Lazy stance for cats

“Cats can be so productive when they want to, but why bother as it’s simpler to be lazy, right?!” Gun Roswell

Lazy stance for cats

The cats are always chasing something, being all active and what not, catching the mice and other rodents, then taking up a play with their master, giving all the affection they can muster and then, even thanking for the great food they will always receive as a reward as after all, they are the pet of the house and thus, pride and joy of their owner…

Wait, wait, wait! Cats? Talking about cats here or?

Yes, well, the truth of the matter is that…

Cats, well, despite being fluffy and cute and all kind of adorable, well, they are totally lazy, and rightfully so. Because why not, once you have mastered the better side of life, when sleeping twenty-three hours a day is the best laid plan ever and then, getting all the fine food which the hooman servant will bring, just because the cat is so darned cute and taking good pix for them insta snaps. 

Yeah, well, at least if a cat has been lucky enough to land a job at a household, where they are appreciated for themselves and that is all, and yeah, that should be the life of a cat, noting more nothing less.

The cat and the blues

“The cats too can feel the blues and then sing it out loud” Gun Roswell 

The cat and the blues

The furry and fluffy and alway happy friends of ours, the felis catus, the domestic cat, homey or stray, does not matter anyway, as they may easily give their feelings away, even more so than their hooman counter parts, and when they do, they too, will sing the blues, and they will do it any time it will them suit.

So, when you hear the tones of the song, with a hint of an off key drawl, filled with lots of sadness echoing across the long and narrow allies, rest assured, those are the cats of the hood, yours, theirs, no one’s, all of them meowing the same tune, that of the sorrow filled blues.

And before you threaten to sue, just look into your very own self for that specific blue, because all of us have it, most likely buried deep inside, forgotten, denied, even to the others lied, but it’s there and if you like, you too may let it all out, join the crowd, of felines yodelling out loud, and soon enough, the feelings have passed and the songs of sadness have released the laughs, all simply fine, no sin or crime.

Close up, and personal

“If you get really close to a cat’s face, well good for you, as hoomans usually don’t, at least not without getting scratched” Gun Roswell 

Close up, and personal

The face cute and adorable, so touching it would be quite plausible, but behind that mask of a soft and furry face, might just be something wicked anyways, as long as it amuses the feline you being too familiar, as the cats have their limits to their own finesse and grace.

And so, if you choose to stick your hand or even your  very nose way too close, to that fluffy looking coat, you may find that the cat, amused not so much is, of your actions obtuse, so be prepared for some heavy duty scratching soon enough, when you are off guard.

So, why not do the thing smart and stays the heck outta the cats face, just try to admire the overload of cuteness experienced, from a farther away distance and unscathed you may end up to be, as you see, the cats appreciate boundaries far more than hoomans do.

As when you follow this one simply rule, rather than becoming the bleeding fool, you and the furry feline will certainly maintain a relationship very calm and cool and that is the very best one to be in, both cat and servant in this fragile relationship of a spin.

The cat and the faucet 

”Cats and water, do not mix? Well how about this?” Gun Roswell 

The cat and the faucet 

Water not the most favourite thing, of a proud cat who can with a meowing note forever sing, but when it comes to playtime around the kitchen, when others are busy cleaning and washing dishes, a furry feline will find, the perfect place and facet to fool around.

The running water of the tap, is as much annoying as a small dogs yap. The somewhat melodic drippety drip sounds, can be heard pretty much all around, the small house. But for the kitty cat of the premises, she will find it’s not a miss, rather a cool toy despite the annoyed looks on her feeders face.

And then, making the most fun of this newly found bliss, the small cat will make a fun play of it to last, until pretty much for an hour, no matter if someone else’s mood has gone sour for listening to the constant dropping of the waters now running down the drain, pretty much in vain. But that is a small price to be paid, for this precious kitty cats fun of play, as it is, the true master of us all 😉

Cat naps

“Cats like to nap, quite a lot, and that seems to be the only constant in the universe” Gun Roswell 

Cat naps

Cats sleeping? In the middle of the day? In the perfect sunlight of a spot? Sounds like something all of us would like in to partake! It’s a most ingenious way of life, especially when you are lucky enough to live in a warm house, then pick and choose your perfect spot and take the nap without any doubt. Indeed, a life so perfect and without much stress, simply sleeping without caring any less of the going ons off of the world around, simply dreaming while in a sleep sound. And hey, who could blame them, as this is the most efficient way of spending a day!

