Laughing My Ass Off

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“Even the gods love jokes” Plato

Laughing My Ass Off

I heard a few jokes
Then I broke
Hard in laughter
Listening to them rants
Almost peeing my pants
I fell on the floor
Tears on the pour
Laughing so hard
Out loud without guard
My ass falling off
Starting to cough
Getting more hysterical
Surely a big error of clerical
Cracking up completely
It wasn’t discreetly
Ultimately dying
From shear laughter
Couldn’t be more dafter
Not worth the crying
It was a good ride
And well worth the while
Now here I am
Tweeting
From top of the cloud
A greeting
And still laughing
Out loud

laughing_905

Super Woman

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“I am not saying I am Wonder Woman I am just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room”

Super Woman

Let’s rebuild her to a

Bigger
Better
Faster
Stronger
Bolder

Better than she was before
Someone truly to be adored
A extraordinary superhuman
An absolute wonder woman

We have the technology
Never mind the theology
Using finest neurology
Without a doubt or apology

To be

Smarter
Taller
Chipper
Funnier
Longer…
“Oh, wait just a minute!”

“What’s wrong?”

“We don’t have enough power!”

“We don’t?”

“No, we used it all to juice up the last superwoman wannabe.”

“Ok, patch her up then and send her on her way!”

“Next!”

wonderwoman

The Voyeur Within

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“I’m convinced we all are voyeurs. It’s part of the detective thing. We want to know secrets and we want to know what goes on behind those windows…” David Lynch

The Voyeur Within

Always looking
Something is cooking
Seeking, digging deeper
Some call me a peeper
Sometimes ashamed
If getting blamed
Going into hiding
Covering my eyes
Throwing the dice
Sneaking a peak
Through my fingers
Intrigued by life
As it lingers
Enjoying every moment
Eyes wide open
The thrill of getting caught
Present with every thought
Never out of malice
Only looking for that chalice
The reward of missing nothing
And seeing everything

voyeur 1

Taking Shortcuts is Easy?

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“If you take shortcuts, you get cut short” Gary Busey

Taking Shortcuts is Easy?

Easy and always simple
Leaving no dimples
The quickest way to take
Is to just faking it
Because wanting your cake
As much as eating it
Taking the shortcuts
Without any buts
All through life
Without any strife
The quickest way
May be the easiest
Even the cheapest
But soon one day
You may end up with
A basket full of shit

images

Not without my Coffee

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“Come to the dark side, we have coffee”

Not without my Coffee

I freely admit it
I am addicted
To the finest organic suspension 
One of the greatest inventions

Coffee

If gets me up in the morning
So read this  forewarning
To save yourself from scorning
Do not get between me and my 

Coffee

If you want your day
To be inventive and stay
On top of the world
Life delightfully twirled

Coffee

Take my advice
Don’t think twice
Pour yourself a cup of java
It beats the hell out of guava

Coffee

Your fellow human kind
Never looked so fine
The world filled with love
If everyone joined in a cup of

Coffee

coffee-quotes-coffee-wall-decal-woman

Peeping Tammy (Through the Lens)

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“Any photographer who says he’s not a voyeur is either stupid or a liar” Helmut Newton

Peeping Tammy

Camera ready
Hands steady
Acting like the pros
Striking a pose
Click, click, click
Getting the kicks
When images saved
And getting made

Like a Peeping Tom
Creating photo bombs
Spying through the lens
Trying to make a amends
Posting views
Not only for the selected few
But no less
In the world of wireless

Enjoy!

lens1

Good God Get a Grip Girl!

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Sometimes it needs to be said! Reblogged/Enjoy!

Gun Roswell's avatarRantings Of A Third Kind

“No tea, no shade honey!” RuPaul’s Drag Race

Good God Get a Grip Girl!

You may
Think
You’re the
Cat’s meow
But let’s see
How you
Really feel
After I
Tell you
About
What you
Actually are

I’m not
Trying to
Come for you
Offend you
Upset you
Or even
Resent you
In any way

But this is
What it is
How it is
Really like

Why
Don’t you
Give yourself
A really good
Look in
The mirror
And tell me
Can you
Get a grip
On it!

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My Precious One

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“Last Wednesday, I stupidly dropped my iPhone in the bath, and my life has sort of spiraled almost out of control” Patrick Stewart

My Precious One

The utter horror
Oh the sorrow
For no where
My precious one
Can be found

Why me?
Why now?

I keep on looking
Searching, longing
Turning every stone
With my fingers to the bone

Oh wherefore art thou
My sacred cow?

Suddenly in the distance
I hear a familiar sound
I am utterly astound
And without resistance

Dare I hope and glee
To be united with thee?

My heart skipping a beat
Feeling the heat
I have found it
My precious fit

I am back in the zone
Cradling you gently
My one and only
Iphone

20140911_apple_pants-small-100478964-orig

Click Me!

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“Maybe she is born with it, maybe it’s an Instagram filter”

Click Me!

#Click
> Like
> Follow
> Friend

Check out the latest trend
Please, do not offend
It’s just social media
Don’t let it lead ya

click-here

Block, What Block?

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“Writing about a writer’s block is better than not writing at all” Charles Bukowski

Block, What Block?

Deadline approaches
Shoving off the roaches
Clearing the table
Computer enabled

Typing, typing, typing

Trickles of sweat
On my forehead
Writing some more
Oh what a bore

Writing, writing, writing

Reading out loud
Feeling kind of proud
Even without a crowd
Sitting on a cloud

I love it
I feel uplifted
Its pure golden
Feeling bolden

Continuing my writing

Reading back
I feel the lack
Lost the right track
I am a quack

I hate it
It’s utter shit
My writing sucks
What the fuck

Almost quitting
Seems fitting
Maybe try knitting
Before I am splitting

Delete, delete, delete

Giving it a third try
Even though feeling dry
No pain no gain
I need a new aim

Writing, writing, writing

Finally done
Hesitation all gone
Task completed
Feeling depleted

Reading, reading, reading

Not half bad
Finally feeling glad
Afraid of changing my mind again
I hit send

writers-block