“There is no substitute for coffee in the whole wide world, it is the most refreshing and nourishing sustenance ever devised and nothing and no one, comes even close to it” Gun Roswell
Without coffee….
I am not a very nice person, especially in the early morning hours, even after the showers
But, pour me a cup of coffee, a large one a that, it can be plain and black, preferred that way anyway, then pour me another one, and perhaps one more for good luck…
Then watch me turn from the evil horned devilish being I’ve just been before all that caffeine, and turning into a… well, perhaps not as totally changed and all around nice person…
But, a tolerable one, who can accomplish any task you might just be sending my way and do say this with utter and complete conviction…
As coffee is, the most, the best, the only thing I really do need, just to survive a day until the end and if a need would arise, beyond and way into the night…
As with coffee, I can slay, I can fight, I can try to reach the very top of the world, well, at least, on some heap where I am hurled into…
As long as the darling coffee, never desist to exist, my life, well, it will be pretty fine, unless, you take, my precious and only coffee, away!
“To tweet, to twat, to what the frack! Too many messages to send, too much time on the internets of things to spend, oh Twitter, thou art a heartless bitch!“ Gun Roswell
“There are always things on the to-do list pending, always!” Gun Roswell
Too much stuff to do, too little energy to do it!
Chores, tasks, gigs, jobs, whatever you might them wanna call, they seem to be of an endless supply, but, never one to shy away from a challenge, still, where is the time for it all, and should I care any less?
The planner always full, with something or another to do, never the time for rest, even for the best, not that I am claiming to be one, but it would be nice, at least for once, to have a completely empty desk with a cleared up calendar!
So, guess I will do nothing to day, as there is just too much there, I would not even know where to begin, and hey, if it is a sin, to just slack for a day, then fine, I am a mega big sinner, so go ahead, on me, lay all the blame!
In a galaxy far far away To the dark side you may stray Because you just wanted a holiday A little weekend escape With the stormtroopers parade Just stay in the shade
But after hanging out with Vader He would surely be the traitor Hogging all the toilet paper And sending you to meet your maker You realized sooner or later …It was time to flee this theatre
Back on track with team Yoda, Or these days, even Baby Yoda I may be missing the scotch and soda Laying lazily on a soft sofa But soon it will be time for yoga And later on TV some Oprah Who said I could not fill my quota!
Happy Star Wars day to one and all! And may the Force be with you, always!
“There is something to be said about people living their very lives, taking on every adventure, seeking out new things, until their little hearts sing – I hate the lot of them, so sue me!!!“ Gun Roswell
Before there was a Dare Devil, but only the Devil remains
I used to be a Dare Devil, now, I am just a plain ole Devil
Cursing loudly, dooming all those daring venturers to the very pits of hell
Wherever they might just dwell, they know whom they area!
So, with that note, yeah, they will so go far, never minding what this ole Devil had to say.´
Just because they have all those dreams left in them, making them towards their destiny sway
Wanting to take a swing on the tallest branch and then dive into the great unknown without any qualm, doubt or whatever is needed to just do whatever their little rotten heart desires
Supposedly the fire within, and to inspire them to move along with their stunts and what nots.
Yeah, I might have been one of them, once, but not any more
What remains is the bitter punch, and that even is totally a chore to achieve
As once you have left that spicy spirit leave?
Well, there is nothing but bitterness, which will let the broken heart heave
“It’s Monday again folks! Better buckle up tight, because we are in, for a rude ride!” Gun Roswell
Monday – not again!
It is far too early, in the bloody hours of the morning, as I keep on yawning Rolling, out of bed, even if, I should have stayed, under the warm covers instead My head, is a total mess, and I am slowly but gradually beginning, to feel the stress Of yet another week beginning, and no, I am so not, any kind of ballads singing The signs were all there, in plain sight, just yesterday, all day long, I am fearing For this day, to once again, come around, was it unexpected? Not really Because for sure, I knew all along, it was lurking there, behind, the closed doors Snoozing the alarms, going to hiding, trying to keep on the snores No, nothing really ever helps, so, this is it folks! And no, no more of them jokes! This is serious business and we all, need to start a rebellion, nay, a revolution! To ban this day for once and for all, and never, ever again, should anyone feel small When standing, against this, very big, hairy monster of a thing, on this, day Where most of us, or at least some of the more sensitive people, feel like they are slain By, this, fire spitting dragon, with the sharpest of teeth, as it is coming, to existence Each and every single week, and right after, that perfect, slow paced place, no resistance left…
Alas, the weekend is now gone, and I am standing, sad and totally alone, dreading Fearing, shaking, my pants almost peeing, but, with hands so sweaty, but I am nearing My sword raised high and without even a hint of a smile, I am going to face it once again- – Monday!
