What Ever!!!

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“Screw you guys, I’m going home!” Eric Cartman

You were smiling
Feeling charming
And quite beguiling
The sun was shining
This was supposed to be
A great day
For a song or a play

But then it turned out to be
Something else completely
It turned out to be
One of *those days*
Struck you in the face
Run over like a ten ton truck
And disappear without a trace

What the fuck?
Feeling like a schmuck
Completely out of luck
Standing in the rain
Without an umbrella
Almost going insane
And not from singing a cappella

So I say “What ever!”
And take my leave

A Jack of all trades, but a master of pun

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“I know many things?” Gun Roswell 

I may know a little bit of everything

But sometimes, I am just pretending

When I get into a dark corner

And there is no kind of door there

I use humour, to dig my way out

Sometimes, I even have to shout!

The noise sprouting out of my mouth

So loud and silly, it’s just all, willy nilly

And then, I really do feel guilty

Then out pours the utter most filthy!

So guess you can say

I’m so stupid I just pretend

Play the part of the fool

Being a total tool

A Jack of no trades 

And a master, of none?

Paranoid?

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“I think I just may be, a tad paranoid?”

Voices, noises

Never good with so many choices

Watching, looking, staring

Who’s in my kitchen cooking

Daemons, angels, the devil perhaps?

God, Jesus and all those things fictional

Aliens and conspiracies more so

Paradoxes, global warming 

At least that one is true!

The FBI, police forces, neighbours even

And with their cats and dogs too!

They are all watching, me!

I am, becoming, quite paranoid

Something, something, wild side?

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“I have no idea?” Gun Roswell 

I have no new ideas 

My mind is completely blank

Writing this un-rhyming poem

Is the only thing of I could think

Something, something…

I guess is better than

Nothing?

But I do what I can

(Do I really?)

Scribbling on my smart phone

Trying to create the perfect poem

And simply realising I am just repeating

The one missing thing all over again

So I am stopping

Right here, right now

Before my brain is popping out

I will try to take a break

From being a writer fake?

I am alive?

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“Funny, how that thing did and happened?” Gun Roswell

Alive?

I am only alive when 

Writing?

A story, a tale or a poem perhaps?

Until that time, I am gone
Existing, elsewhere?

Out there, in the stratosphere?

Is this, a simulation?

Real life or some memory?

But I am still, alive…

…Right?

Coffee. Nuff said.

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“Did I mention, that I really love coffee?” Gun Roswell

Today, is time for, Coffee

There’s no form of life without, Coffee 

A world revolves around, Coffee

That’s it, Coffee

Life=Coffee

Nuff said, I’m outta here!

And getting some more, Coffee

I am not a perfectionist, but I always see the tiniest of flaws

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“Flaw makes perfect?” Gun Roswell

A flaw here, another there!

So many flaws, I have some to share!
I’ve never been inspired to be the greatest
But neither am I among the totally flakiest

But in the years of late for sure
I have started to think of maybe, a cure?
For that nit-picking nagger, who’ll find all them flaws

Or maybe, just maybe, give it the hee-haw!?

Cupcakes (Haiku)

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“Eat them with care” Gun Roswell

Sweet tasty cake like treats
Cupped in packages for your eating pleasure
Eat them without any worries

Emergency?

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“Call 911, or 112 if in Europe” Gun Roswell

“911, what’s the emergency?”

“Everything?”

“How can it be so? You must define at least one thing wrong!”

“Can’t, it’s all so bad!”

“How bad is it?”

“It’s all full of shit. Life, living, this… nothing worth a single bit!”

“But, can’t you find at least one thing? Something, that would enable you to sing?”

“No, nothing.”

“That’s really sad. Almost makes me mad!”

“Yeah, well, how do you think I feel? Is this, life, all of it, even all real?”

“Maybe, or maybe it’s just a dream?”

“Well, if I am only dreaming, then maybe, from this nightmare I can wake up, fake my way up and smile, at least for a while?”

“Sounds like a plan? Have you tried to stand?”

“I will, just now. Yep I can, I am so proud!”

“Sounds great, maybe it was not too late, just a while to hesitate?”

“Maybe, but now, I will try walking, one step, then another, I hope no more you to bother. I am on my path now, somehow, able to walk again!”

“Thank you, for the explain! Now I too, can leave this plane, help an others, onto the next level to be able to get.”

“Good luck, I will try not to fuck up… this time!”

“You too! After all, for trying, there is nothing to loose!”

End connection… “Beep, beep, beep…”

Custom made

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”B*tch, please!” Gun Roswell


I was made for you to hate,
There is no need for me that further to explain
And yet, I cannot resist telling you all of this
The recipe quite simple not to exist

Add:

A little dirt, some salt, hint of water and lots of plastic,
Place them in a mould, then simply, fold
Bake it all in a really big oven, 
Hopefully, something soon starts showing

A recipe might not as refined as that, which in the end, is just fine, oh snap!

I am here for all of you to peruse,
Completely made of plastic, certainty elastic 
One in a million, but somehow unique like a billion

I may come from a top shelf
But still manage to be oh so very custom made

Deal with it 😛