Quote a Week Tuesday, 2015-12-01

Posted in A Quote a Week Tuesday
& In honour of the month of December

quote

If it’s December 1941 in Casablanca, what time is it in New York?” Howard E. Koch

Quote a Week Tuesday, 2015-12-01

This week’s Tuesday quote seemed appropriate for the occasion. After all, today is December first, and just yesterday, it was summer, oh what a bummer?

Time flies when you are having fun?
Or is it just another pun?
Hoping to see the sun
Even though it’s December one

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“How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before its afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flown. How did it get so late so soon?”
Dr. Seuss

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Me and My Shadow (Repost for SL-WEEK)

Celebrating an anniversary; A thirty years’ journey with my Partner in Crime

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“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English”

Me and My Shadow

It was nineteen eighty-five
When I hitched a ride
Ever since that time
We have been tied
Like sugar and spice
Abbott and Costello
And what have you
I am still quite amazed
And feeling totally graced
That someone would stare at my face
For thirty odd years straight
So thanks for all this time, sweetheart
Lets try to make it to the next part
And add another thirty to the cart
After all the most important thing
Which makes you want to sing
It’s good to have that one person
Who will support you without a reason
No matter how serious
Or delirious
Life gets
I will bet
You will still be the one
Who I can rely on
To go absolutely
And completely
Bonkers with
Ain’t that a hit!

me and my shadow

Black Friday Finland Style

Posted in the Fabulous Friday series: “Black Friday Finland Style”
Humour, Dialogue, Poetry
In honour of the month of November

finland joke

“I hope your Black Friday injuries aren’t so severe that you can’t click a mouse on Cyber Monday.”

Black Friday Finland Style

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“Bright light, bright light!”

“Oh my God, what is that?”

“Holy hell, is it a flying saucer?”

The masses had come out from their homes and workplaces staring and pointing up at the unidentified bright light high up in the sky. Some rumours had circulated, stating Finland had fallen under attack by UFOs.

In the corner of the street, a lonesome believer was preaching:

“The end of the world as we know it, is upon us!”
That day, was the first day of the month March.
Several months earlier

It was the beginning of October. The land had fallen under darkness. As if an evil warlock had cast a spell. Sour faces all around, no expressions, as if away blurred. Hardly any sound could be heard. People on the streets, dragging their feet. The lust for life, all sucked out.
First of March

An unidentified source of light had appeared in the skies.

“The sun”, someone said, as the onlookers stood before her, bewildered.

“It is called the sun” she stated again with a smile.

But the other just shook their heads in disbelief.

Still, turning their collective faces towards “the sun”. And, as by a wave of a magic wand, the crowd closed their eyes in unison and enjoyed that sacred moment. A collective sigh of content was the only sound heard.

For who knew, how long this would last…

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Life is a Boxing Match (Repost for TBT)

“Boxing is real easy. Life is much harder” Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

Boxing Match

The gloves are on
The arena awaits you
From the illusion of winning
Your head is spinning
The chanting getting louder
You’re feeling prouder

The plan was a clean fight
No hitting below the belt
The deal fitting your own self
No more time for flight
The crowd is cheering
You are leering

At the ding of the gong
The fight is on
Dancing around
Pulling punches
No one going down
The referee announces

No one is winning

It is time
To up the ante

The gloves come off
The game now on
You start to scoff
Your mind’s set only on the con
Spitting out words of slander
Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander

Hair being torn
Nails like thorns
Feeling the scorn
Scratching, screaming
Ending only in
Real blood and tearing

No one is winning

It is time
For plan C

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What Ever! (Repost for TBT)

what ever mondays

“Screw you guys, I’m going home!” Eric Cartman

What Ever!

