Good God Get a Grip Girl!

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“No tea, no shade honey!” RuPaul’s Drag Race

Good God Get a Grip Girl!

You may
Think
You’re the
Cat’s meow
But let’s see
How you
Really feel
After I
Tell you
About
What you
Actually are

I’m not
Trying to
Come for you
Offend you
Upset you
Or even
Resent you
In any way

But this is
What it is
How it is
Really like

Why
Don’t you
Give yourself
A really good
Look in
The mirror
And tell me
Can you
Get a grip
On it!

ggggg

I Laugh, There For I Am (Repost TBT)

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“Laughter is the best revenge for anger” Dalai Lama

I Laugh, There For I Am

Call me crazy
Call me a fool
Or just a simple tool
Laughing, grinning
Face in full leering
Feelings of winning
Life gave you lemons
Or battling with demons
Trying not to worry
Or even feel sorry
For things that cannot change
Rather arrange
Time for a full belly laugh
Several times a day
It isn’t daft
Keeps your mind clear
Throughout the year
When you wake up
Forget the wile
Put on that smile
It is the best make up
Everyone can wear
Which will not tear
Come rain or shine
All will be fine

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Just F-ing Google It!

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“If it isn’t on Google, it doesn’t exist” Jimmy Wales

Just F-ing Google It!

If you are unsure
On finding the allure
As to why, what and who
If you are in doubt
Of where, how and when
Knowing all about
The sword being mightier
Than the pen
Your head is none the lighter
But you might get wiser
Than
The oracle
Oh, no, not the database
Get onto the next phase
And
Before you ask
More stupid questions
Or hand out any suggestions
Take upon yourself the task
And just fucking Google it!

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What Ever!

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“Screw you guys, I’m going home!” Eric Cartman

What Ever!

You were smiling
Feeling charming
And quite beguiling
The sun was shining
This was supposed to be
A great day
For a song or a play

But then it turned out to be
Something else completely
It turned out to be
One of *those days*
Struck you in the face
Run over like a ten ton truck
And disappear without a trace

What the fuck?
Feeling like a schmuck
Completely out of luck
Standing in the rain
Without an umbrella
Almost going insane
And not from singing a cappella

So I say “What ever!”
And take my leave

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World Animal Day, 2015-10-04

Celebrating all Animals everywhere on World Animal Day

Photo credits include Miranda Kuusisto, Jessica Solingius, Johanna Nieminen

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“The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated” Mahatma Gandhi

World Animal Day, 2015-10-04

What would the world be
Without a cat, elephant or a bee
As far as the eye can see
Birds sitting in the trees

Join in and celebrate
All creatures great and small
They have given us much more
Than anyone can elaborate

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Throwback Thursday 2015-08-27

“This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.” –Douglas Adams

Throwback Thursday 2015-08-27

Today is time for a walk down memory lane again and dig into the archives of Rantings Of A Third Kind.

Here are a few of them:

Simply, Weird

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Serially Found

serially

Stalking is such a Strong Word. Let’s call it… Social Research!

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Let the Rantings continue!

ThrowbackThursday

Recommissioned

Gun Roswell is back in action!

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“A hospital is no place to be sick” Samuel Goldwyn

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Recommissioned

What once was broken
Has just now been fixed
When I was woken
I realized I wasn’t jinxed
Now it is time to start healing
And loose the sickly feeling
The situation wasn’t as rough
Just follow the instructions
In ship shape and Bristol fashion
And up and about soon enough

gr3

Related Posts:
Out of Order
Replaced by Metal
Fixing it
Invincible

Ode to Bedpans

A homage to bedpans everywhere!

“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running” Groucho Marx

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Ode to Bedpans

When you are
Down and out
Then just give
A small shout
Soon enough
Before things get tough
The nice nurses
Will come a running
In their purses
Carrying the plumbing
And without a doubt
Ease your pout

bedpan--2

 

Related Posts:

Out of Order
Replaced by Metal
Fixing it
Invincible

Rocket Science? It’s Just Life! (Repost)

“What I do is not rocket science, but I sure do love it” Kyle Chandler

Rocket Science? It’s Just Life!

Life

Is complicated
Feelings of hate
It challenges you
It teases you

Makes you feel very small
The elating, making you tall
Pushing you against the wall
Even if you wanted to just go to the mall

You are so confused
With feelings of being abused
Left out standing in the cold
Cheated of everything and very old

It’s more like science
Than any kind of common sense
How to break the fence
Find the formula of suspense

Remember this one thing
And it can make you sing

It’s only complicated
If you are acting stupid
It’s not rocket science
It’s just life with a little defiance

rocket

Back in Time: Repost for Throwback Thursday

“When I was kid, my social network was called ‘outside’ “

Back in Time

This is the work one of pure fiction. Neither polar bears nor reindeer were harmed in the creation of this literary process!
The year was 1924.

Longitude and latitude: Somewhere up north, thataway! The Finnish Lapland would probably be the most accurate location for this tale.

How old was I?

I guess I was somewhere between ten and twelve years of age. In those days, people were born and they died. No one really bothered with the record keeping. Lord knows there were plenty of us to go around.

Despite the fact it was close to midsummer, there was still snow on the ground. The reindeer and polar bears were roaming the streets while us kids were running around, having snowball fights. That is, during the minimum spare time we had between school, chores and work. Sleeping in those days was a luxury. Sometimes we had a full night’s sleep, sometimes the watch duty fell on my plate and I needed to stay up all night. Luckily, coffee had been invented ten years prior and we were all pretty much hooked on the sweet dark liquid.

Our housing for the winter months was an igloo, which the whole family constructed out of ice. Snow was used as plaster to fill in any holes between the blocks of ice. During the summer time, we had a tent like structure made out of bear and deer skin. Unfortunately all of us favoured the winter dwelling for one simple fact: The summer house stunk like a skunk. The choice of material was not a good one, but then, it was depression and all commodities were scarce.

The trip to school, either winter or summer time was made on skis and it was part to the exercise curriculum for all of us still eligible for the classes. A twenty kilometer trip back and forth was not a big deal and was building the strength and endurance nicely. This also came in handy for our after school activities. Some of us went to work in the coal mines, while others were herding rein deer or taking care of their younger siblings.

Each Saturday the Sauna was heated and all the family gathered into the cramped little room, heated up to eighty degrees. We were sitting all butt cheek to butt cheek in the nude on a wooden construct in the small dark room. Only the burning fire in the stove gave some lighting. As a luffa, a loosely tied bunch of birch tree branches with leaves on them was used. Out mother pummeled us with the concoction and me thinks she enjoyed it a little too much. Granted we children gave her grieve sometimes, so I will give her that.

Bathing for us then meant taking dips in the icy, below freezing waters. This, after we had first heated our body temperatures close to baking. Then we ran naked to the lake, where a large hole had been dug into the ice and plunged in.

All in all life was pretty ordinary and uneventful in my childhood, apart from the minor quirks.

Do I miss it? My childhood?

I would rather spend my next holiday on a labour camp!

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