The Four Stages

“The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress” Philip Roth

The Four Stages

My mind racing
A mile a minute
Restless pacing
Time not infinite

Head filled
With many stories
Not too thrilled
Of those inventories

Work in progress
Rather than in press
Not an offense
Just a defense

The stages of writing
Clear in my head
Would rather be
Or staying in bed

I hate it, I love it
I am up, I am down
I am all around
Unable to commit

Now needed
Some simple planning
Write until depleted
Then only be fanning
When a task is completed

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Going Up?

“Never give up, never surrender, full speed ahead!” Galaxy Quest, Commander Peter Quincy Taggart

Going Up?

Higher, faster, stronger
Can’t wait much longer
Without any doubts
Reaching for the clouds
Got to get up, up, up!
Never going to stop
Counting every minute
The sky is the limit

Then, out of the blue
Quite abruptly
Movement disrupted
Everything frozen
Feelings of brazen
Completely gone
Looking at the door
No route for escape
Standing there
Without a clue
My mouth agape
Pulling my hair
Eyes wide
Nowhere to hide

“Well, apparently the lift has stopped?”
“Sixteenth floor, going no higher?”
“No, next step is to be opted.”
“Guess we are out of the dire!”
“Yes, well, time to get off this ride!”
“Right! Please, after you!”
“Thank you! How kind.”
“No problem! Next stop into the queue!”

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Just Try It!

“Don’t do as I do, do as I write” Gun Roswell

Just Try It!

Being online
Sitting in the front line
Twenty four seven
Calling it heaven
Made it your tantra
Repeating that mantra
An existence with a twist
If you’re not on Google
You don’t exist

At your disposal
Hear out this proposal

Turn off the computer and phone
Don’t worry about being left alone
Forget the social media hype
For a while at least
Tame that beast
There is this thing called, life
Out there, somewhere
Lurking about
Just try it out!
You might actually find it
Better than expected
Feeling reconnected
And maybe even accept it

funny-quotes-internet

OMG: The Internet Just Crashed!

“I was once living very actively – playing football, tennis, participating into car races. Sometimes I would play poker and pool. But later somebody stole my PC and that was it”



OMG: The Internet Just Crashed!

That moment you dreaded
Has unexpectedly arrived
The internet just died
Your life shredded
Panicking, freaking out!
Wondering, what the hell is this about?
You don’t have any clue
Of what you need to do
Retreating to a corner
Your life suddenly out of order
Sitting, sobbing, slowly rocking
Your whole body shaking
Cold sweat on your skin
What to do, where to begin?
Utterly and hopelessly lost
Oh, what a cost
For what you have lost
Is that precious connection
Your whole life’s projection
On the world wide web

wifi

Out Into The Wilderness

“To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel” Fran Lebowitz

Out Into The Wilderness

Urban nature
What a wild creature
Concrete, asphalt
Dog poop on the sidewalk
Grass may look green
But everyone has seen
It was spray painted
To keep it untainted
And just as a feature

Nothing quite like
The smell of petroleum
In the early morning
When riding that bike
Or taking a hike
Though fair warning
Try to avoid stepping
Onto the tossed wrapping
Made of aluminium

Reaching the heavy trafficked streets
Listening to the musical feats
Of the car horn section on the right
The jackhammers creating the beats
People shouting in chorus
Day feeling more bright
Like your name was Doris
Crossing the street at red light
Just for fun not out of spite

Come late evening
Walking through the darkened park
The streetlights broken
Someone a lurking
Deep in the bushes
Not at sea, so at least no sharks
Your pace fastening
Trying to be cunning
Then almost running

Finally arriving
To the safe haven
Entering the doorway
You realize you’re not in Norway
From the lack of pine trees
Rather the sweet smell of pee
Greeting you, making you sneeze
Not the perfume of choice
But it could be worse?

You could be camping
Out in the wilderness
In a sleeping bag, damping
Rain pouring on your sleepiness
Bears lurking outside
No where to hide
Clutching onto the covers
Hoping to survive
Until the sun rises

Camping - bears pairing humans with the proper wine

You can catch more flies with honey… And even more with manure?

“Who wants to lick honey, must not shy away from the bees” Scots proverb

You can catch more flies with honey… And even more with manure?

Leonard Hofstadter: I’m just saying, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Sheldon Cooper: You can catch even more flies with manure; what’s your point?

Don’t be a rude dude
Or a crude prude
Just smile a little
For a change at least
Tame that beast
Don’t try to debate it
You might even like it
You won’t be hated
Most will be quite taken
When you are not faking
That giggle
It’s not a riddle
Giving a little
Getting more back
Take a whack
Just throw the dice
Try to be nice
Not a besserwisser
Or an ass kisser
It all pays off in the end
With only a wee effort spent
A smile and a great attitude
Trumps being rude
Manure or honey?
I’d bet my money
On the sweet thing
Any day

honey 3

Baby I Can Drive My Car

“I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I’m gone” Steven Wright

Baby I Can Drive My Car

Setting the scene
Pedal to the metal
Nerves unsettled
Giving it some gas
A little more for the blast
Overheating the machine

The engine is revving
Feels like heaven
Seeing is believing
The stress finally relieving
All the senses perceiving

No time to scoff
No time to fear
The moment is here
The road ahead, clear
Blast off!

Baby I can drive my car
Even though I’m not a star
Still I’m getting very far
Performance getting up to par
And maybe I love you babe

pink mini

Just F-ing Google It!

“If it isn’t on Google, it doesn’t exist” Jimmy Wales

Just F-ing Google It!

If you are unsure
On finding the allure
As to why, what and who
If you are in doubt
Of where, how and when
Knowing all about
The sword being mightier
Than the pen
Your head is none the lighter
But you might get wiser
Than
The oracle
Oh, no, not the database
Get onto the next phase
And
Before you ask
More stupid questions
Or hand out any suggestions
Take upon yourself the task
And just fucking Google it!

bart

More, Please!

“Please, sir, I want some more” Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist

More, Please

I hate it!
More?
Yes please

It’s disgusting and vile!
More?
Yes please

This tastes really bad!
More?
Yes please

I don’t like this series!
More?
Yes please

I have no fondness for this type of activity!
More?
Yes please

I am getting too old for this shit!
More?
Yes please

The flavour of this coffee is more like tar!
More?
Yes please

I have too many shoes already!
More?
Yes please

Life sucks!
More?
Yes please

moreismore

Fixing It

“When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays” Henny Youngman

Fixing It

The day has arrived
In three months’ time
Finally going under the knife
Oh what a life
Facing the surgeon
Guess it was urgent
After all
This time spent
In the end
Hasn’t been a ball
Not a fan of hospitals, needles or blood
It’s such a crud
But not being in control
Is the worst of all
Lying unconscious
Body and mind
Out of commission
Please be kind
Without condition
Wish me luck
Let’s hope the doctors
Won’t fuck it up!

fixit