You were smiling
Feeling charming
And quite beguiling
The sun was shining
This was supposed to be
A great day
For a song or a play

But then it turned out to be
Something else completely
It turned out to be
One of *those days*
Struck you in the face
Run over like a ten ton truck
And disappear without a trace

What the fuck?
Feeling like a schmuck
Completely out of luck
Standing in the rain
Without an umbrella
Almost going insane
And not from singing a cappella

So I say “What ever!”
And take my leave

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“X” marks the Spot

Writing 101, Day Seventeen, A map as your muse

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“Gold is a treasure, and he who possesses it does all he wishes to in this world, and succeeds in helping souls into paradise” Christopher Columbus

“X” marks the Spot

Looking for the pirate’s treasure
Nothing really can measure
The excitement and pleasure
And the feelings of pressure

An adventure for a lifetime
A tale before bedtime
A passage through time

When you finally reach
That one specific beach
And the day you siege
It is time to do as you preach

The treasure you found
Was right on the ground
What was once lost
Is now once more found

If you want to know
Come on, I will show
Your mind it will blow
But let’s take it slow

Maybe you were blind
But, look and you shall find
Finally without a strife
Only with, the purpose of life

After all
The X always marks the spot!

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The Illusion of Multitasking (Repost for TBT)

Multitasking-poem

“I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once”

The Illusion of Multitasking

In case you were asking
My answer:
I was multitasking

Procrastinating
Deferring
Until tomorrow
Without a sorrow
Delaying the inevitable
Playing the pivotable
Unproductive
Almost destructive

The illusion
Of accomplishment
Clear as day
In my mind
Everything a play
Nothing accomplished
Nothing adhered
Time is a wasting
That much is clear

It was just the illusion
Of multitasking

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The Label Maker (Repost for TBT)

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“Labels are for cans, not people” Anthony Rap

The Label Maker

Hey you with your label maker!
You like tagging people don’t ya, you faker!
You went right by me and took one look
Stuck this sticker on my forehead without a single hook
I am having a hard time getting it off
Did you think it would make a great perma-label on this spot?

But guess what, you nut
I washed my face with potent soap in a rut
With a huff and a puff
My forehead finally crystal clear and clean again
Luckily without the use of acid rain
And nothing of it sticking to my brain

No amount of glue
Will keep the sticker on my face
Your plan went sadly askew
Or were you just in the wrong place
Memorize this lesson
Into your big fat head
Go find some cans for making the impression
And label some of them instead

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Be careful what you wish for! (Repost for Writing 101)

“Not today Satan! Not today.” Bianca Del Rio

Be careful what you wish for!

Not another rejection! I was getting sick and tired of working my respective derriere off and for what? For nothing, thank you very much. No matter what I wrote, how I wrote or how many submissions I sent in, all my work got rejected.

“I would make a deal with the devil if I would finally get a chance!” I shouted out loud in the empty room.

The lights flickered and all got dark.

“Oh hell, not another power outage again!” I tried to feel my way in the darkness, but as I moved around, I realized I wasn’t bumping into any kind of obstacles, like the furniture or scattered stuff lying on the floor in my room.

Then I could see a bright spot in the distance. By instinct I started walking towards the light. When I reached the light, I noticed I had actually been transported to some place completely different. The surroundings reminded vaguely of some of the cardboard sets from many a sci-fi film I had seen. The place was surrounded by a heavy mist, like someone had gone wild with a smoke machine. Luckily I had taken my asthma medicine earlier.

I walked around and wondered whether I was dreaming or abducted by some funky disco loving aliens.

“Hello! Anyone home?” I shouted.

Then wooshing sound and flash of light and, there she was, standing before me in a catsuit like leathery outfit. She looked at me, clearly assessing who and what I was.

“So you would like to be famous?” She asked me.

“Who are you?” I was a not sure whether this was a dream or I had been set up by Candid Camera.

“Beelzebub.” She answered.

“Come again?” What the f..k? I was thinking this definitely had to be a set up.

She looked at me annoyed.

“You know as in Old Nick, Lucifer, the Tempter, Prince of Darkness? Ring a bell for you?”

I shook my head.

“Satan!” She shouted out loud her voice echoing in the setting.