So, Hoomans, why not follow the example, of these furry felines, who are not lying, when the are lying as it were, snoring and dreaming and all of that scheming going on? Perhaps, but who knows what goes on in the mind of a deep sleeper, so do the best thing, and find the best spot, maybe not on the floor but wherever more comfortable imaginable, then take a load off, and dream away the day. After all, life, is supposed to be a dream, right?

The cat and the selfie snap

”The cats like to destroy things, at least those that are on their way, when they over the tabletops stray, or at least asin their opinion, redecorating” Gun Roswell 

The cat and the selfie snap

The cats are cool with most things, and posing for pictures is certainly their thing, as natural are they, with a swagger and then the pose, at the moment of their choice, they will make the perfect models and then it’s full throttle so better keep that camera shutter clicking, and those flashlights flickering as the cat once started to pose, ain’t gonna stop until something completely different, catches its attention in most likely an instance. So, better keep on clicking away, and get those pictures without delay, and onto that social media account them display as many likes they are likely to repay. Both of you happy from the opportunity of a photo shoot as the loot, for the cat should be, some nam-names as a treat. One thing is for sure, that if the cat itself could, control a device such as a phone, they would be most likely snapping selfies each and ever day. Causing scenes wherever they go and then snapping those proud duckface selfies all along the way.

Black cat sitting on the street corner

“There is a black cat in the street just sitting there, should I be scared?” Gun Roswell

Black cat sitting on the street corner

There once was a black cat
Whom neatly on the street corner sat
Never moving, never budging
Even if there would be a large truck in
Coming around the bend
He would just sit there and this time spend
On nothing and everything
As the world would turn around him

Why you may ask?

Well you see, this is his one job
The only one suited on this small blue globe
As he is the very watcher of us all
The one black cat, sitting quite tall
And that is why there is no fear for us at all
As he keeps an eye on us, that we will not fall

The cat at the doorway

“The cat at the door, acting like the bouncer? Well, whom else did you expect?” Gun Roswell 

The cat at the doorway

There, by the door, the cat lazily lay, much to the few random visitors dismay, who were none too fond of the furry felines themselves. But hey, if you’re coming my way, to my home, or rather the house now owned by my cat, then you better get adjusted to the one simple fact, that she is in charge and decides, whom shall through the entrance pass. So, next time you show up, at the doorstep of our cohabit-at, bring something, anything, to show your appreciation for the furry friend, on whose mood your entrance depends. A bribe, a price, some fish, basically anything you can come up with. And another reminder; the cat is quite picky too, about you and what you might bring. So, do think really carefully through, even the possibility that she may sue. But most of all, if you really want to visit, then set aside all that illicit and try at least, to be the cat’s friend, with all the intent you can muster. Because she can sniff a liar out and then, you’re on your own and totally busted! Sorry, but I did warn you and if I’m brutally honest, the cat always comes first.

Love, Cat, Fat, Cat

“Growing old together, or at least, growing up together? Matter of an opinion perhaps? But growing fat together, now that is really something!” Gun Roswell

Love, cat, fat, cat

The two small kittens, wandered to this specific position, on the map that is, making their home with the Hooman who could not ignore, the perfect slim and tiny baby cats, who simply needed someone to look after. So, welcoming them duo with open arms, was most likely a move smart.

Years then passed and the two tiny kittens grew, really fast. Bouncing around the place, the house and the yard, where they usually stayed, but mostly inside, eating whatever their Hooman keepers would the two bouncy, playful and very lively duo of cats provide.

It was fine for plenty of years, playing, amusing where needed and hunting mice, well, sort of, as there weren’t that many really around. Then curling up in the lap of the Hooman, making them feel needed and totally wanted, because yes, those cats were oh so smart!

So, a few more years passed, and as the once thin and slim kitty cats bounced all around, started to slow down, their essence as their minds, grew rather wide. Fat someone might say, but hey, maybe the bones inside grew too. But that was not the point, to complain about the fat and the achy joints, rather the fact, that these two, grew together to the ripe old age they were now.

Tails of the Black Cat

b-c-1

“Cats are connoisseurs of comfort.”
― James Herriot

Tails of the Black Cat

The furry black cat
On the sidewalk sat
Looking for that rat
Who had entered the flat
The flat where the cat
Slept on the mat
Now ready for combat
With the daring rat
Who had woken the cat
From his well earned nap

“Soon I will you catch,
You feisty little rat!
I bet you taste like a bat
And possibly are non-fat
After all that
I will finally have my nap
On my comfy little mat!”