Love, Cat, Fat, Cat

“Growing old together, or at least, growing up together? Matter of an opinion perhaps? But growing fat together, now that is really something!” Gun Roswell

Love, cat, fat, cat

The two small kittens, wandered to this specific position, on the map that is, making their home with the Hooman who could not ignore, the perfect slim and tiny baby cats, who simply needed someone to look after. So, welcoming them duo with open arms, was most likely a move smart.

Years then passed and the two tiny kittens grew, really fast. Bouncing around the place, the house and the yard, where they usually stayed, but mostly inside, eating whatever their Hooman keepers would the two bouncy, playful and very lively duo of cats provide.

It was fine for plenty of years, playing, amusing where needed and hunting mice, well, sort of, as there weren’t that many really around. Then curling up in the lap of the Hooman, making them feel needed and totally wanted, because yes, those cats were oh so smart!

So, a few more years passed, and as the once thin and slim kitty cats bounced all around, started to slow down, their essence as their minds, grew rather wide. Fat someone might say, but hey, maybe the bones inside grew too. But that was not the point, to complain about the fat and the achy joints, rather the fact, that these two, grew together to the ripe old age they were now.

I, can drive my car?

drive my car

“Get it, sit in it, listen to music in it, meditate in it, or simply take it out for a spin!” Gun Roswell

I, Can Drive My Car?

Setting the scene
Pedal to the metal
Nerves unsettled
Giving it some gas
A little more for the blast
Overheating the machine

The engine is revving
Feels like heaven
Seeing is believing
The stress finally relieving
All the senses perceiving

No time to scoff
No time to fear
The moment is here
The road ahead, clear
Blast off!

Baby I can drive my car
Even though I’m not a star
Still I’m getting very far
Performance getting up to par
And maybe I love you babe

Bitch Ever So Perfect

“I am not trying to give an image of a fairytale, perfect, everything else, I am just being myself” Rebecca Loos

Bitch Ever So Perfect

Call me the perfect bitch
Or just the worst one you can find
I may be a broom-less witch
But still the best of my kind

You may find me..

Taking flight
In the darkest of night
Or just taking a bus
In the early morning rush

You may see me…

Dancing naked in the pouring rain
Celebrating life to the fullest
Or just having a beer in a dive bar stained
Being one of the people dullest

You may catch me…

Casting the mightiest of spells
Cursing and not giving a damn
Or just talking to my mom on the cell
Just because, I can

Now you may see me…

In a new aspect
As a bitch perfect
Because that is who I am
Just because, I can

What the hell is wrong with you today?

“What the hell is wrong with you? 

– Don’t you just hate that question popping up more frequently than usual?
And it’s not always others asking either ;P “ Gun Roswell

What the hell is wrong with you today?

Well, it could be many things actually, so thanks for asking!
Then again, I don’t really think you want to know the truthful answer as you may not like what you are hearing.

But what if it was a simple explanation? Like a feeling being hurt or even a physical injury aching?
Then that would make you happy right? 
Getting a simple quick answer for the upside down frown and my antisocial behaviour and my many strings of curse words thrown out there in the air?

But, as I turn to look deep inside of me, trying so totally hard to look for that perfect and simple answer? Guess what, I cannot find one! Surprise!

It can be a combination of many things, as usually it is nothing specific, rather just a trigger which sets off the very fowl mood and the off behaviour.
Because there really is no one thing to find, not for me at least, as sometimes, I just feel, well, off and odd and all those things which makes someone shout at me: 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Best bet when that happens? When I turn to the dark side?
Well, leave me be in my misery. I will venture outside eventually.

The antisocial me

“I like people, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes, well, they are really too much“ Gun Roswell 

The antisocial me

This time of seclusion, combine that to extreme weather, the heat more importantly, with the never off turning sun? The seasonal joys of supposed fun? Well, at this very moment in time, when others are enjoying the heat and having some fun. What do I do? 

Lock the doors, pull down the curtains and dim all possible lights! Never ever leaving the house and keep as quiet as a mouse, just in case, someone had decided for my companionship to chase. Even if it is not the best of time, then again, it never really was.

You see, I enjoy my own company, my own time. Having to make absolutely no excuses for not dropping by anyone who otherwise would guilt trip me for not being the team player and the social one. Because guess what I found out. That I am really not!

The time of discovering the truth, how bad and unexpected, even unacceptable as suspected, but the thought of going outside into the world wide and facing the people, the sun, doesn’t appeal anymore and is certainly no more fun. Yeah, I said it, loudly, you feel stunned?

I have finally faced the side, which I had to hide, the antisocial me, but now, here she is!

The two options on my brain at any given moment

“I have two whole modes in my small brain, and here is their story” Gun Roswell

The two options on my brain at any given moment

The brain is a funny thing, as a mere thought of pleasure can make you dance and sing. The happy mode can go on, at least until the end of the experience which caused this exercise in the first place, something which usually do not last that long as it seems after a while to beep something so totally wrong. The off switch then quickly hits, and all the fun and games seize to exist. 