“Ah!” I finally got it, “What’s with the decoy? Why not come right in front and introduce yourself like “Hi, I am Satan, nice to meet you!” I asked trying to lighten the mood.

She, Satan stared at me and I got a little worried then. My skin was burning a little. For what ever reason, I wasn’t sure.

“I heard you were ready to deal.” Satan stated matter of factually.

“Maybe,” I tried nonchalantly not believing my luck! “What kind of deal did you have in mind?”

“Well I can make you rich and famous and all that entails as.. What was it again you said you were, a writer?”

“Yeah!” So, not all knowing after all, I thought.

“Writer. Yes, well I have several of those, but if that is what you want to be then who am I to argue.” Satan responded, looking at me eyes flaming.

“What exactly would it entail? The deal I mean?” My curiosity was peaked, but this sounded too good of a deal to really be true.

“Well do you think you are any good as a writer now?” Satan asked me.

Motioning my hand in comme ci comme ça -manner. “Meh?”

“Well, despite your short comings, I can make sure what ever word fall from your pen or what is it you humans are using now, keyboard?”

I nodded.

“I can make sure it’s all gold and you will become a renowned writer.”

I was really hooked now.

“What do I have to do?”

Another woosh sounded.

“Simply put on them red slippers and click your heels three times!” Satan pointed at the newly appeared footwear.

I was hesitant, red wasn’t really my colour.

“I don’t know. Can I see that in an other colour?”

I could see Satan’s eyes widen and sure, there was smoke coming out of her ears.

“You dare to contradict me?” She was furious.

Oh, oh. I had angered the devil, not good. I was worried I might loose the deal. And red was fine. I could always accessorize and buy a red bag, maybe a matching hat…

“Fine! Don’t get your knickers in a bunch! I will put the red slippers on, no problem!” I slipped the shoes on one by one and pointed at them: “See! Chill out Satan!”

She grinned wickedly: “Excellent! Now click your heels three times.”

“Seriously?” I asked. I thought I heard that line in a movie some place.

“Do as I damn well say!” Satan clearly had anger management issues.

“OK, I will. Look, I am doing it.”

And with that said, I clicked my heels, one, two, three times. The lights flickered again. Everything went dark.

“Not this again! Been there done that, now bring on the light!” I shouted in despair.

Then the lights came on. I was back in my, room?

It wasn’t my room, not at least the way I left it. It was a huge room with nice furniture and all kinds of gorgeous glittery things around. I looked around in awe. Where was I?

I noticed a newspaper on the table. I went to look to find more clues as to where and why. My heart skipped a beat. The headline stated “Premier for ‘Dancing with the Devil in the pale moonlight’ written by the famous author, Gun Roswell”

I glanced at my feet. And, I was still wearing the red slippers on my feet!

“You have to be careful what you wish for. What you think you want, may be more than you can handle!”

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If There is a Wrong Place and a Wrong Time, I’ll be There (Repost for TBT)

“Not fitting in just means you’re in the wrong place”

If There is a Wrong Place and a Wrong Time, I’ll be There

A sale of shoes
Small sizes only
feeling bold
Into the men’s section
I wandered
No time to loose
A nice pair of boots
Fitting like a glove
I am in love
A passer by
Asks me to pose
For a picture
To be a feature
In the paper

In my raggedy jeans
Crashing a party
Of the cocktail kind
A piece of a pie
Instructing all to jive
I was an
Overnight sensation
Even without
The proper presentation
Dancing the night away
With a hip and a sway

In my way to a show
My face in a glow
Hoping premium seats to score
Then a let down
All sold out
Feeling like clown
My face in a frown
Life is a bore

Sitting in the entry way
Sobbing
‘Hey lady’ I hear
Can you sing?
In my mind a ding
My heart is throbbing
Without remorse
I join the chorus
Singing my heart out
Without a doubt
The best night
Of my entire life
Despite the lack
Of several facts
I can’t dance, act or even sing

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