“I like people, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes, well, they are really too much“ Gun Roswell
The antisocial me
This time of seclusion, combine that to extreme weather, the heat more importantly, with the never off turning sun? The seasonal joys of supposed fun? Well, at this very moment in time, when others are enjoying the heat and having some fun. What do I do?
Lock the doors, pull down the curtains and dim all possible lights! Never ever leaving the house and keep as quiet as a mouse, just in case, someone had decided for my companionship to chase. Even if it is not the best of time, then again, it never really was.
You see, I enjoy my own company, my own time. Having to make absolutely no excuses for not dropping by anyone who otherwise would guilt trip me for not being the team player and the social one. Because guess what I found out. That I am really not!
The time of discovering the truth, how bad and unexpected, even unacceptable as suspected, but the thought of going outside into the world wide and facing the people, the sun, doesn’t appeal anymore and is certainly no more fun. Yeah, I said it, loudly, you feel stunned?
I have finally faced the side, which I had to hide, the antisocial me, but now, here she is!
“We are all born naked and the rest is Drag” – RuPaul
It’s A Human… No, It’s A Drag Race after all!
This is Ixavier Lasloth coming live from the Galaxy near you!
Our news team is currently orbiting a small bluish rock in the farthest corner of the known universe. We are here to observe the supposedly dominant occupants of this planet they have named “Earth”. These people seem to be involved in something called the “human race”, although as to where and when the race will take place is still unclear.
We are here to observe the ritualistic behaviour of this particular species, whose skin colour is varying from a pinkish hue to darker brown shade or sometimes even red. Some of them are covered in a thick fur like layer, while others remain neutral and satisfied in their original skin.
We are in disguise to avoid any panic our strange appearance may cause in the inhabitants.
Upon closer inspection, we can clearly detect at least two distinctive sexes, but there may be more.
Although most of these creatures seem to be content in their existence, some of them rebel against the existing norm. These individuals have ventured to live their lives with their own set of rules and formed tight knit groups and living off the radar. These “outsiders” worship their heroes in an almost religious fashion.
This exceptional behaviour is the reason, why this reporter landed on this forsaken rock and decided to have a closer look.
After making contact with some of these “radical groups”, we were fortunate enough to get invited to observe one of their many rituals. The core group and their followers call themselves “De-rag Q-ueens.
We were invited to observe their masking ritual, reserved for the most elite individuals of the group. The “males” as we got to know them were performing an age old ceremony named the “drag race”.
Observing the ritual to a fault, there is a strict regime to follow:
The first step is to apply a thick layer of paint on the face. The next step is to add a head piece, which seems like a construct of some sort of animal hair. These headpieces come in every imaginative colour of the rainbow. To complete the transformation, a garment weaved with glittering items is pulled over the top half of the body. The feet are covered with footwear constructed from a leathery material and with an added feature, which seems to give the wearer more height.
When the total transformation from “male” to “female” was complete, it was time to “put on a show”.
The Q-ueens lined up and started walking in orderly fashion on what seemed to be a structure of wooden planks they had named the “cat walk”. A rhythmic beat followed by electrical lights flashing caused the Q-ueens to start producing sounds from their throats causing melodic sounds coming out from their mouths. This ritual was of a repetitive nature, where the melodies and sounds varied depending on the individual performing them. The “show” continued and the partakers managed to change their attire several times over before the ceremony was over.
All in all while observing this religious ritual in all its glory, this reporter found oneself caught in the moment; cheering and applauding at the end of the ceremony, which luckily was the accepted social convention.
While trying to get more in-depth information as to what the origin of this particular ritual was, I was fortunate to interview one of the elders among them. And the message, quite clear and directly quoted:
“We may be born naked, but surely the rest needs to be drag” In this reporter’s opinion, this may be one of the more successful stories of Earth.
Until next time, this is Ixavier Lasloth, signing off!
Rantings Of A Third Kind 