The cells few and between in this mind, supposedly kind, so hard are trying to find the reasons for the face in front, to stay completely sour and blunt. It is odd, but then again the cells makes me scoff, after all, what the hell was I thinking, deserving all that leisurely break after all. It is so fake the brain cells keep on telling me, because without the sense of fun, I am free?

WTF?

Seems my brain supposedly superior cells and I, are on a complete divide, as all my stupid body wants to do, is hang out and waste some time. Preferably doing something causing a loud laugh, making the close by people to comment, “look at that!” Alas, as soon as I try to let loose, those f-Ing brain cells tell me I have to choose or I will loose, the rest of them.

This suggestion was certainly a no brainer, as am I.

Coffee, never enough of!

“There certainly is no life, no movement, no nothing without coffee in the early morning hours!” Gun Roswell

Coffee, never enough of!

The one single thing in the world, which makes me out there to get hurled?
Well did you guess what it is? Or do I need to give you a few more hints?
Maybe go and check out what the topic of this ditty was really all about?
Or is it so, that you too, need the something more to get going strong?
As in strong meaning the liquid so totally steaming, it almost burns?
But it won’t hurt, not as much anyway as this is the one thing the lines will blur
The one sustenance you cannot live without or rather be the person all about
Something so fine ever devised, that not even those against it can you rile
As all the while having that cup of that special thing, will make you want to sing
And then a smile maybe emerging so who is anyone against that going to be arguing
After all, isn’t this what we all should thrive to be, smiling and sedate beings?
Well, maybe, but after a cup or few, then maybe none to silent and sedate you’ll be
And hey, we can’t all be those kinds of people as some of us, are made of coffee
As simple as that, as having a chat with a neighbours cat, as with coffee inside your veins
Will make you able the dailies to a feline quite easily explain, as such is the power
Of coffee, and there can never be enough of that kind of offering, and yes, that is the thing

No email today?

“Am I missing out on something very important here?” Gun Roswell

No email today?

The empty box, stating in bold letters “No mail”
No, this can’t be right, do checking once again

“Refresh, refresh, refresh! One more time, refresh!”
Hitting on that circular arrowy button one ore more times more, I confess

But I still get the same defiant message
It’s taunting me to the point of depression

Checking the internet connection, maybe that is the reason
Bringing up the program, watching the speed catching on

A hundred, then two, then more, bringing up the total score
The power, the speed, the search engines, all of it aboveboard

No definitely there is nothing on the side of the World Wide Web wrong
As this invisible connection is definitely very stable and oh so strong

Glaring at the screen, particularly the so called postal box of the internet
Where the electronically delivered communiques usually arrive without get

But it seems, that not for me, not today at least, there will be no sliver
Of any kind of news, any hellos, not one single offer, nothing of sorts, delivered

Am I missing out on something very important?
Am I on the block list for some reason I should not?

The fear strikes then, that of the lack of all that is out there
As the whys nobody anything with me wants to share

Pure torture this is, because I am fearing the worst of sort
That I am no longer liked, as I keep on staring at the blank box

Refresh button forgotten, as I might as well be the misbegotten
Falling into darkness, I fear I have become one of the important less

Almost loosing my mind, the mantra ongoing, “Why oh why?!”
And the the familiar sound of the ding, sounds out from the machine

As I dare to look, I feel the powerful feeling all over and every nook
Of me starts doing a small dance as I am reading, “you have new mail”

Older and definitely wider (never wiser)

“Older and wiser! My ass! I think older and wider is more apt, literally, just look at it!” Gun Roswell

Older and definitely wider (never wiser)

Each and every morning I am going through the exact same boring routine
As I observe myself from the bathroom mirror, the image worse each day to be seen
All the smile caused wrinkles and here I am placing the sarcastic pair of air quotes
Well, the could be quite distinguished and simply more than fine
But it’s the other parts, which bother more as you see they are getting more and more wide
Except, well, the smile, which gets more narrow to the point of a beak of a sparrow
Smaller and duller and not like those other mentioned places, which are getting fuller and fuller
The old adage, some people still dare to say, that of getting wisdom with age?
Only it is a total sham and worse of it all is, that it came with cans of spam!
And of course I dared myself and ate the whole huge damned lot
So now I am neither the winner of the pot and I think I likely ran out of luck
As I am getting much older now, only not as I had hoped, the kind of wiser
But definitely with each and every passing day, I will be the more wider!

Super Woman, Happy International Women’s Day!

“A girl should be two things: Who and what she wants.” –Coco Chanel

Super Woman

Let’s rebuild her to a

Bigger
Better
Faster
Stronger
Bolder

Better than she was before
Someone truly to be adored
A extraordinary superhuman
An absolute wonder woman

We have the technology
Never mind the theology
Using finest neurology
Without a doubt or apology

To be

Smarter
Taller
Chipper
Funniera
Longer…
“Oh, wait just a minute!”

“What’s wrong?”

“We don’t have enough power!”

“We don’t?”

“No, we used it all to juice up the last superwoman wannabe.”

“OK, patch her up then and send her on her way!”

“Next!”