red slippers on my feet!

“You have to be careful what you wish for. What you think you want, may be more than you can handle!”

wish

If There is a Wrong Place and a Wrong Time, I’ll be There (Repost for TBT)

“Not fitting in just means you’re in the wrong place”

If There is a Wrong Place and a Wrong Time, I’ll be There

A sale of shoes
Small sizes only
feeling bold
Into the men’s section
I wandered
No time to loose
A nice pair of boots
Fitting like a glove
I am in love
A passer by
Asks me to pose
For a picture
To be a feature
In the paper

In my raggedy jeans
Crashing a party
Of the cocktail kind
A piece of a pie
Instructing all to jive
I was an
Overnight sensation
Even without
The proper presentation
Dancing the night away
With a hip and a sway

In my way to a show
My face in a glow
Hoping premium seats to score
Then a let down
All sold out
Feeling like clown
My face in a frown
Life is a bore

Sitting in the entry way
Sobbing
‘Hey lady’ I hear
Can you sing?
In my mind a ding
My heart is throbbing
Without remorse
I join the chorus
Singing my heart out
Without a doubt
The best night
Of my entire life
Despite the lack
Of several facts
I can’t dance, act or even sing

If-there-is-a-wrong-place-and-a-wrong-time-I-ll-be

Highway to Hell (Repost for TBT)

“If you’re going through hell, keep going” Winston Churchill

Highway to Hell

You are on
The fast track
The last track
On a highway
To hell

Intensive pressure
Needing a refresher
Competitive pursuit
Of fame and fortune
Dancing to someone else’s flute
May end up a misfortune
If not stopping
Until you drop

The smart life
The simple life
The only life
You should choose
Before your goose
Is cooked
And you will loose
And get hooked

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The Blame Game (Repost for TBT)

“Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise” Sigmund Freud

The Blame Game

When you are a lying
On that sofa
Crying
Into a coma
Blaming everyone else
Except yourself

Your mother, your father
Even the family pet rather
Than copping-out
It was your self doubt
Accomplishments gone array
Just because of a high
To have and eat the cake
Soon turned out a fake

Excuses made
For each mistake
“It was not my quirk”
“The dog ate the homework”
“The weather was bad”
“The others made me feel sad”

Stop the blame game
Leave the shame
Look in the mirror
The picture getting clearer
Listen to the gong
Playing the same song
It was you
All along

blame game

It’s only complicated if you are stupid (Repost for 3 day quote)

complicated-header

“The most complicated skill is to be simple” Dejan Stojanovic

unnamed

It’s only complicated if you are stupid

“It’s complicated”
Don’t you just hate it
The comment that pops up
Like excuses, filling the cup

But it’s not, really, is it?
It’s just a made up quip
It is actually very simple
Super sweet, short and simple

Think smart and on the dot
Lying down or on your feet
Something made up on the spot
Or even profoundly deep

If it’s not rocket science
The appliance
Is usually elementary
And easily supplementary

So lay down the stupid
Forget the complicated
Unless you want a pimple
Because life really is very simple
When you get right down to it

simple

I am who I am (Writing 101, Day Five: Hook ’em with a quote)

Writing 101, Day Five: Hook ’em with a quote

A blank page can be intimidating. Sometimes it’s helpful to use someone else’s words to give you a boost. Today, use a quote or passage from something you’ve read to introduce your post.
The type of quote you choose is up to you. Maybe the passage is something you’d like to comment on, or is one of your favorite quotes. Or maybe you read a great essay the other day, and one of its lines made you think.

1968

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken” Oscar Wilde

I am who I am

I am
What I am
Simply
Just
Because
I want to be

I am a closet writer
I am also intensely hyper
I am some kind of photographer
I am also a videographer
I am fifty year old lady with an attitude
But not without much gratitude

So what if I wear my hair short
So what if I sometimes snort
So what if I wear pink at my age
So what if I feel comfortable on a stage
So what if I wear a shorter than short skirt
So what if I’m a bit of a flirt

combo
Related posts:
Pretty in Pink
I’m not Evil, I was just Drawn That Way

relax

Pretty in Pink (Repost for Writing101)

pink

“The colour pink makes everything look pretty”

pink copy

Pretty in Pink

The colour pink
It’s more than just ink
It may be a chosen lifestyle
Or just some clothes in a pile
Don’t put me on a file
Just because for a while
I chose to wear the colour
Stay out late and holler
Wearing a short skirt
A well earned perk
Naturally, all in pink
And very much in sync
The illusion complete
To everyone send this tweet
“She is off her rocker
Oh what a shocker”
And with that, my job here is done!
And I had so much fun!

pink    black-pink

I’m not Evil, I was just Drawn That Way (Repost for Writing101)

images

“Evil is a point of view” Anne Rice

I’m not Evil, I was just Drawn That Way

evil-queen.jpg

A Woman
Can be
Many things

Curvy
Feminine
Sexy

Calculating
Manipulative
Evil

Promiscuous
Slutty
Trollopy

A Woman is also

A

Mother
Sister
Wife

Lady
Dame
Queen

Treat her right
A woman can be

Giving
Loving
Romantic

And forever Yours

evil_queen_by_vvernacatola-d6doi74

Good God Get a Grip Girl! (3 Day Quote Challenge, Day Three)

Posted in 3 Day Quote Challenge
3 Day Quote Challenge, Day Three

Thank you Lucile, for nominating me to this challenge!

LatriceRoyale-VandyDragShow_01

“We are all born naked and the rest is drag” Rupaul Charles

3 Day Quote Challenge, Day Three

Today’s quote is in honour of one of my favourite Drag Queens, Miss Latrice Royale. I loved her in RuPaul’s Drag Race and she continues to amaze me with her warm heart and perfection in each of her performances.

“Good God Get a Grip Girl!” Latrice Royale

latrice-royale

Related post:
Good God Get a Grip Girl!